Have We Gone Too Far?

“I can’t believe I just did that,” he smiled at me.

“I can’t either,” I mumbled, still in shock from what he just did. He kissed me! “I didn’t know you liked guys,” I whispered as a wave came passed making us bop up and down a little.

“Nor did I,” he sighed, running his hand through his soaking wet hair.

“Do you regret it?” I asked him in a serious voice as we treaded water to keep our heads above.

“I don’t think so,” he mumbled.

He wanted that and he doesn’t want to take it back. Oh my God that must mean he likes me. Bloody hell I didn’t see that coming. I know I’ve wanted him to like me the way I like him but now that he does it sort of feels weird.

“Do you feel alright?” I asked him.

“Yeah!” he shouted as a wave came and crashed against us. “We should probably get back on the beach though. I’d rather not get lost at sea!”

“Good idea!” I shouted over to him.

As we swam back to the shore I started feeling really weird. It was like I was forgetting something, maybe someone and it was kind of important. God, don’t you hate it when that happens? You have something remembered but then you completely forget about it. Man that’s annoying.

“Is there anything important happening at school today?” I asked Zander to see if he had any ideas about what I could be forgetting.

“Don't think so,” he muttered as he got up out of the water.

Wow he looked good wet. His shirt was sticking tightly to his body and it was almost see through now. He looked amazing. Okay, you know how great he looks now so stop staring. Zan gave me an odd look which quickly made me move my gaze; that was so embarrassing.

“Sorry,” I whispered making him laugh at me a little.

“It’s alright,” he blushed.

“You’re going a little red Zan,” I teased him.

“So are you,” he smiled at me.

Great! Now I'm blushing at him; this is so confusing. It wasn't that long ago when I hated him but now for same reason I think I'm crushing on him. This is so weird; it doesn’t make any sense at all.

We walked back over to where we were sitting on the beach before all of that happened and sat down exactly how we were before as if nothing had changed in the past minutes.

Staring up at the sky I started thinking. I needed to work out what’s going to happen now. Do I stay with Cole or do I get with Zander? Does Zan seriously want to be with me or will it just be something that’d last a few weeks at the most? I wish I knew.

What if he doesn’t really know what he’s doing? Maybe he doesn’t understand relationships properly. It would just be a mistake if him and I became more than friends.

“Have you ever liked a guy before?” I asked him.

“No, not really,” he whispered.

There we go! He has little experience. He’s just confused; he doesn’t really like me, it’s just that I'm his first close friend, that’s what he told me earlier.

Wait a sec; why do I keep finding reasons to just be friends with Zan. I like him don’t I. And surly there must be some reasons to leave Cole, right? I thought about it for a moment. There aren’t any. Sure he’s my teacher and stuff but that doesn’t matter. He loves me and I love him... so why am I with Zander? Why did we kiss?

“Zan?” I sighed.

“Yeah?” he asked me.

“Can we forget about what happened before please?” I whispered, looking away from him. I didn’t want to see his face after telling him that. He wanted to be with me; he thought I wanted to be with him, but the truth is; I need Cole.

“Sure,” he sniffed after a while.

Please say he’s not crying; please! God I’d hate to see him cry. I can’t imagine tears running down his face because of me. That’d hurt me so much. Man I’m selfish.

“Are you alright?” I asked him, facing him again now.

“Yeah,” he whispered as he started running his hand through the sand. “I'm an idiot, aren’t I?”

“No! No, you’re not Zan.”

“I kissed you,” he mumbled. “I barely know you and... I’ve probably ruined our friendship now,” he cried.

What have I done? I'm such a bad person. I can’t explain how much I hate myself right now.

“Zan. Look at me Zan,” I said strongly but caringly at the same time. “We can still be friends. It’s just... I’m in a relationship and I don’t want to ruin it.”

“I understand,” he sniffed but I wasn't sure if I believed him or not.

“Zan, I love you; just not in the way that you want me to,” I said looking right into his eyes. I had no idea if I meant what I just said. I do love him, but I love Cole too. What am I meant to do?

“It’s alright Zack; you don’t need to explain yourself.”

“Yes I do; I need you to know that I care about you.”

He nodded at me and then sat up awkwardly. He had sand stuck to his back because of how wet he was which made me smile a little.

“Do you want to just go back now?” he asked me sounding a little fed up.

“If you want to,” I sighed, standing and giving up on explaining to him. he clearly didn’t want to listen. “It’s going to be so obvious that we skipped school and snuck off to the beach.”

