Love Song

Jordan

Wednesday, November 26

I got a call around six thirty in the morning from Josh frantically telling me Zakk was taken to the hospital after passing out at the bar while celebrating Harrison’s recent engagement. He’d told me to grab Amy on my way because she’d been calling him all night and he knew she was expecting the worst.

“What happened?” Amy asked as I rushed her out of her house and into the car. I wasn’t really able to answer because I was trying to concentrate on just getting to the hospital. Amy grabbed my hands and squeezed them, “Jordan, relax. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”

“I only know what Josh told me,” I said, “Zakk just tipped over and passed out while they were out and he wasn’t breathing. Josh managed to get him breathing a little bit by the time the ambulance came.”

Amy had calmed me down considerably and I was able to drive all the way to the hospital without killing the two of us. Josh was waiting outside the hospital when we arrived and I started walking a little faster, throwing my arms around his neck. I knew from the start Josh was perfectly fine but seeing him for some reason just made me really happy, “Have you heard anything?”

Josh shook his head as he rubbed my back, “No. It’s been hours. I didn’t want to bring you down here in the middle of the night. That’s why I waited until there was at least a little light out.”

Amy and I followed Josh into the hospital and he took us up to the second floor. Zakk’s parents, Harrison, and Holly were sitting in the hallway. When Zakk’s parents saw me, they both gave me a hug and then Harrison. But Holly remained separated from our group. I wasn’t sure if it was because she wasn’t close to any of us or because she didn’t care. Either way, I didn’t want her here.

“How long have you guys been waiting?” Amy asked.

“A few hours,” Harrison replied with a sigh, “I really hope he’s ok. I didn’t think he’d react to a few beers like that.”

“Did you see how many he had?” I inquired, “Maybe it’s alcohol poisoning or something.”

“I don’t know,” Josh mumbled, “Zakk seemed off before he even started drinking. I hope we get some answers.”

“I just want him to be ok,” I mumbled, “I don’t even care about answers.”

After a few minutes more of waiting, a doctor came around the corner and was headed for Zakk’s room but stopped when he saw the group of us outside his door, “You’re Zakk Grant’s family?”

We all nodded and got onto our feet to hear what the doctor had to say, “Well Zakk’s fine now. He’s breathing normal and isn’t in any immediate danger at the moment.”

“Do you know how he ended up here in the first place?” Zakk’s father asked.

“We found high amounts of Vicodin in his system,” the doctor explained, “We gave it to him two years ago after a car accident but there’s no way he’d still need it.”

I clenched my fists and looked down at the floor. I knew it had been wrong to believe Zakk. I shouldn’t have let him keep them. If I had taken them away from him, he wouldn’t have almost died last night. I stepped forward and stood next to Zakk’s parents, “Can we see him now?”

The doctor let us all into Zakk’s room. He was lying in bed looking incredibly tired and he could see it in our faces that we had just learned his secret. The doctor checked up on him and then left us alone with him. I was the first to speak up, “I can’t believe you looked me in the eye and lied to me. You’ve been lying to all of us.”

“This could’ve killed you Zakk,” his mother’s normally stern voice began to crack and she covered her mouth.

“You were lucky this time,” Zakk’s father added, “But now we have to focus on getting you better. You need help.”

“I don’t need help,” Zakk crossed his arms and turned his head, refusing to look at any of us, “I know a few people in this room that need help more than I do.”

Zakk first turned his head to make eye contact with Josh, which made Josh start to fidget and shift his weight back and forth, which made Amy grab loop her arms through his. Once Zakk had burned a hole in Josh, his brown eyes moved straight to me, going from my eyes to my belly and then back to my eyes. I put my hands on my stomach and turned away. Zakk was right. I needed help and I wasn’t sure Josh could manage his problem with simple will power. I turned on my heel and quickly left the room before I really got angry. When I came back into the hallway, Holly was standing by the door, leaning against the wall.

“Aren’t you gonna go see him?” I said.

“I’m waiting so I can be alone with him,” Holly replied.

“Did you know about his addiction?” I inquired. Holly shrugged her shoulder while smacking on her gum, totally unfazed and uninterested, “I guess I did.”

“And you didn’t try to stop him?” I paused and rubbed the bridge of my nose, “He could’ve overdosed, Holly! Didn’t you care?”

“But he never did,” Holly replied coolly, “Besides, he wasn’t hurting anybody so why stop him?”

“You enabled him!” I shouted, “He’s hurting himself, Holly! You’re toxic! He doesn’t need you around!”

Holly grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me against the wall, something that’s happened to me hundreds of times before and my reaction never changed. I lowered myself to the ground even though crouching was difficult and slightly uncomfortable now but I did it anyway. Holly immediately took a step back and looked at me with disgust, “What’s wrong with you?”

Josh came out and saw Holly standing over me and shoved her hard and knelt down beside me, “What the hell did you do to my sister?!”

“Nothing!” Holly exclaimed, her heels making it hard for her to regain her balance after being pushed, “By the way Jordan, what Zakk doesn’t need in his life is you. You’re just as much to blame for this as I am.”

I buried my face in Josh’s leather jacket and sobbed heavily into it, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist as Holly walked away. Josh let me get out my tears and he sat with me in the middle of the hallway even though I’m sure it earned us a few stares from people passing by. But at the moment, I just didn’t care. Too much happened in an hour to care about what people thought.