Slowly Dying Alone

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***

.....Payton watched as Ashlyn laughed at Joe's silliness.

....."I'm serious Sawyer," Joe said also laughing. Payton smiled.

....."You let him go," Kevin said coming up from behind Payton. Payton turned.

....."I had to," Payton whispered as she turned back toward Joe and Ashlyn.

....."He loves her," she replied. "I couldn’t keep him, it wasn’t fair to either of them."

....."You were too good for him," Kevin said with a slight laugh.

....."Maybe…my brother hates Joe now," Payton said with a sigh.

....."I think Ashlyn and David are faking," Kevin replied. Payton looked over with a frown. She then laughed.

....."That sounds like Ashlyn," she said with a smile. Kevin soon smiled and then also found himself laughing. "I hope they realize that they are prefect for each other," she then added.

....."Deep down inside, I think they do," Kevin said.

....."Do you think Nick and Kylie are doing okay?" Payton asked.

....."I think that they are doing just fine," Kevin assured.

....."Yeah…at least they realized that they were perfect for each other," Payton said with a sigh. "I'll find my perfect…someday," she then whispered.

***

.....Ashlyn knew that she was being stupid. Joe didn’t love her, he couldn’t love her, she wasn’t special enough for his love. Sure he loved her like a friend, but Ashlyn knew that Joe could never feel anything other then friendship.

....."You're thinking again," Joe whispered from next to her. Ashlyn looked up. She didn’t know what to say.

....."I…" she paused. Joe leaned in close causing Ashlyn to lock eyes with him. She stared into his eyes confused. He was staring at her in a manner, that she had seen earlier. He looked like he was in love with her…but that wasn’t possible.

....."What's wrong Sawyer?" Joe asked.

....."Joe…I…well…you see it's like this," she started. "I'm in love with this boy…I have been…since…well my entire life. He's everything to me, but he doesn’t know that I exist," she finally whispered.

....."How could anyone ever know that you don’t exist?" Joe asked his eyes still staring at her intently. Then before Ashlyn knew what was happening Joe leaned forward and captured her lips in his. Ashlyn gasped before quickly wrapped her fingers in his curls. Joe groaned before pushing her back, kissing her with every feeling that he had. Ashlyn laid across the bed kissing Joe back. She never knew that it could be this good, she didn’t know that Joe could kiss this well.

.....Joe's lips left Ashlyn's and trailed down along her neck.

....."I love you, Sawyer," Joe whispered his breath grazing the curve of her neck. Ashlyn paused.

....."What?" she breathed. Joe stopped. He shifted so that he was straddling her and then Joe looked down at her.

....."I love you Sawyer. I know it was stupid of me not to tell you a long time ago, but I never knew how to tell you…and then," Joe stopped. Ashlyn ran her fingers through his hair.

....."And then?" she asked softly.

....."And then David," Joe whispered with a sigh. Ashlyn turned her head and looked out the window. She then turned to Joe and smiled.

....."I don't love him," she then whispered. She gently lifted her head and kissed him once more. "I don't love him," she repeated. Joe sighed and kissed her once again.

....."I can't let you leave him," Joe then said. Ashlyn looked.

....."What?" she asked in disbelief. Joe got off of Ashlyn and sat up.

....."It's not fair to David," Joe tried to explain. Ashlyn sat up and sighed.

....."I'm not really with David. It was just a stupid bet," Ashlyn admitted.

....."A bet?" Joe asked.

....."Yes a stupid bet. He bet that he could make you notice me and I bet that he couldn’t last as my boyfriend. It was a stupid bet…stupid," she whispered.

....."I was a bet?" Joe asked. Ashlyn looked at Joe and saw the hurt on his face.

....."Joe…I've been in love with you since forever…and you always choose other girls over me…always. You had been ignoring me and I was hurt and upset and ran into David. He brought up the bet idea and I was pissed enough to take it. Like I said…it was stupid." Joe looked away and Ashlyn sighed. She quickly got up and sat on Joe, forcing him to look at her.

....."I want to be mad," he whispered running his fingers through her hair. "I want to be mad…but I know that if you and David…if you hadn't of dated him, then I most likely would have admitted my feelings for you," Joe said softly. "I love you," he whispered again. Joe then leaned in and kissed her deeply.

....."You can't stop me from fake breaking up with him," Ashlyn whispered as she leaned in to kiss his neck. Joe moaned and leaned his head to the side leaning into her kiss.

....."I don't think I could stop you even if I wanted to," Joe replied. Ashlyn laughed.

....."Joe, I don't…I don’t want anyone to know about us," Ashlyn then whispered. Joe stopped and looked at her.

....."Why?" Joe asked.

....."Every girl that you date doesn’t last once you go public. I don’t want to be that girl."

....."I don’t want you to be that girl either," Joe replied.

....."Then we agree…we are a secret," Ashlyn said as she kissed him.

....."Right a secret," Joe replied as he kissed her deeper. She really did love him.