Have We Gone Too Far?

My eyes flickered open and it felt as if the light was slipping through the gaps in them. I squinted a little to get myself used to it. Wait a minute, where am I? I'm sure I wasn't here before. Certain even. I’ve never been in this room... have I? For a moment I simply looked around to take in my environment. White walls and an odd shade of purple curtains being used like a door.

A hospital? Well, where else could I be? There isn't anywhere else where you can smell as much bleach as you can here.

I could hear people talking in the room. Zan and Cole? Who else would it be? It’s not like anyone else would be here visiting me, well, they wouldn't be acting as calm as they are if it was someone else.

They’re talking about... me? I have no idea what they’re saying though; their voices are too muffled. I sat up in my bed and looked up at them, hoping that they’d see me. They didn’t. Why can’t they see me? I'm right here!

“Cole,” I whispered not getting a response though. “Zan,” I said, and then the same thing happened again.

Are they ignoring me? They wouldn't do that, would they? It might just be that they didn’t hear me... who am I kidding? Of course they heard! I don’t exactly have a quiet voice, do I? And if they didn’t hear me, surely they’d have noticed me sitting up. I mean I'm ill right, so they should be watching me constantly.

I let out a sigh of relief. Part of me was happy that they clearly weren’t always watching me. If they were I’d feel a little awkward. After all I hate being watched. It’s far from a comfortable experience and I hate that feeling that you get when you know you’re being watched but you have no idea who by, so then you just rule it out to paranoia.

Come to think of it, I actually do have that feeling now. Someone’s watching me! I know it’s not Cole or Zan because they’re still talking. Their mouths are moving but for some reason I don’t know what words are coming out. Why can’t I hear them? Right now that doesn’t matter. Who else could be watching me?

I looked around the room but spotted nothing that was out of the ordinary. Weird. Paranoia strikes again. It’s not like it could be anything else, right?

“I love him,” I heard a voice say. Zander?

Wait so I can hear them now? I think so, yes. Who’s he talking about?

“I know you do,” Cole whispered. “But he doesn’t love you back,” he said sounding really harsh.

What the hell’s going on? Why’s Cole being like this? How would he even know if the guy Zan likes, likes him back? Wow, wait a sec. It can’t be what I'm thinking though, can it? Zan doesn’t love me. I know we kissed and that he likes me, but love? That can’t be right.

“You can’t tell him,” Zander mumbled. “It’d ruin our friendship.”

An evil look appeared on Cole’s face. It was if he was considering telling me, even though I’d just heard what Zan said and I know he doesn’t want me to find out about it.

“Do you think you two have a friendship?” Cole asked him. “You’re not exactly the sort of person he usually associates with. He told me he only speaks to you because he feels sorry for you.”

What? Cole can’t be saying this! He wouldn't! Why is he saying this?

I jumped up out of the bed and walked up to them but they still didn’t notice me. What’s happening?

“He doesn’t feel sorry for me,” Zander muttered but there was clear doubt in his voice.

“Are you calling me a liar?” Cole challenged him.

“No,” Zan sighed. “But he wouldn't say that.”

That’s right! I’d never say something like that. In fact even if it was true I wouldn't tell anyone. I'm not that sort of guy. I don’t do things like that and Zan should know that... so should Cole. Why’s he doing this anyway? Jealousy? I’ve never really thought of him as the jealous type but what else could it be?

“He doesn’t like you Zander,” Cole shouted. “Never has and never will.”

I could see tears forming in Zan’s eyes as he turned around so that Cole couldn’t see him. Shut up Cole! You’re bloody upsetting him. Carefully I wrapped y arms around Zan but he didn’t flinch or anything. It’s like they have no idea that I’m even here. What if I'm not here? I'm so confused right now.

“Do you seriously think he ever liked you?” Cole asked.

“He does like me,” Zan sniffed sounding really unsure though.More than you think?

Cole shook his head at him.

“He doesn’t... but I know someone who does,” he grinned as he turned Zander to face him. “I like you Zan,” he whispered as he pecked Zan on the lips.

My heart dropped. What? No! This can’t be happening! Tears dripped down from my eyes. How could he?

“Zack doesn’t need to know,” Cole whispered into Zan’s lips.

I hate him! I hate him!

My eyes shot opened, filled with tears and I was back in bed again. How did that happen? Wasn't I over there before? I looked around and realized I was the only one in the room other than Maria, the nurse. Did they go off together? They wouldn't! Slowly I sat up and tried to calm myself down.

Did that actually happen?

“Are you alright?” she asked me when she noticed the tear and fright in my face.

“No,” I whispered. “What just happened?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked looking really confused.

“I was over there and... they were there... but they couldn’t see me,” I stuttered a little, feeling pretty confused too.

The nurse came over and put her hand on my hand, checking my temperature most likely. She gave me an odd look that made me feel a bit mad. I'm not mad! I'm not insane! I'm normal....ish.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“You don’t have a temperature,” she mumbled to herself.

I knew that as what she was doing! I'm a lot more proud of that than I should be...

“Did you sleep alright?” she asked me.

