When You're Around

I think you should look forward to a little person walking around here soon Lou texted as I walked with Jackson to meet up with Kellan and his friend Ashley. I stopped walking and stared at the message, shocked because I hadn’t even told her that I was worried about being pregnant. My hand disconnected with Jackson’s and I slowed down my walking pace. I didn’t know whether or not to ask her what she was talking about or ask her how she found out. Jackson turned around with an assuring smile on his face and wrapped his arm around my waist. When he did so, the paparazzi following us started snapping even more pictures and yelling questions at us like madmen; well, even madder than they already were. “Are you nervous or something? You’ve been acting weird for the past week.”

I swallowed my worries and nodded my head into his chest, “Can I ask you something about that night?”

Jackson looked around before pulling my hand and taking me into the building we were going to meet his friends in. After walking to the corner of the Starbucks and sitting in a quiet booth, Jackson looked up at me with worried eyes. It was almost as if he had been bothered by something as well, “Are you going to tell me you had something I could catch?”

We stared at each other for a couple of seconds; he was worried and I was just wide-eyed. I shook my head slowly and held my hand over my racing heart, “You’re only the second person I’ve ever been with and even the first one only had sex with me while we were together. My first was my only and I was his, so don’t fret over disease because I’m cleaner than most.”

He let out a relieved breath, but turned serious, “So what’s wrong? Do you think we moved too fast? Too slow?”

I laughed and shook my head, “I don’t care about any of that because, honestly, I think you’re one of the few guys who don’t actually stop a relationship after sex. But I’m worried about” –I stopped and contemplated whether or not to tell him- “did you u-“

“Sorry we’re late,” I heard a female voice say by our table, “We couldn’t find a space on the block so Kell decided to park three blocks away.”

Kellan laughed and sat down next to me, “It was the only open space I could find” –he looked at me and grinned- “Ew, what the hell is this French thing doing here?”

I slapped his shoulder and laughed, “At least this thing looks better than you! I don’t remember who was voted number 9 in People’s Hottest Celebrities? The French girl or the American ass?” I watched Kellan stick his tongue out like a child and smiled triumphantly. I turned to Ashley and stuck my hand out, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jackson hasn’t stopped talking about how-“

“-well we’d get along?” She giggled while taking my hand and shaking it, “Same here, only he goes on about how beautiful you are.”

I looked over at him and he looked a bit flustered. The rest of the coffee date went by really well, and when it was time for all of us to go our separate ways I took as long as I could parting from my new friend, Ashley. In the end, Jackson reminded us that we could exchange numbers and hang out anytime we wanted.

The ride home started out carefree until Jackson brought up the thing I dreaded, “So what were you about to ask me?”

“I forgot to tell you I’m not on any form of birth control because you were my first in three years,” I explained, avoiding his eye contact because I felt a little stupid, “so I was just wondering if you used protection or something because I’m not really big on having children at this point in time.”

It got quiet, and as each second went the nerves in my hand went even more berserk. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and, to top it all off, flutters were felt in my stomach causing everything to feel worse than it really was. The feeling was awful, and it took a lot of willpower for me not to cry because I really believed he hadn’t used a condom.

“So you think you’re pregnant then?” Jackson’s voice was quiet, and he looked at me with emotionless eyes as I nodded. Then, he broke out in a grin and shook his head, “Nah, that can’t be. I made sure I used protection.”

I glared at him, and if he hadn’t had been driving I would have punched him, “That was not funny!”

He laughed and drove through the gate the blocked my apartment building’s parking lot from the rest of the world, “It wasn’t, but the look on your face was funny.”

My heart had yet to calm down from the sick joke Jackson had played. I crossed my arms and glared out the window until Jackson was parked and looking at the side of my head. His hand found mine somehow and pulled it up to his lips. The touch of his soft peckers against my skin sent tingles up my arm and I tried not to crumble under his touch; which I was finder rather difficult.

“Belle,” he whispered into my hand, causing even more electrical jolts to shoot up my resistant body, “I’m sorry, baby” –he kissed higher up my arm- “I didn’t mean to upset you” –he was leaning over and pressing his lips against my ear- “how can I make it up to you?”

I turned to face him and looked into his shining eyes, “Don’t do this to me,” I begged, not liking the feeling in my core. Me and Jackson hadn’t had sex since our date that night, and the heat behind his gaze was enough to show me it was past due. After a couple of seconds I crashed my lips against his briefly before forcing myself away, “My room. Now.”

Jackson lay sleeping as I threw on a pair of panties and an overgrown shirt that reached my mid-thigh. When I walked out of my room, I walked across the hall and into Lou’s where she sat reading over a document on her computer. I sat on her bed and crossed my legs, “What did you mean earlier?”

“The text I sent you?” she turned around and pulled her glasses to the top of her head. She watched me nod and grinned, “Sabine and Sam are expecting.”

That couldn’t be true, my mom was over forty and I had figured she already reached menopause. Besides, she wasn’t in love with Sam… was she?

“But let’s not go into that until she feels ready enough to tell us personally,” Lou said, walking over to her door and shutting it. She turned around and crossed her arms, “I think it’s about time to tell you off Ms. I-have-a-boyfriend-and-I’m-going-to-sleep-with-him-while-my-sexually-frustrated-friend-is-in-the-house.”

I grinned, “Don’t be jealous. You know I love you and all, but I have needs and urges and finally I have someone to release all this pent up energy. I have an audition next week and a couple of interviews before meeting with Gretta to go over some other media crap.”

Gretta was my manager and agent.

“Do you have to make sure I hear you scream and shit?”

“That was only for show,” I whispered, while standing up and walking over to her dresser to mess with her things, “I was getting you back for all those times I had to endure you and Rob. Speaking of which, I’m going to strangle if he doesn’t flush the toilet if he uses it. There’s only one bathroom here and he’s abusing our hospitality.” –I looked back at her- “I’ll make it up to you for being obnoxious tomorrow; just you, me, and Walt.”

“No Jamie?” Lou sounded too happy

I shook my head, “I’m not really fond of her at the moment, after the other night I’d be happy if I don’t see her for a while. Jeez, if the woman wants paparazzi attention she should make a fucking sex tape or something.”

“Exactly!”

I laughed once again and walked over to Lou’s door, “Now I’m going to call my mom and question her about her private life until she tells me every detail.”

“Wait, Belle,” Lou called. I turned around and she smirked, “did you ask him?”

“Ask who what?” I questioned, not really sure on what Lou was talking about.

“Did you ask Jackson if he used a raincoat before entering the storm?”

It took me a while to understand what she was talking about, but when she did I was shocked as to how she found out. I hadn’t told anyone about my worries over Jackson, “Have you been going through my shit?”

She nodded and held up the box my pills came in, “I heard the reports, and when you didn’t drink at the bar that night I knew they hit home. So, I waited until you were out to find out if you did anything about it, and” –she shook the box- “I found these babies.”

“You’re completely unhinged,” I whispered while shaking my head, “Why do I hang out with you?”

“It’s what lovers do,” she said, putting the empty box in her garbage bin and sitting back down, “and you can’t survive without me.”

I shrugged, “That is true."