I've Hoped For Change, It Gets Better Everyday

“Now why did I have to come over so quickly?” I asked. I was being dragged into Alex’s room by Lisa. For such a petite girl, she had quite enough strength. “What’s going on?”

We stopped suddenly and I was pushed rather roughly into the room, the door slamming shut behind me followed by a strange scraping noise. “What the-”

Jack was sitting on the bed. I turned around and pulled the door open only to be greeted by the back end of a tall bookshelf. “Oh you have got to be kidding me…”

“What are you doing here?” Jack looked confused; so was I. I was about to answer when Alex’s voice drifted over the shelf.

“We’re not moving this until you fix everything!”

I groaned. “No, let me out now! So. Help. Me. God!” I kicked the bookshelf to emphasize my point, only injuring my foot in the process; It was a heavy bookshelf. How they’d managed to move it was beyond me. They obviously had planned this very well. “Ow, goddamn it!” I let myself fall to the floor and try to ignore the aching pain in my foot.

Jack was stifling a laugh. I shot him a warning look. “Shut up. We’re not talking.” I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall.

“How long do you think it’s gonna take?” Lisa whispered.

“I don’t know… hopefully not long. I forgot to get my stuff.” Alex whispered back.

“I can hear you and you suck!” I slammed the door shut again. I knew I was acting like a five-year-old, but I so did not want to be locked into a room with Jack Barakat. I looked at the window across from me and realized they clearly hadn’t thought this through. A smile broke out onto my face as I stood up.

“What are you doing?” Jack asked as I neared the window and tried to slide it open.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I grunted as pushed against the frame; it budged slightly. “I’m getting out of here.”

“Even if you manage to open that window, we’re on the second story. How are you going to get down?” Jack was now standing next to me, watching my feeble attempts to open the window. It was practically nailed shut.

I shrugged. “I’ll get there when I get there.” I shoved against the window again, only making it shake slightly. I was already breaking a sweat. I needed to go with Adam to the gym more often.

“Move,” Jack demanded. I glared at him for a moment before moving out of the way. He gripped the window framed and pushed, opening it with ease.

I stared incredulously at him. “How did you do that?”

Jack merely shrugged and looked out the window. “Now what?”

I joined him reluctantly, not wanting to be near him yet needing to see what he was seeing. Alex’s room had a fantastic view, but that was about it. The trees in his yard were too far away to climb onto and the drainpipe was nowhere near us.

“Fantastic,” I muttered. Okay, so maybe Lisa and Alex had thought this through.

“Look, let’s just chill out and relax. We just have to stay here until Alex needs in, then we’ll overtake him and run for it,” Jack reasoned.

I sighed. “It’s not like I have much of a choice.” I sat down against the door again.

“That’s the spirit,” Jack muttered sarcastically. “What happened with us?”

I didn’t look up at him, instead inspecting my nail polish; I needed to repaint them. I wondered what color for a moment, trying to ignore Jack’s question because I didn’t really have an answer.

“So you’re gonna ignore me?” Jack sighed. I shrugged at him.

“I don’t have an answer. I don’t know what happened with us.”

“I want to be friends. Why can’t we be friends?” Jack sat across from me, a move I hadn’t expected.

“You know why,” I replied lowly. I was getting uncomfortable with this situation.

“No, Abs, I don’t. I don’t get why you’re making this harder than it needs to be. We were best friends at some point and now, you hate me. And I don’t get why.”

“You don’t get why? Are you serious? Do I have to spell it out for you? I liked you Jack, so much. I would’ve done anything for you. And you knew it, so you took advantage of that. You’d make me feel special one second and then make me feel like shit the next. I figured your whole ‘I’m not ready for a girlfriend’ mantra was something you’d get over.” I sighed and lowered my voice. “I guess I figured that somehow, I’d actually be good enough for you to give me a chance. I thought it was you just being you. I didn’t think there was something wrong with me…”

Jack’s expression was a mix of understanding and apologetic empathy. “Abby, that’s not… I mean, I just don’t see you that way. It’s not that there’s something wrong with you, nothing’s wrong. I just sincerely thought I wasn’t ready until I met Linda.”

I scoffed. “Then what does she have that I don’t?”

Jack looked at the ground, frustrated that I wasn’t giving in easily. “You’re my friend Abby. I’m sorry but that’s all you’ll be.”

I nodded. “So, there’s nothing wrong with me? You just don’t like me?”

“Well I like you, as a friend…” Jack trailed off. I smiled sincerely at him for the first time in weeks.

“You know what I mean.”

“No, Abs. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

I repeated our conversation over and over in my head again. It still stung, but I had to get it through my head that Jack and I, we didn’t belong together. Not the way I’d wanted at least. It took everything I had to convince myself that I was not in love with Jack, but it got easier once we actually talked it out. Linda and I, though, we weren’t going to make up anytime soon. I couldn’t get over how evil she’s been, and I was sure she wouldn’t forgive me for my childish actions.

I had to thank Alex and Lisa for their hand in my and Jack’s reconciliation. But, I would get them back.

They still weren’t off the hook.

~*~

Jack found me at my locker the next day.

“Hey, so are we like, okay?” he asked.

“Uh, well, yes and no,” I replied. I shut my locker. “I mean, yeah we’re okay, but give me some time to get used to the idea that we’re friends.”

We walked down the hall. “So we’re okay, but not like we used to be?” Jack matched his steps to mine, seeing as I was the shorter one.

“Yeah, it’s mainly me, but we’re okay…. We’re friends Jack.” I smiled. “Again.”

He returned my smile. “Cool. So uh whatever happened with you and Zack?”

“Nothing, we’re friends.” I shrugged. “I actually don’t know where we are right now.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“Just wondering is all. It’d be weird to see you with him.” Jack mused.

“Yeah, just about as weird as you and my cousin.” I shot back. Darn it, I shouldn’t have said that. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you at lunch.” Jack turned to the left and walked down the hall to his math class.

“Sorry.” I muttered to no one in particular. This transition period would be awkward and long; I could feel it.