Love Song

Amy

“You do?” I said. He nodded and let go of my hands, standing up from his seat and getting down on one knee next to me, pulling a little box out of his pocket. He opened it, revealing the shiniest, most beautiful diamond ring I’d ever seen in my life.

“It may seem crazy and maybe a little fast,” he said softly, “But after being with you for so long, I’ve come to find out that I don’t ever want to have to imagine my life without you in it. Will you marry me and spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Oh my god…Sean,” I mumbled, my voice cracking. I tried my best to keep my tears from falling, but they did anyway. I fell to my knees next to him and threw my arms around his neck, “Of course I will!”

Sean pressed his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around my waist. I kissed him a few more times as I wiped the tears off my face, “I love you so much Sean. I can’t believe this is even happening to me.”

I was only twenty-one years old. I never expected my life to begin so quickly. I understood that people that married that young were doomed to fail, but I had high hopes in my future with Sean. I loved him with every bit of my heart and I was thrilled that he’d asked me to marry him. To be honest, I never expected to even have the desire to get married and have a family of my own. But here I was getting married. The rest I would worry about when it came time to worry about it.

The next day, Jordan called me and asked me to drive her to the hospital so she could visit Aria because her stupid, abusive, borderline pedophile husband was working that day and couldn’t take her. I didn’t know when there would be an appropriate time to give her the news. It seemed kind of rude in a way. She’s living in hell with her asshole husband and daughter that might die and hey Jordan I’m getting married to the love of my life, be my maid of honor will ya? Oh god…

I pulled up to her driveway and honked for her. After a few minutes, she emerged from the house, looking like she’d dressed to impress. I hadn’t seen her look like that in awhile. And she seemed oddly cheerful. She got into the car with a grin, “Hi Amy.”

“Hi…” I replied awkwardly, “You’re in a good mood. Did your husband get into a fatal car accident or something?”

“No,” she replied, giving me a tiny frown, “Can’t I be in a good mood today for no particular reason?”

Not when you’ve had how many emotional breakdowns in the past two years I thought to myself. Instead of saying that to her, I shrugged as I backed out of the driveway, “I guess so. Since you’re in such a good mood, I guess this is the right time to tell you…”

“Tell me what?” she asked, “Is it bad?”

“No, no!” I exclaimed, “It’s the complete opposite. It’s amazing news.”

“Well then tell me!” she shouted, smacking my arm.

“Sean proposed to me last night,” I said quickly. Jordan gasped and she sat there for a minute with her mouth open in shock.

“Holy shit Amy, that’s amazing!” she squealed.

“And I have something I wanna ask,” I said, “I’d like it if you were my maid of honor. Well matron of honor. I know you have a lot to deal with and you probably don’t have the time to do all the things the maid of honor does, like planning the shower and-“

“Amy stop,” Jordan chuckled, “It doesn’t matter what’s going on with me. You’ve asked me to do it and I will. You’re my best friend and I’d be happy to do this for you. Is Sam going to be a bridesmaid?”

“Of course,” I said, “You guys are my best friends.”

After that lovely, slightly cheesy moment, we got to the hospital. As we walked down the hall to where Aria was, Jordan said, “Have you picked a date yet?”

“Not really,” I said, “I want a spring wedding though, I know that much!”

“Of course,” Jordan laughed, rolling her eyes as she went into the room where Aria was. I decided not to go into the room with her. That was her daughter, she needed her time alone with her. I instead decided to walk around. Jordan didn’t intend on staying that long, what was left of her sanity couldn’t bear seeing her daughter in such a condition. So we left after a few minutes and I dropped her back off at her house.

“You gonna be ok?” I asked softly, noticing how her mood had dropped, creating an uncomfortable energy floating around in my car.

“I’ll be fine,” she said. She grabbed the handle but hesitated for a moment. I used to be able to read her so well but right now, she was just a big mystery to me. The wheels were turning in her head but god help me I had no clue what was going through her mind. She finally opened the door and got out, slamming it without saying anything else to me. I waited as I always did, feeling obligated to. Like I needed to run inside in case she needed me. She went inside and it was silent. I sighed and backed out of the driveway, heading home.

