Have We Gone Too Far?

When I woke up the next day and I was still shaking; I just couldn’t believe that I nearly killed myself. I was so stupid. There seriously must be something wrong with me. Why else would I do that?

“Morning,” mum chirped as she walked into my bedroom.

That was strange. Why would she come in to see me? What does she have planed?

I slowly sat up in my bed and started rubbing my eyes to adjust them to the light my dad had just turned on as he walked in and sat on my bed. Something must be wrong. My family are never like this.

A nervous feeling shot up my spine, maybe this is a trick. They’re planning to hurt me again, I know they are. I quickly cowered back under my covers to protect myself. I might be stupid at times but I know when I’m in danger, and this is definitely one of those times.

“Don't worry,” dad whispered. “We’re not here to hurt you.”

Famous last words: When someone tells you not to worry, you know something bad is about to happen. It’s plain fact that you don’t say something like that without wanting to cause some sort of panic.

“I was just wondering what you’ve been telling your teachers about us?” dad asked.

“Nothing,” I answered with ease. “I swear.”

“So...” dad shouted but mum cut him off.

“You don’t need to do this now, save that for later sweetie,” she said and then kissed him on his neck. Disgusting!

“Do you have to do that around me?”

They looked at each other and smiled, deciding to ignore my question.

“We need to tell you something,” they said together.

I stared at them both. This is too weird for me to handle. Just tell me!

“I'm pregnant,” mum cooed.

I glared at her. What did she just say? She’s pregnant? What the hell? She can’t seriously want to bring a child into this hell hole. They’ll just end up hurting it and ruining its life like they did to me. Bringing a child into this is just wrong.

“What?” I gasped.

“You’re going to have a baby brother or sister, Zack. Aren’t you excited?”

“No! It’s stupid! You can’t bring a kid into our family. You’ll end up treating it like you treat me!”

“Zack listen,” dad said putting his hand on my shoulder. “We’re going to make it up to you. We love you and we’ll definitely love this baby. We’d never hurt it.”

“But...”

“Drop it Zack,” mum hissed. “I'm not getting rid of this baby just because you’re jealous,” she shouted at me.

Jealous? Me? That’s it, why should I have to take this?

“Get out!” I shouted.

“What?”

“Get out of my bloody room!” I yelled as I forced them out and slammed the door shut behind them.

This can’t be happening. What were they thinking?

***

It was hard being at school after finding out news like that and it was even harder to stop myself from panicking about having to see Mr. Sanders later today. My head just wasn't ready to face all of this yet; and I proved that last night when I almost killed myself.

For once I was early for school and one of the only people on the yard at the start of the day. It was odd but I liked that no one else was there. I felt like I had a little longer to prepare myself and be ready for anything the day has to throw at me.

“Zack,” I heard a voice say.

I turned around and saw Mr. Baker standing there, looking pretty worried.

“Yes,” I asked sharply, even though I didn’t want to come across as moody to him.

“How are you today?” he asked me.

“Fine.”

“What did you have for breakfast today?”

Oh my God, why can’t he drop that? So what, I’ve lost a little weight and I'm lacking a bit of energy. Why does he need to make this his business?

“Food,” I lied, knowing that I’d once again not had time to have the most important meal of the day.

“I’ve told Mr. Sanders about you not eating enough,” he told me.

“You tell him everything,” I grunted. “You even told him about me drinking.”

“I had to Zack,” he explained. “Come with me.”

“Why?”

“Because you need to have something to eat Zack, starving yourself isn't going to help you at all.”

I nodded and followed him into his office, where he already had a bowl of cereal on his desk. He must have known I’d bother turning up today then.

“Eat,” he hissed.

“Fine,” I grunted as I picked up the spoon and dipped it into the bowl. “It looks like...”

“Just eat it!” he interrupted me.

I gave him a dirty look and then put a spoonful into my mouth. After one spoon I really didn’t want another one; I just knew I wouldn’t be able to stomach it.

“I'm not hungry,” I grunted shamefully.

“Zack, please eat it.”

It looked disgusting. I mean, couldn’t he have picked something more appetizing to force me to eat.

I cringed as I took another mouthful of the cereal and I started to feel sick, but I had some more anyway, I didn’t want to disappoint Mr. Baker, again!

“I can’t,” I muttered pathetically.

“Try Zack; you can’t just give up on food.”

“I don’t have enough time though, and I do eat.”

“When?”

I looked down at the bowl again and had one more mouthful before giving up.

“I'm sorry,” I sighed, ashamed of myself. “I can’t do it.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “At least you had a go.”

The expression on his face really irritated me. He looked like I’d let him down and it made me feel awful, so I grabbed the spoon and had a few more mouthfuls. I hated it! So much! But I managed to eat most of it, which made me feel better. I did it! Take that sir, you can’t say I have problems now, well, I suppose he can but he has less proof of it now.

I grinned at him and he knew I was proud of myself for doing that.

“Well done,” he smiled at me. “Are you going to show up for form today?” he asked but not in a serious kind of way.

“Of course,” I smirked at him as if turning up for form was normal for me. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I added sarcastically.

“I’ll see you later then,” he said as he opened the door to let me back out onto the yard. “Don't forget to go and see Mr. Sanders after lunch.”

I wish. That’s all I’ve been able to think about and I’d be grateful if someone could make me forget it.