Slowly Dying Alone

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***

.....Ashlyn stared as Joe studied his sheet music. She didn’t mean to, didn’t want to, but it just happened. One minute she was reading a book and the next Joe was biting his lip in a concentrating manner. Ashlyn loved it when he bit his lip; it was the only time that she knew he was seriously thinking. Joe never knew that he was doing it, and Ashlyn doubted that anyone had pointed the fact out to him. Ashlyn sighed as she looked back down at her book. Things were not going the way she had planned.

.....Ashlyn didn’t know what she was supposed to do, if Joe really did like her, then her dating David was probably doing more damage then good, but she couldn’t back out now, because then Joe would know that she faked the whole relationship. After all, Joe knew her better then anyone else.

.....Ashlyn was so lost in thought that she didn’t even noticed Joe looking up at her.

....."What are you thinking about?" Joe asked softly causing Ashlyn to jump. Ashlyn looked over at Joe and frowned. He was looking at her in a manner that she had never seen out of him before. Ashlyn wondered what was going on.

....."Nothing really," Ashlyn said, not willing to let Joe into her thoughts. "I was just missing Texas," she lied. Honestly Ashlyn didn’t care where she was…as long as she was with Joe…but that wasn’t something she would ever tell him.

....."Really?" Joe's face fell. Ashlyn was suddenly confused. Did he think that she was thinking about David? Ashlyn didn’t know how she could…with Joe in the room.

....."Yeah…I miss my room," Ashlyn teased. Joe looked up with a smile and laughed.

.....Joe's face turned serious and he looked at Ashlyn.

....."I'm sorry Sawyer," Joe whispered softly. Ashlyn didn’t know what to say. But Joe just continued. "I shouldn’t have cut you off like that…it was wrong. You're my best friend, and it wasn’t fair of me to ignore you for another girl. I'd like us to get back to what we used to have," Joe said hopefully. Ashlyn continued to look at Joe, and she saw the sincerity in his eyes.

....."You really hurt me Joe," Ashlyn admitted with a sigh. "I was going through a rough time and you just blew me off. I don’t know where we're supposed to go from there," she then added. Joe nodded deep in thought.

....."I feel like…like you don’t trust me," Joe finally said. "I know that you're hiding something from me…I know that Kevin and Dani know what it is, and I feel left out. I'm supposed to be your best friend…but how can I when you've never trusted me with the truth?" Ashlyn gasped. This was the honest that Joe had ever been with her, and Ashlyn knew that she had two choices. She could tell Joe the truth and become closer to him then she ever thought possible…or she could lie and possibly lose him forever. Ashlyn sighed before looking up at Joe.

....."I want you to know…" Ashlyn paused taking a deep breath. "I never wanted to keep it from you, but I worried…"

....."About what?" Joe asked after a few moments of silence.

....."About how you would feel about me…after…after you learned the truth." Joe quickly got up, and sat next to Ashlyn, taking her hands in his.

....."I love you, Sawyer…you're my best friend…the person who knows all my secrets. I could never feel any different…less about you," Joe promised. He squeezed Ashlyn's hand and quickly laced their hands together. "Talk to me…please," he pleaded. Ashlyn looked over and into Joe's eyes. They were begging. Joe wanted know her secret, he wanted…Ashlyn saw that he wanted his best friend back and that made Ashlyn smile.

....."That fight," Ashlyn sighed. "The one Kevin came and got me…because of…" Ashlyn looked down at her hands, which were still laced with Joe's. Joe squeezed her hands tighter and pulled her in closer. "I was in a fight…but I wasn’t fighting," Ashlyn finally admitted.

....."What do you mean?" Joe asked confused.

....."Kevin took me away from my…from my dad…" Ashlyn looked up…Joe's face was turning red…as if he knew what she was going to say. "My dad was the one who always ended up placing me in the hospital," she finally said. Joe froze…Ashlyn looked into his eyes, suddenly scared of what he would do.

....."He…did…what?" Joe asked. Ashlyn could tell that he was trying to keep his anger down.

....."My dad was hitting me…that's why Kevin came…the hospital called him after the last time, because Kevin had told them to call him…should I…I end up in the hospital again. Kevin threatened my dad, and my dad gave Kevin and Dani custody over me until I'm of legal age…in September."

....."Why didn’t you tell me?" Joe then asked, his voice full of hurt.

....."I wanted to…but I was afraid you would see my dad's side of the story…I know that it isn't rational…but fears never are," Ashlyn said.

....."How did Kevin find out?" Joe asked.

....."The first time I ended up in the hospital, they called Kevin by mistake. He got me to admit what had happened…but I refused to turn my dad in…Kevin wanted to tell you…but I made him swear not too. I wouldn’t have been able to stand it, if you hated me," Ashlyn admitted. Joe grasped Ashlyn's chin and forced her to look at him.

....."I could never hate…you, Sawyer. You're everything to me…I need you in my life…what if your dad had killed you, or placed you in a coma? I can't lose you," he whispered. Ashlyn's heart then broke. She leaned into Joe and allowed him to hug her tightly. It didn’t matter that he was squashing her…it didn’t matter that she hated the ideas of hugs…all that mattered was that Joe was in her arms, and he wasn’t leaving her…anytime soon.

***

.....Kevin and Nick were about to enter the back room when they heard Joe and Ashlyn talking. They paused as listened for a moment. Kevin looked over at Nick and saw the frown. Kevin then put an arm on Nick and led him back into the front of the bus.

....."Did you know?" Nick asked softly. Kevin sighed.

....."Yes…it's why she's living with me and Dani," Kevin admitted.

....."Why didn’t you tell me?" Nick wanted to know.

....."It wasn’t my story to tell. Ashlyn would have told you when she was ready. I'm just glad that she and Joe have finally worked their issues out," Kevin said. Nick nodded.

....."It will make living on the bus easier," Nick agreed. Kevin smiled.

....."How is Kylie doing?" Kevin then wanted to know. Nick face lit up causing Kevin to smile even wider. His baby brother was very much in love.

....."They found a donor; Kylie said it's still touch and go, but that this is a good thing and a step in the right direction. Mom said that the doctor told her that if all goes well, then she could join us on tour sometime after next month," Nick said as he sat down.

....."So she would be with us in time for yours and hers birthday?" Kevin asked. Nick looked up in confusion.

....."Our birthday?" he asked. Kevin laughed.

....."Didn’t you realize that you and Kylie were born on the same day?" Kevin asked in amusement. Nick went wide-eyed.

....."Seriously?" Nick asked. Kevin just nodded. Nick looked down at his feet and then shook his head…laughing. "I'm sure mom told us…but it probably flew right over our heads." Kevin laughed.

....."Ah…young love," Kevin teased…causing Nick to blush.

....."I do love her," Nick agreed. "What should I get her for her birthday?" he wondered. Kevin just smiled and left Nick to his own thoughts. He walked toward his bunk and smiled when he saw Dani laying there…reading a book.

....."What are reading?" Kevin asked as he climbed into the bunk. Dani put the book down and smiled.

....."Nothing important," she promised. Kevin nodded and leaned in for a kiss.

....."I love you," he whispered. Dani smiled and kissed him again.

....."I love you," she returned as she snuggled into his chest.