As I headed towards my apartment, I saw a figure sitting next to my front door. At first I thought it was Sean. But then again, it wasn’t really like him to just show up unannounced. Still, I was always happy to see Sean. As I got closer, the figure began to look like him less and less. I slowed my pace, confused as to who this guy was. He noticed my slow movement and he stood up, waving his arm over his head. I froze, unsure of what to do. I could run but if I did, by the looks of him, he could catch up before I could get anywhere.

“Amy!” he exclaimed. I recognized that voice anywhere. I sighed and grabbed my chest, feeling my heart pounding against it. It seems my heart was able to resume beating.

“Peter!” I shouted back. I didn’t really know how I should greet him. He opened his arms enthusiastically but I couldn’t offer him that much excitement when my arms limply hugged him back, “How have you been? It’s been awhile since I saw you last.”

He nodded, “Weren’t you going to college in San Francisco?”

“I decided to transfer back here,” I replied, “I didn’t like being away from family and I was coming here all the time anyway.”

“How is Jordan and everyone?” he asked. I licked my lips thoughtfully. There were so many ways to answer that question.

“Oh, everyone’s fine,” I murmured, “Jordan’s…fine. She, she uh…just had a baby.”

Peter blinked, doing the math in his head, “At 21? Doesn’t sound like something she’d do.”

“I know,” I bit my upper lip and nodded slowly, “That’s what went through my head when she told me.”

We shared an awkward silence, momentarily splitting it into fourths when one of my neighbors walked by with his little boy in his arms. He stared at us and quickly turned away, immediately feeling the discomfited atmosphere surrounding the two of us. After awhile, it felt kind of silly standing in the middle of my apartment complex in silence, “Do you wanna come inside? I’ll make you something to eat.”

I led him into the apartment, guilt eating away at my insides. This wasn’t technically cheating, right? I was just being polite by giving him a snack. Sean wouldn’t get upset by that…would he? My engagement ring began to feel heavy on my finger as I set down a bowl of chips in front of him.

“So, what brings you here?” I asked. He sat down on my couch and plucked a single chip from the top of the pile.

“I really wanted to see you,” he muttered, “I missed you.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything. His eyes lowered a bit and I knew I’d truly disappointed him by not saying it back. I opened my mouth to talk, but he quickly overpowered me, “You’re still seeing Sean?”

I nodded, “We need to get this out of the way Peter. You can’t be coming around here unannounced like this. From now on, if you’re gonna come over here, call. But…don’t come over here anymore.”

Peter’s drooping eyes reminded me of a sad, rejected puppy when you stuck it outside in the rain, “Why? Am I not allowed to see you anymore?”

“Well, Peter I would love to hang out with you but you want to hang out with me in a way I can’t,” I said, wondering if I’d made any sense at all, “You have this plan of winning me back and I’d already told you once before, it’s not gonna happen.”

Peter was silent so I decided to add one more thing, “I’m engaged Peter. Sean is going to be my husband and you can’t do anything about it. Ok? Just…move on. Whatever happened to Aubrey?”

Peter hung his head. I got the gist of what had happened without him having to say a damn thing. A part of me felt bad because that’s never fun for anyone, I would know. But at the same time, I felt an overwhelming urge to laugh. What goes around comes around, doesn’t it?

Before I could add anything else, he stood up and headed for the door. He grabbed the knob and turned his head, but didn’t look me in the eyes, “Congratulations.”

He opened the door, shuffling out and letting the door slowly close behind him. I’d never seen him so low before. But this needed to happen. He’d expected to waltz in here and tell me he was still in love with me. I knew Peter and I knew he probably had a speech written down somewhere that he’d been trying to memorize. He was sure I’d fall for him again but I wasn’t about to be dragged down into that mess again. Getting my heart broken once was enough. I doubted that Peter would’ve stayed with me for long anyway. That guy just couldn’t be alone. Regardless of his feelings for me, I’m done with that chapter of my life.