When I Go, Bring Me Back Again

The ride to my house was nerve wrecking. During lunch I had invited Gerard over to watch some movies and he had agreed. The other day when I had mentioned that I needed to talk to my Mom, I wasn’t kidding. But I had missed every chance that had come up and now I had no choice. Because I had told her before, before all of this going back in time, that I was gay. She had accepted it perfectly well then, and had even figured out that I had liked Gerard. But now I had to tell her again, only this time Gerard was still alive.
“Frank, are you getting out?” Mikey laughed from beside me. I looked up and gasped.
“Oh! Sorry, yeah. Um thanks for the ride. I’ll see you later then?” I looked over at Gerard as I got out, he nodded as Mikey climbed to the front seat.
“Mkay, see yea.” I stated and headed up to my front door. I opened it up and dropped my bag on the floor.
“Ma! Where are you!?” I shouted shutting the door.
“No need to yell, I’m in the kitchen!” she replied, just as loud might I add. I walked in and found her drinking coffee.
“Can I talk to you real quick?” I was nervous, but not nearly as nervous as I had been the first time.
“Yeah, what is it?” she sat down the mug and looked over at me. I sat down on the stool at the counter and cleared my throat.
“I um... I’m gay.” she looked at me for a few moments.
“It’s that boy you pick on isn’t it?”
“Y-yeah. How did you know?” she just laughed shaking her head.
“Because, picking on someone means you like them. Or you’re jealous of them, but seeing as you just told me that you’re gay, I just put two and two together.”
“So you’re not upset or disappointed?” she laughed again.
“Frank sweetheart, when you were younger you would dress in drag and put lipstick on. I always kind of knew, but I guess that I was just waiting for you to confirm it. So no, I’m not upset or disappointed. You are who you are and I’m okay with that.” she smiled softly before getting up to put her mug in the sink.
“He’s coming over. I invited him earlier today.” she turned around and nodded.
“What are you two going to do?”
“Watch movies.” she nodded once again.
“Well then, I will see you in the morning. Just because it’s Friday does not mean I want you staying up till four in the morning. You need sleep young man.” she stated before kissing my forehead and grabbed her purse and went to leave but stopped.
“And another thing, I want to make sure that nothing else will be going on.”
“Mom! No! He doesn’t even know I like him. God Mom.” I blushed and slapped my hand to my forehead. She just laughed waving and walked out. I sighed shaking my head. I can’t believe she thought we were going to do something. Although, I wouldn’t mind do some of those things with him. I wouldn’t mind at all.

The door bell rang and I climbed over the couch, almost falling, and ran towards the door. I opened it up to see him standing there in the same clothes from earlier. He looked and noticed that I had changed.
“Why are you in different clothes?”
“These are more comfortable, come in.” I stated standing back and allowed him to walk in. I shut the door behind him, locking it and stood there awkwardly and he noticed it.
“I’m making you uncomfortable. I’ll go if you want.”
“No!... I mean, I’m just not used to really having anyone over. Mikey does every now and then, but that’s it. I’m used to going to other peoples houses. But that doesn’t matter, come on. You get to pick out the first movie,” I grabbed his arm and led him into the living room and opened up the cabinet filled with records and movies.
“Wow,” he stated looking at the records.
“My Mom collects them. I do too, but it’s not the same type of music. A lot of the horror movies are up in my room. Most of these are all Tv series that Mom is obsessed with.” he nodded looking over the movies. After a few minutes he looked at me with a frown.
“What kind of horror movies do you have up in your room?”
“Come with me.” I nodded towards the stairs and he followed me up. I opened up my bedroom door and turned on my light.
“Again, wow. You uh really like music don’t you?” he asked looking at my walls. They were covered in posters. From bands like Iron Maiden, Smashing Pumpkins, Social Distortion, Green Day, and the Misfits.
“Most definitely, more like I live by it. So my movies are on the shelf there.” I stated pointing at it. He walked over and began to look through them while I plopped down on my bed.
“So, are you going to?” I asked referring to the letter I had left in his locker today. I had asked him if I could borrow one of his sketch books to look at.
“I don’t know.” I could hear the frown.
“Why not?” I sat up on my elbows. He shrugged and continued to look.
“Well I don’t know who the person is. So what if I dropped off the sketchbook and they took it and only laughed at it. Or worse, destroyed it.” he stated.
“I thought we agreed you would go along with this though?” he nodded and then turned towards me with a movie. I could already tell it was ‘Night of the Living Dead’.
“Good choice, do you want to stay up here or go down there?” he just shrugged.
“Well then pop it in, I’m not moving,” I stated falling back down on my bed.
“When you’re done you may join me, just don’t forget the remote next to the tv.” a few minutes later he was sitting down next to me and I had a really bad urge to cuddle with him. It was depressing really.

