He Won't Be Coming Home

The gang and I were all waiting at the bus station. None of us could sit still the entire time; nerves were running high and we were all anxious. Matt and Zacky were returning home from basic training, and it would be the first time any of us would see them since they left. I was sat next to Sarah, my hand held tightly in hers to help calm both our nerves. Neither one of us could sit still.

I held my breath as a bus finally pulled up. I knew it was the right one when a man in army fatigues stepped off among the first few people. But he wasn't my Matt, nor was he Zacky.

A smile and tears instantly came to me when I saw Matt's face as he stepped off the bus. He looked at me and smiled, stopping right outside the bus door. He turned and Zacky slowly came down the stairs. Matt reached out, grabbing Zacky's bicep to help him to the ground. Sarah stood up from next to me and I did the same. Our eyes and the eyes of all our friends were on them now.

Compared to Matt, Zacky's transformation was much more drastic. His once choppy black hair was cut short, reminding me of Nicholas Cage in Ghostrider. Matt helped him over to us, and I noticed Zacky had a slight limp in his foot. I remembered what Matt had told me in one of his letters, about shooting himself accidentally. He no longer had his piercings in, and his eyes looked less vibrant. He looked like he'd been run ragged, and it showed in both his tired face and his now very much fit body.

Matt, on the other hand, didn't seem as phased as Zacky. His hair was cut short like he always did on odd occasions, and his piercings were also missing. He did look rather handsome in Army fatigues, I had to admit.

After he helped Zacky over to Sarah and greeted his friends, Matt walked over to me. He stopped in front of me and paused. "Matt," I whispered, and I hugged him with everything I had. "I missed you so much."

I felt his lips on my cheek and he picked me up in a hug, burying his face in my neck. "I missed you too Jay."

When he set me down he held me near. I looked up into his eyes, and then downward. His name tag on his uniform caught my eye. 'Sanders' was sewn in black on the patch and I ran my fingers over it slowly as I looked at it. I looked back up at Matt. I was so happy to see him that I felt the tears coming to my eyes. "You look pretty good in this uniform," I whispered, placing my hands on his broad chest. He smiled and leaned down to kiss me sweetly.

"Where's Alex?" he asked after he pulled away.

"He's with my mother. I didn't think the bus station was such a good place for him to be when it's this crowded."

"Oh... does he know I'm coming home today?" Matt asked, taking my hands in his and lacing our fingers together.

"Yeah. He's so excited, Matt," I smiled. "He might not let go of you for hours."

He chuckled. "I don't think I'll have a problem with that at all."

After a quick reunion, we all split up into vehicles to go home, knowing that in two weeks' time we'd have to endure the pain of letting Matt and Zacky go again.

"What do you think it's like over there?" I asked as I laid in Matt's arms, his fingers running through my hair.

"I dunno really. Like how it looks all over the news, only a lot worse. And it's a lot hotter over there than it is here," he replied quietly.

"You... you're gonna have to kill people," I said, choking on my words.

"I know... I don't like thinking about it. I can't even imagine having to shoot another human being. I don't know what I'll do if we're sent to the streets and a child is pointing a gun at my face. I wouldn't be able to do it... I'd be thinking about Alex," Matt sighed.

"Even if you knew you were going to get shot?"

"I dunno... it all comes down to the moment, I guess. I don't wanna talk about it."

I nodded and left it at that. No point in thinking about what could happen in the war when I only had two weeks with Matt. It'd be just like last time; we'd spend as much time together and with our friends as we could.

"...They said when we leave, we have to get on a plane to take us to a base camp in Texas before we get on a jet," Matt said after a long bout of silence.

"I thought you didn't wanna talk about it?" I teased a little.

"I know... but that's all I can think about right now. It's so frustrating. I wanna think about all the normal things I used to be able to think about, but this war is the only thing I can think about. I'm going away, baby, and... I don't want to. I don't want to do my 'patriotic duty'. Zacky was right; war is a place where men die, whether they're a hero or not."

I sat up and looked at Matt. Tears were coming to his eyes and his lip was trembling. "Oh, baby... You're gonna be just fine. I promise you," I said, taking my hand in his.

"I hope you're right."

The airport we were at was really small. Zacky and Matt wouldn't even have to get into the place by a terminal because the plane was small as well. Matt and Zacky's parents were also there. The two were done up in their army fatigues and we were all saying our final goodbyes for the second time.

Mr. Baker came up to Matt and pulled him into a hug. He placed his hands on Matt's broad shoulders when he pulled away. "I'm counting on you to bring my boy back in one piece, Sanders. Can you do that for me?" he asked.

"I'll do my best," Matt said, nodding his head just once.

"....Your best is all I can ask. Bring yourself home in one piece as well, young man. There's no need to break the heart of this young woman here, alright?" Mr. Baker said, smiling kindly at me. I smiled back.

"I will."

Mr. Baker went to see Zacky off one last time, and Matt's parents came over. Matt's mother, Kim, pulled him into a tight embrace. "Look after yourself. I wanna see you come home to us," she whispered, letting a few tears streak down her face.

"I will mom. I love you," Matt said in return, placing a kiss on her cheek. Matt's father, Gary, pulled him into a hug next.

"I want you to know that I'm proud of your bravery, son."

I glanced at Matt's face. I knew that he was terrified inside, wanting nothing more than to run away from all this. But after a moment's hesitation, he forced a smile. Gary stepped back and Matt walked over to me. I slid a finger under each of my eyes to catch my tears before they fell. I was instantly pulled into a hug and I closed my eyes tight.

"Come home to me," I whispered into his neck.

"I will come back to you... to Alex," Matt said after he pulled away. He placed a hand on my cheek and I held it there with my own. He leaned in to kiss me and I was crying after we pulled away. "I promise," he whispered, resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," Matt smiled. He leant down to pick up Alex, who was almost attached around his leg. "You stay good for your momma, alright? I don't wanna hear any bad reports about you..." Matt said. Alex nodded, tears streaming down his face.

"When will I get to see you again?" he asked. Matt looked at me quickly and I bit my lip.

".... I dunno... Hopefully soon," Matt said. The engine of the plane was turned on. "I gotta go now, okay? I love you."

"Love you too, dad," Alex replied, and kissed his father's cheek. Matt kissed me quickly one last time, squeezed my hand, and then backed away. He looked at me one last time before he and Zacky followed the other soldiers to the plane.

"Goodbye, Matt."