Status: I started this story years ago when I was young and I'm too far now to start over. So bear with me hahaha! I added some inside jokes I should not have added. I apologize in advance hahaha!
Love Song
Chapter 48: I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones, Enough to make my system blow
Jordan
Sunday, March 9
What a crazy year. I hadn’t expected Amy to actually tell Sean what she had done. And I definitely didn’t expect Sean to get angry and leave her. Sean was always sweet and gentle, didn’t get angry very much. But I guess it takes that one special situation. And at first, I was very irritated and uncomfortable by Josh’s new relationship with Amy. But I figured, neither one of them were hurting anyone anymore so I learned to live with it. We managed to finish our album and tour for the summer. Being away from Ryan for the entire summer was liberating. All of us were back to our old selves again. But we had to come back home in September and as soon as I walked through my front door, my routine returned. Ryan would be happy with me for a week and something would set him off and he was horrible for two weeks. Aria was starting to walk and talk and there was more noise than Ryan was used to and I could see the patience melting away slowly. He never did hurt her though, not when I was around anyway. Aria’s second birthday party in February was more of a success than her first birthday. Ryan didn’t cause a scene this time around which was nice. I had turned twenty-four a little less than a week ago but this year would not be a lucky year for me. I only suffered a few slaps but the blow had caused me to fall and hit my head on the corner of my desk and had to get stitches. What a birthday. But five days had gone by and we hadn’t spoken much since that incident. The sight of him made my stitched up gash throb horribly.
I took a long shower that morning, careful to avoid getting hot water, soap or shampoo onto the still fresh wound. I got out of the shower and wrapped my robe around my damp body. I came out of the bedroom where Ryan was buttoning up his shirt. I could feel his eyes on me while I searched for clothes in my closet. I quickly grabbed a flannel shirt and jeans and hurried back into the bathroom just to get his eyes off me. I quickly put my clothes on and came back out and grabbed my brush. After almost a year, it was a little bit past my shoulders now but still had a long way to go before it was anything like before. I brushed my wet hair back and looked through my jewelry box to find my earrings. Once I had them on, I felt Ryan’s hands run up my back and stop at my shoulders. He squeezed my shoulders and bent down so we could both look into the little mirror on my jewelry box.
“Ryan, where’s Aria?” I asked, hoping the question would make him leave to check on her and maybe it would distract him for the rest of the day.
“Aria is napping,” Ryan kissed my neck behind my ear and started massaging my shoulders, “She’ll be fine.”
The gash on my forehead started throbbing again and I groaned, my fingers hovering over the wound, “Ryan, I…I don’t think this is a good time. Please.”
Ryan ignored my pleas as his hand moved from my shoulders to the buttons on my shirt. He undid one button at a time, moving slowly to torture me. He kissed up and down my neck as he did so. When he undid the last button, he pulled my shirt back off my shoulders and it slid down my arms, pooling at my feet. His hands moved down my stomach to my jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them and pulling them down, “This won’t take long at all Jordan.”
Ryan grabbed my arms and threw me onto our bed. I let out a cry as I stumbled and fell onto my back. Ryan slid his hands under my back and unhooked my bra.
“Ryan, please stop!” I cried. I gave him one big shove and he actually stumbled a little. He glared and raised his hand, backhanding me. I cried into my hands, “Please Ryan. Please.”
He continued touching me and undressing me along with himself and by then I was completely numb to it. I just lied limp on my bed and let him do what he was going to do. I could feel his body grinding against mine and I knew at this point it would be over in a few minutes. I just closed my eyes and let him move me into different positions, let him kiss me and touch me even though every touch and every kiss would make me wanna shrivel up and die. Finally he let me fall onto my stomach on our bed but I didn’t get up. I heard him put his clothes back on and leave me alone in the room. That’s how it always was. Always.
I finally got up once I heard Aria fussing in the next room. I got dressed again and smoothed my wet hair and went into Aria’s bedroom. I wiped the dry tears off my cheeks while I smiled and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. I sat in the rocking chair and rocked with her, not trying to get her to go to sleep, just trying to get a few quiet moments with my daughter.