At the end of the movie I got up from my spot and popped it out before going to my shelf and choosing another. It was hard deciding as I looked at the titles. I had watched all of them so many times, it was hard to choose. Finally I gave up and sighed.
“Gerard what do you want to watch, I can’t choose.” I looked over at him.
“I don’t know, pick something different.” I nodded looking back at the titles.
“Different,” I mumbled, my eyes landing on one that made me grin.
“Well this is different.” I put it in and pressed play before collapsing next to him.
“What did you choose?” I looked over at him.
“A movie that’s different.” as soon as the previews were over and the movie started he just laughed.
“What?” I looked at him.
“Pride and Prejudice, really?”
“Hey, you said different. And I will say that this is different.” I defended, he shrugged.
“You’re right, but still. You’re retarded,” he stated.
“Well you knew what movie it was.” I stated proving another point.
“Well yeah because I read the book.”
“You’re calling me retarded, and you’ve read the book? Huh,” I looked back at the Tv. We both shut up after that and watched the movie. I hated to admit it, but it was one of my favorite movies. Not only was it romantic, but Mr. Darcy wasn’t that bad on the eyes. My favorite part is when Elizabeth found out that Darcy had talked Mr. Bingley into leaving because he found that her family, minus Elizabeth wasn’t good enough. How he followed her in the rain, and when they almost kissed, that was the moment right then and there. I loved how he asked her to marry him and she shot it right back in his face, but you could tell that she was torn. Having to choose between the happiness of her own sister and the man she was beginning to fall in love with. The other best scene was the ending, meeting in the early foggy morning and kissing just as the sun came up. Too bad that doesn’t happen in real life.

You sound like a fucking girl.

Really? You have to disturb me now of all times? When I’m actually alone with Gerard?

Just making a statement. Don’t get your boxers in a twist. God knows how bitchy you can get.

Well now that you’ve made your ‘statement’ do you mind leaving?

There was nothing after that and I focused back on the movie. However, in the back of my mind I was scratching to get closer to him. We were already so close, our arms were gently touching. With each brush of his skin against mine my mind grew mushy and I felt myself starting to relax even more into his touch, which of course to him was probably unconsciously done.
“Are you falling asleep Frank?” he looked down at me.
“No, why?” he just shrugged.
“Just checking.” and then his eyes were back on the tv. I looked back at the Tv and saw that it was the ending. I sighed watching them kiss and frowned, this only made Gerard laugh.
“What?” I looked up at him.
“Nothing, you just sounded jealous that it wasn’t you kissing her.” he stated before looking back at it.
“Eh, you’re right in a way.” it was more like I was jealous that I couldn’t kiss him like that right now.

We watched another movie, and even played some video games while we ate pizza that I had ordered. I don’t think either of us realized the time until the phone started ringing. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was after eleven.
“Crap, I bet your brother thinks I killed you.” Gerard's eyes held amusement as he drank the coffee that I had made. I picked up the phone and sat back down on the edge of the bed.
“Hello?”
“Um is Gerard still there?”
“Yes he is. Sorry, we didn’t pay attention to the time.”
“Ok, is he coming back home tonight?” I heard the Tv in the background.
“Well yeah if he wants too, I don’t care if he stays. Ask him,” I tossed the phone at Gerard while grabbing the empty pizza box and left the room to go throw it away. When I made it back up he had already hung up and was looking at the pictures on my wall.
“You’ve always been a little guy haven’t you?” he asked hearing me come in.
“Yep, I get it from my parents. They’re both pretty short people.” I replied walking over next to him. We talked for a while before watching another movie yet again, only this time it was my favorite, the Nightmare Before Christmas. But even though I was excited about watching it, I was out before it was half way over.

I woke up confused and warm. I couldn’t recall when I fell asleep, and I was uncomfortable in my clothes. But when I realized why I was so warm, I didn’t want to move. Somehow I had fallen asleep against him, with my head on his shoulder and he had fallen asleep against me, with his head rested on mine. But the tv was still on and I knew I wouldn’t get back to sleep so I slipped out from his body slowly, when I was up he sighed turning onto his side and buried his face into my pillow. He looked so fucking cute I just wanted to sit there and watch him the rest of the night. I turned it back off and climbed back onto my bed, I scooted over to him as close as I could, bumping him on accident. I rolled onto my side so I was face to face and gently brushed his fallen hair from his face. I wanted to take a picture, he looked so innocent and peaceful. How did I live so long with making him suffer, now the reason why wasn’t worthy of the sight before me. I traced his jaw slowly, afraid I was going to wake him up, but so addicted to the feeling of his pale smooth skin that I couldn’t stop. He was beautiful, and I would never forgive myself of what I had originally caused. The mere thought of his death was too painful for me still. Finally I was able to pull my fingertips away from his skin, but they only moved to his hair. It was so soft under my hand as I ran my fingers through it, only this time he moved under my touch. He pulled me closer to him, his arm snaking over my side and holding me closer. His legs tangled with mine, but he never woke up. I waited a few moments, my hand still in his hair before I was sure that he wouldn’t be waking and I removed my hand. I kissed his forehead softly and wrapped my arm back around him and soon fell into the happiest and most comfortable sleep I’d ever had.