“It’s not that obvious-”

“Dude! We’re covered in sand and soaking wet. How more obvious can it get?”

He laughed at me and then groaned.

“Are we going to be in trouble?” he whispered sounding a bit nervous.

“Hell yeah!” I shouted. “We’re so dead,” I smiled tapping his side to make him look at me. “Do you want me to tell them I abducted you or something? That way you won’t get in trouble.”

“It’s alright,” he giggled.

“I could say aliens took me away with them so you followed to try and save me,” I said sarcastically. “That’s a great plan!”

“Sure it is,” Zan mumbled sounding scared of me.

“I'm only messing,” I laughed. “I know there are no aliens,” I cooed.

He looked at me and shook his head.

“You’re one of a kind Zacky Mondale,” he chuckled.

“Merci,” I said arrogantly. “I know a little French,” I bragged.

He gave me a look that made me feel real stupid; in a good way though; if that’s even possible.

***

Detention! Absolutely perfect. I know it is my fault for skiving but that’s not the point. Why should I be punished for making the most of my time? I’d rather be out there than in here any day and it’s not like I missed anything important.

“Zackary this has happened too many times now,” my principle ranted at me. “Once is bad enough but bunking off class numerous times is ridiculous Mr. Mondale.”

Blah, blah, blah! Why is it that whenever you’re in trouble they pretty much say the exact same things each time? I could perform their little lectures word for word if I had the time.

“I’ll have to speak to your parents in person this time Zackary,” he sighed as he wrote something on a piece of paper.

“Well you can’t,” I hissed.

“I'm afraid you don’t get a choice,” he smiled evilly at me.

Why is everyone against me at the moment?

I wonder what happened with Zander. He probably won’t get in as much trouble as I will, seeing as he hasn’t done anything like this before and because from what I can gather he has a pretty good record. They’ll probably just say that I’m a bad influence on him; which is probably true.

“My parents can’t come,” I cried.

Not the tears again. Why am I so pathetic?

“Why not?” he asked even though I knew he thought I was just making this up.

Because I'm petrified of what they’ll do to me! My dad got some guy to rape me and it’s not like he won’t try and do worse. Crap, what if he was the person who got all of those people to send those messages to my phone. Oh god, it might be my dad!

“They’re not at home,” I sniffed.

“That’s not a reason to get as worked up as you are now,” he said sternly.

What gives him the right to say that? If I wanted to cry about that then I will and he shouldn’t be telling me that I can’t.

“I’ll give them a call,” he said as he dialed my number into the phone, copying it from a piece of paper with most of my other details on it. “Hello Mr Mondale, this is Mr. Walker from Zackary’s school.”

“What’s he done now?” I heard my dad growl into the phone.

“It would be best if you came down to the school so we can talk about this properly.”

“Fine,” he grunted.

Mr. Walker hung up the phone and looked at me.

“I thought you said they wouldn't be in.”

I gave him a sick glare and then stared down at the floor.

“Can I go now?” I asked him.

“Not until we’ve spoken with your father,” he sighed.

I don’t want to speak to him! I can’t ever look at him again; not after what he’s done to me. I don’t want him to be in the same room as me.

“You’ve got to let me leave!” I begged him as I started shaking. “I'm not staying here with him. You can’t make me.”

“What’s wrong Zack?” he asked me staring to seem concerned.

“I can’t tell you,” I cried. “Please, can I go now?”

He looked at me and smiled supportively.

“Is this something you’d like to speak with your form teacher about?”

“No!” I snapped quickly. “Can I go see Mr. Sanders?” I asked him.

He nodded lightly and I raced out of the room and headed towards Cole’s. I cannot be here when dad comes. He’ll kill me! I just need to get away.

“Cole!” I shouted as I barged into his room and slammed the door shut. “My dad’s coming here,” I cried as I ran into his arms.

“What?” he said in shock. “Look, don’t worry. I won’t let him near you babes,” he said quickly as if he was panicking.

“He-he’s go-going to h-hurt me,” I sobbed.

“No he’s not. I’m not going to let that happen,” he said as he gently kissed my lips. “I’ll keep you safe.”

I sat down on one of the chairs in the room and tried to calm myself down. Cole will look after me; stop worrying Zack; you’re going to be fine. Who am I kidding? I'm well and truly doomed; I can’t escape my dad. He’ll always be able to find me.

“I'm scared Cole,” I sniffed.

“I know Zack... I know,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. “He won’t come here though sweetie.”

If only I believed that, I thought as he got out his phone and started to call someone.