When I Go, Bring Me Back Again

He stopped in front of me and sighed.
“Look I just... I was stupid.” he mumbled rubbing his hands together awkwardly.
“You ditched me numerous times, only to come to me and say that?” he looked up and shook his head.
“I... I was jealous. I mean he’s my brother, and you’re the guy who.... I snapped. It was fare to be jealous right? It was just confusing, at first you just wanted to be friends and then suddenly you know you’re saying that you love him and the question of how far is this going to go just comes to mind. Then finally I mean... it’s like he’s younger again and I see my brother, but he’s always gone. And when it was always with you, it pissed me off. It was annoying, and I’m rambling and I’m sorry. One moment I mean yeah I shoved you, and then all of a sudden you’re on the floor with a bloody head. I’m sorry Frank, you’re my best friend and I snapped. He just... all he would ever do was stay in his room, he never talked to any of us. Then suddenly, he’s smiling and he’s laughing. He comes to dinner with his head up, and my parents think that it’s some miracle that’s come out of nowhere. I feel like everything I’ve tried to do for years was a waste of time. Like suddenly you’re better than me and he’d rather hang out with you. It’s confusing Frank, I know it sounds stupid coming from me because you know... I tried to plan how I was going to explain myself but it’s gone to shit. But I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry and I didn’t mean to do that to you. I didn’t realize what I was doing until after wards.” by the time he was done he had moved his glasses eight times, shoved his hands into his pockets three times, and stumbled over his words countless times. He stood there staring at me with hopeful eyes and I nodded.
“I was never mad at you from the beginning you know? I tried telling you that, but you would always run off. I just wish you had just told me about feeling left out before that happened. Not because I got hurt, but I saw what it did to you when Gerard got mad at you. It was kind of like seeing a little kid watch his puppy die. Look, I’m not trying to come between you and your brother, it was never my intention and if it came off that way then I’m sorry. I know how you look up to him and how much you love him, he’s your older brother and I shouldn’t take him away from you like that. So, I’m sorry too.” a small smile came across his face.
“So, we’re cool?”
“Eh why not. We’re cool.” his face lit up and he attacked me. For such a skinny little thing he sure did have some strength.
“Can’t breathe well,” I choked as his grip tightened around my chest.
“Oh sorry. Didn’t mean to... you know.” he stated letting go and stepped back.
“No it’s cool. But um I do need to talk to your brother, I said something and it came off the wrong way so I need to go fix that. But um my house tonight? Both of you, okay?” I asked walking away.
“Uh yeah. Ok see you later then.” I grinned running towards the cafeteria doors when I realized I didn’t know what class he had. I stopped and turned looking to see that Mikey was still standing there.
“Mikey!” I shouted causing his head to snap in my direction.
“What class does he have?!” he scratched his head, squinting at the sun.
“Um art I think!” I gave him thumbs up and opened up the door going in and headed out of the cafeteria, only to be pushed into the wall.
“How’s it going buddy?” I looked and saw Thomas, wonderful. Behind him were the other guys that I used to hang out with.
“Good, but um yeah you kind of caught me at a bad time. I need to go to Art.” I went to leave but he pushed me back into the wall and smirked.
“Word has it you’ve been hanging out with that fag Way. What, you doing him or something?”
“No, fuck off man. We’re friends.”
“Ah, friends. Well around here it’s starting to look bad on us, because we used to associate with you. So, we thought seeing as we used to be buds, we’d give you a choice. You can go to that emo piece of shit Way and tell him to fuck off and make him cry his little heart out, or you can go to that fagot and be his little boyfriend and we’ll beat the shit out of you. Your choice.” I scanned all five of them knowing just what they could do and it wouldn’t be pretty.
“Well Iero?” I cleared my throat and rubbed my neck.
“Take your fucking shot then,” I stated. He shook his head before drawing his arm back and connecting his fist to the side of my face.

Gerard’s POV

I stopped what I was doing when I heard shouting coming from down the hall and left my seat. I walked out noticing a bunch of people standing in a circle. Curiosity got the best of me and I walked towards them seeing teachers breaking it up while they carried someone off and a student was holding onto Thomas, one of the football players.
“You, go to the office now. Mr. Toro, I thank you for stopping him when you did.” it was Ms. Butcher. I looked over at the guy with the insanely curly hair who had a busted lip.
“What happened?” he looked at me.
“Uh that Frank dude, they were fighting about you I think. You’re Gerard right?” I nodded.
“What do you mean they were fighting about me?” he wiped the blood off of his chin.
“I don’t know, when I showed up it was something about how he had a choice. It was either them or you, and he chose you so the busted him up. They took him to the nurses office though. I’m Ray by the way.” I nodded.
“Mr. Toro, we’re going to need you in the front office as well, to tell us what happened.” he nodded following Ms. Butcher and I strayed, not far behind stopping off at the nurses where I heard him whining.
“Don’t, that stings okay? I don’t like that. It’s fine, please just leave it alone.” I peered in and saw her pressing a cut on his eyebrow.
“You’re going to need stitches, is your Mom home so I can call her?” he shook his head wincing. I knocked causing them to both look over at me.
“Oh, Gerard dear, how are you?” I shrugged and she nodded.
“Just keep pressure on it while I go call your Mom Hun,” and she left the room. I walked in and he looked at me.
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you? Finally I’m in your position.” he winced pulling the rag away from his face and touched it with his hand.
“No, not really.” I sat on the bed next to him in silence for a few moments.
“I was going to come and apologize. You got the wrong idea Gerard, about what I said. Other people... I could care less.” he mumbled.
“I’m not mad at you, I just... I guess even though I tell myself to trust you I still try and find any excuse to not to. It’s just the way I am, I do it to everyone so don’t think that it’s just you. Here, look at me, you’re not doing what she said.” he turned to face me and I took the rag grimacing.
“He really beat the shit out of you didn’t he?”
“Well, I can’t really fight back.” I pressed it against his cut causing him to wince.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, he replied with a quiet ‘it’s okay’.
“Um, Ray told me about what happened.”
“Was he the one who took him off of me?” I nodded.
“What’d he say?”
“That they told you to chose between them and me, and that you chose me.”
“You sound surprised,” he winced again as I pulled it away and used it to wipe away the blood.
“Well yeah. I mean they were your friends for the longest time, and they threatened to beat you up.”
“You have a point, but they’re jerks.” I pulled it away looking at him.
“Yeah, but they beat the shit out of you.” he just rolled his eyes.
“Thanks, I’m glad I look like shit now,” it made me laugh.
“Still, you didn’t have to do that for me I mean. I’m used to things like that, I wouldn’t have thought of you any less.” I pressed it back and sighed.
“Well despite how much you believe you’re not worth crap, I happen to believe you’re worth all of those punches.” he finished off quietly looking down at his hands. It took me a moment to realize just what he said and it was a lot to take in. Nobody had ever been one to take shit just for me, but here he was all bloodied up and he didn’t care.
“Do you mean that?” I was hesitant to ask, afraid he would just laugh and call me a dumb ass.
“Of course I do Gee.” he smiled looking back up at me. I let my hand fall from it’s spot and I reached out pulling him towards me and rested my chin on his forehead in a hug.
“Thank you,” I whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like somebody other than my brother actually cared, I just hoped it was real.