Sunday, March 9
What a crazy year. I hadn’t expected Amy to actually tell Sean what she had done. And I definitely didn’t expect Sean to get angry and leave her. Sean was always sweet and gentle, didn’t get angry very much. But I guess it takes that one special situation. And at first, I was very irritated and uncomfortable by Josh’s new relationship with Amy. But I figured, neither one of them were hurting anyone anymore so I learned to live with it. We managed to finish our album and tour for the summer. Being away from Ryan for the entire summer was liberating. All of us were back to our old selves again. But we had to come back home in September and as soon as I walked through my front door, my routine returned. Ryan would be happy with me for a week and something would set him off and he was horrible for two weeks. Aria was starting to walk and talk and there was more noise than Ryan was used to and I could see the patience melting away slowly. He never did hurt her though, not when I was around anyway. Aria’s second birthday party in February was more of a success than her first birthday. Ryan didn’t cause a scene this time around which was nice. I had turned twenty-four a little less than a week ago but this year would not be a lucky year for me. I only suffered a few slaps but the blow had caused me to fall and hit my head on the corner of my desk and had to get stitches. What a birthday. But five days had gone by and we hadn’t spoken much since that incident. The sight of him made my stitched up gash throb horribly.
I took a long shower that morning, careful to avoid getting hot water, soap or shampoo onto the still fresh wound. I got out of the shower and wrapped my robe around my damp body. I came out of the bedroom where Ryan was buttoning up his shirt. I could feel his eyes on me while I searched for clothes in my closet. I quickly grabbed a flannel shirt and jeans and hurried back into the bathroom just to get his eyes off me. I quickly put my clothes on and came back out and grabbed my brush. After almost a year, it was a little bit past my shoulders now but still had a long way to go before it was anything like before. I brushed my wet hair back and looked through my jewelry box to find my earrings. Once I had them on, I felt Ryan’s hands run up my back and stop at my shoulders. He squeezed my shoulders and bent down so we could both look into the little mirror on my jewelry box.
“Ryan, where’s Aria?” I asked, hoping the question would make him leave to check on her and maybe it would distract him for the rest of the day.
“Aria is napping,” Ryan kissed my neck behind my ear and started massaging my shoulders, “She’ll be fine.”
The gash on my forehead started throbbing again and I groaned, my fingers hovering over the wound, “Ryan, I…I don’t think this is a good time. Please.”
Ryan ignored my pleas as his hand moved from my shoulders to the buttons on my shirt. He undid one button at a time, moving slowly to torture me. He kissed up and down my neck as he did so. When he undid the last button, he pulled my shirt back off my shoulders and it slid down my arms, pooling at my feet. His hands moved down my stomach to my jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them and pulling them down, “This won’t take long at all Jordan.”
Ryan grabbed my arms and threw me onto our bed. I let out a cry as I stumbled and fell onto my back. Ryan slid his hands under my back and unhooked my bra.
“Ryan, please stop!” I cried. I gave him one big shove and he actually stumbled a little. He glared and raised his hand, backhanding me. I cried into my hands, “Please Ryan. Please.”
He continued touching me and undressing me along with himself and by then I was completely numb to it. I just lied limp on my bed and let him do what he was going to do. I could feel his body grinding against mine and I knew at this point it would be over in a few minutes. I just closed my eyes and let him move me into different positions, let him kiss me and touch me even though every touch and every kiss would make me wanna shrivel up and die. Finally he let me fall onto my stomach on our bed but I didn’t get up. I heard him put his clothes back on and leave me alone in the room. That’s how it always was. Always.
I finally got up once I heard Aria fussing in the next room. I got dressed again and smoothed my wet hair and went into Aria’s bedroom. I wiped the dry tears off my cheeks while I smiled and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. I sat in the rocking chair and rocked with her, not trying to get her to go to sleep, just trying to get a few quiet moments with my daughter.
♠ ♠ ♠
I got lazy so I skipped...basically a year hahaha. About 11 months ;) kind of a filler but it leads to some good stuff haha. Still trying to think of what to do with Amy......this might take awhile LOLJordan's outfit for...well some of the chapter....