Promise Me This; Never Let Go

I waited and waited until the owner of the place told me it was time to leave, which didn't make sense to me. From my teenage years, I remembered he kept this place open 24 hours of the day, 7 days a week. Things really have changed over the years, and I haven't noticed these changes.

"You know I love you, but you have to go. I have to close this place up," Mr. Shinoda sighed.

I frowned and looked at my phone. I've been here since seven o'clock this morning. It is now three o'clock a.m. into the next day. He didn't come. He promised he would, he even pleaded the day of my wedding. He stood me up. He never wanted to fix things. I fell for the trap all over again. Matt knows how much he means to me. I would risk my own life just to save him. I guess I was never important enough for him. All of this was a damn ruse! I can't believe this.

I walked back home, to my parent's home, in fact. The whole walk home, silent tears fell from my eyes. I never made a noise and I kept my head down. I didn't want anyone to ask me what was wrong. At this stage, I was completely vulnerable.

I dared to look up from the ground and found Ken skateboarding in front of our house. It had to be some type of sibling telepathy because as soon as I looked at him, he turned his head and saw the obvious tears in my eyes.

Recklessly, he jumped off his skateboard and let it keep going until it hit the trashcans, making a very loud thud. I didn't even know he was holding me until he stroked the back of my head and told me it was going to be okay.

I looked back at the house across the street. All of the lights were off, even the light on the second floor towards the right side of the house. I couldn't be sure, but I'm winging it and assuming Matt lives with his parents. I hoped he was secretly looking outside his window right now. I want him to see how hurt I am. All he had to do was show up.

Ken led me into the house and closed the door behind me. The silent tears I let run down my face turned into full-blown sobs. I was loud too. It hurt so much; I just had to cry. Of all the things to happen, why didn't Matt want to fix things like he said he wanted? I gave him what he wanted; I gave him me. That was never enough was it?

I felt like such a heartbroken teen. There was no other way to describe it. There are certain people I always want, certain people I always need in my life. Matt is one of those people and he knows that, but he doesn't care.

"Izzy, what's in your hand?"

I lifted my head from my pillow. Apparently, Ken laid me down in my bed and I didn't even notice. I looked down at my hand. I was holding a striped carnation. I'm not sure why I took it but it was on the bench I was sitting on. It just appeared there when I walked back to my seat after buying a bottle of water.

He sat at the foot of my bed, concerned etched all over his face. With the carnation in my hand, I gingerly touched Ken's face. Only 17 years of age, and he already had wrinkled creases at certain points of his face. He should be enjoying life right now. He shouldn't have to worry about me or anyone else. Sometimes I felt like he was the older sibling in this relationship.

I sat up and hugged him for dear life. He sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. His body was drenched in perspiration from his practice and from the nervousness at my reaction when he caught sight of me returning home from the long day of waiting at the skate park.

"Everything will be okay, sis. They will be." I had always been close to my brother, but this took it to a completely new level.