Have We Gone Too Far?

“Don’t shout,” she begged. “I know that might sound weird but it’ll be a lot easier to say it’s yours than his.”

There was a long awkward silence where I was just staring at her in shock and she was looking at me like she was regretting ever bringing it up.

“Please say something,” she said in a small quiet voice.

I blinked a few times and then took a deep breath as I tried to let all of this settle into my mind. She was raped by Mr. Baker and she wants to say I’m the dad. It’s a lot to take in really.

“Are you being serious?” I whispered.

“Yeah,” he sniffed. “You’re like my best friend and it’d be so much better if you were the dad.”

“I’d be a crap dad,” I said, laughing a little but then going back to being serious. “You’re parents would kill me.”

“No they wouldn't. You know my mum and dad love you,” she smiled. “After I tell them I’m pregnant they’ll only be able to be glad if I said it was yours because you’re by far the best boy I’ve ever brought home to meet them.”

I blushed a little when she said that and then smiled at her. Her parents do love me, but if they thought I had sex with their daughter their opinion will quickly change. We have a pretty good relationship at the moment and if they thought I’d done that they’d hate me.

“Plus you’d be a great dad,” she said as she grabbed onto my hand and squeezed it tightly. “I won’t make you do everything for the baby; you can just act like a friend but people will think you’re the dad.”

“So you’re saying that I won’t have to do anything and everyone will think I'm its dad? Do you realize how bad that’ll make me look? If I don’t help you I’ll be given hell for being a bad dad who doesn’t care for his kid!”

“No one will think that Zacky,” she whispered. “And I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate. This is seriously my last option. If I want to keep this baby, I’ll need a name for the dad.”

“Fine,” I mumbled.

“Is that a yes?” she asked unsurely.

“As long as we tell someone eventually I’ll do it. But I'm kind of in a relationship and if they think I’ve cheated-”

“We can tell her then,” she said. “As long as you think you can trust her.”

She said her; perfect.

“Everyone will be talking about us Beth,” I mumbled.

“They’ll be talking about me not you. I’ll be the one who’s going to blow up to whale size; you don’t need to worry.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “I don’t know,” I mumbled.

“Please Zack. You know I wouldn't ask but I really want this baby and this is the only way I’ll be able to keep it,” she told me. “If my parents think I was raped they won’t let me have it because they’ll think I’d hate it because it’ll remind me of when it happened.”

“I don’t know how to be a dad,” I moaned. “I’ll do something wrong.”

“You won’t,” she insisted.

I don’t think I can do this; I mean I’ve not had a good experience with my parents; I wouldn't know what to do with a kid. Does anyone? I mean if it was actually mine I’d be able to manage but she wants me to pretend that Mr. Baker’s baby is mine. I’ll be the father of a baby who’s actualy dad raped me. I don’t think I can do that.

“I'm scared,” I whispered.

“Don't be!” she laughed.

“Do you think this is best for the baby? We’re not a couple and we’ll be in different relationships throughout the kid’s life. What if it doesn’t like the idea of mummy and daddy not living together and being with people other than each other?”

“I'm sure it’d rather that than know how it was conceived and then have to grow up without a father figure at all,” she hissed at me.

Maybe Beth’s right. I wouldn't want to know I was made when a sick teacher raped my mother; they’d ruin me. I’d need professional help to recover from something like that.

“I’ll do it then,” I sighed.

“You sure?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!”She screeched as she jumped up and wrapped herself around me, hugging me so tightly that it was hurting me. “You’re not only a life saver for me; you’re one for your little baby inside me,” she cooed and then let go of me and smiled looking down to her still normal looking stomach. “This is your Dada little one,” she whispered to it as she slowly stroked where her baby was growing. “I love you for this Zack,” she whispered as she kissed my cheek.

“I know you do,” I laughed nervously.

***

I was planning on going to see Cole or at least letting the people at the office know I'm back but Beth basically dragged me over to the rest of the guys. When we got there she slightly regretted it though because Kyle was there with his tongue down Miranda’s throat; it was disgusting.

“Why is she here?” Beth hissed.

“Because she’s with Kyle now,” Ellie mumbled as she snuggled into Jay’s chest with her eyes glued on Kyle still.

“That doesn’t mean she’s welcome here! Not after the things she said to us the other day.”

While we were talking I think Kyle realized what we were on about because he stuck his finger up at us, with his lips still locked with hers. They must have pretty good lungs to not breathe for that long.

“Ignore him,” Jay sighed. “So, how are you guys?” he asked us as we sat down with him and Ellie.

“Fine,” I mumbled.

“Can we tell them?” Beth whispered into my ear.

“Not yet,” I sighed. “Leave it a bit,” I said in a hushed tone so that the others didn’t hear.

“What you whispering about?” Ellie asked looking worried for some reason.

“Nothing,” Beth smiled. “Do you guys want to meet up tonight?” she asked randomly. “We could just hang out or go to a club or something,” she suggested.

“Well, why not?” Jay laughed.

“I'm in,” Ellie smiled. “Are you coming Zack?” she asked me.

When I hang around with these guys, alcohol and drugs generally end up getting involved in our night. It’s not as bad without Kyle but knowing him he’ll find out our plans and join us without being invited.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for a night out, especially if some guys are looking for me. Cole was so worried about those messages so I know they’re not something I can just ignore.

“I don’t think I can,” I sighed.

“I thought your parents don’t give one though,” Jay chuckled.

“Yeah, you could sneak out or something; it’s not fair if you miss out,” Beth added.

I laughed a little at that because it isn't usually Beth coming up with devious plans. Wait, wasn't Beth the one who suggested a club? She can’t drink in her condition! What the hell is she thinking?

“Erm, Beth, you know it’s probably best if you don’t go,” I hissed, hoping she’d catch on to what I was getting at.

“I want to go,” she laughed.

“Why can’t she Zack?” Ellie asked.

I shook my head at them and waited for Beth to say something; she didn’t. I thought she’d tell them about the baby now. I know she wants them to know about it and she just had the perfect opportunity to tell them.

“It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled when Beth stayed quiet.

“So, are you coming or not then Zack?” Jay asked me, sounding pretty confused.

“Maybe.”

“That’s not an answer,” he whined sounding even more confused than before.

“Well it’s the best one I have,” I laughed. “I’ll come if I can,” I mumbled.

“Great!” Ellie shouted. “Where’re we meeting up?”

“My place?” Jay suggested.

“Sure,” the girls grinned.

We talked and made plans for tonight for quite a while longer. In fact we got so into it that we didn’t notice Kyle and Miranda standing behind us, listening to what we were saying.

“What are you talking about?” Kyle asked making us jump a little. We thought he’d be too busy to notice that we were even here.

“Nothing,” Ellie hissed.

“We’re going to hang out tonight, you coming?” Jay asked.

I can’t believe Jay’s the only one who doesn’t know how much of a jerk he’s become. I mean we’ve been trying to hide this from him and then Jay just tells him everything.

“Can me and Miranda come?” he asked sounding a little shy, which is pretty unusual for him.

“Erm...” Beth said as she turned and looked at each of us. “Go on then,” she smiled awkwardly.

“It’s going to be so much fun,” Miranda said slyly.

“Thanks guys,” Kyle mumbled as he wrapped his arm around his girlfriend’s waist.