Sleep? I didn’t sleep... did I?

“What?” I asked her.

“How did you sleep?” she asked again.

My eyes narrowed on her. Was that seriously just a dream? It felt so real. Then again, when I look back it was a little weird. They couldn’t hear or see me, plus Zan doesn’t love me and if he did Cole wouldn't react that way and he certainly wouldn't kiss him...or would he?

“I slept fine,” I lied, realizing that it must’ve just been a dream.

“Good,” she smiled at me. “Someone’s come to visit you,” she told me.

I tensed up when she said that. surely my parents wouldn't be here yet. There’s no way they’d be able to visit with the type of hangovers they get. In fact there’s a chance they might still be drunk.

“Don't worry,” she told me. “It’s not your mum and dad. But they will be here eventually and then they’ll have to speak with the police,” she explained to me.

I nodded at her, understanding what she meant, but if it’s not my mum and dad here, then who is it?

“I’ll go and get him for you,” she smiled.

A concerned look spread across my face before I nodded at her.

“Maria,” I said just before she walked out.

“Yes,” she said, walking back into the room and turning to me.

“Do you know where Zan and Cole went?” I asked her shyly.

“I think they went for something to eat in the canteen so you could rest for a bit.”

I smiled at her. I know they wouldn't actually kiss. It must’ve been a dream. So why can’t I stop thinking about it? As someone walked in I let a few tears drip down my face.

“Hello Zack.”

My whole body went into shock when I saw who was now in my room, alone with me. I wanted to scream, to get as far away from him as possible... I couldn’t though. My body just wouldn't let me.

“I heard you were in hospital,” he grinned as he sat down on the edge of my bed and placed his hand on my leg.

“P-please d-don’t t-ouch me-e,” I sniffed as memories came flooding back. He can’t be in here. I’ve done whatever I can to avoid him...now he’s here. Mr. Baker is here.

“I'm just making sure that you’re alright Zacky,” he snarled gripping onto me tighter. “You’ve got stitches,” he whispered, running his finger across them, making me shiver.

“Go a-away,” I begged.

“I'm trying to be nice!” he hissed at me. “And that’s no way to speak to your teacher,” he laughed.

On the inside I was screaming, but on the outside there was nothing. Maybe I shouldn’t be scared. He can’t really do anything here, not without a really big risk of getting caught anyway.

He moved in closer to me and placed his lips on my ear. I tried to push him back but nothing I did worked. He was far too strong and heavy for me to do anything.

“Derek did a pretty good job, didn’t he?” he said, breathing heavily onto my skin.

I started shaking when he said that. How does he know Derek?

“W-what?” I stuttered.

He smiled at me before removing the covers from my body. I tensed up. Why the hell did he do that?

I glared at him, trying to remain as strong as I could.

“Don't look at me like that,” he said softly like it was nothing.

He shook his head as he stared at the long hospital gown that I had to wear now. I hated the way he looked at me. It was scary. His hands went to the bottom of the gown and he started playing with the material on it.

“Stop,” I whispered weakly.

He started lifting it up, exposing my body. Why aren’t I stopping him? What’s wrong with me? Tears started running down my face. This man scares me too much for me to even try and stop him from doing things like this to me.

“No Zack,” he smiled. “If I stopped I’d just have to tell a few people about a certain relationship,” he said with a smug grin on his face.

“No.”

His smile grew bigger as he ran his hand across the rim of my boxers and brought his body on top of mine. I needed him to stop. Not just because I don’t want him to do it but because I know that if we get caught he’ll tell about Cole and I.

“Not here,” I cried. “Please.”

He brought his lips to mine and forced his tongue inside my mouth, completely ignoring what I’d just told him as he pulled my legs around his waist so that I was straddling him.

Right then I heard the curtain open. This can’t be happening. Not like this, please!

Mr. Baker got off me instantly but then sat back down when he realized who it was who’d caught us. It was Zander. I can’t believe he had to walk in on that. Poor Zan. Oh crap! Zan caught me and Mr. Baker! What’s Sir going to do to him? More tears fell from my eyes when I thought about Zan being in danger.

“What are you doing here?” Mr. Baker asked him as if nothing had happened.

Zan just stood there, most likely shocked at what he’d just saw, staring at me. He looked like he was going to throw up, and quite frankly I felt like doing that too.

“Well,” Mr. Baker hissed.

Cole appeared behind Zan in the doorway and he looked as if he was about to cry when he saw me in tears and Mr. Baker beside me.

“Get out!” Cole said sharply, moving around Zan so he was at the side of me opposite to Mr. Baker. He pulled the covers back over me to help me feel more comfortable and then pulled me into a hug and let me cry into his shoulder.

“Come over here Zan,” Cole whispered, obviously trying to keep him away from Mr. Baker. Slowly he walked over to Cole’s side.

“I’ll be back,” Mr. Baker smiled and kissed my cheek, making me cry harder.

“No he won’t,” Cole whispered to me. “Don't worry sweetie, everything’s going to be alright,” he told me, but I know that’s not true. This is far from alright. Unless I do something this’ll go on forever...