The Square Root

Aw shit. This is what I get for being the bestfriend. I sighed inwardly. “Oh hell, sure, why not?” Pfft. More like WHY THE FUCK WOULD I HELP YOU?

He beamed. “Really?”

“Can you stop asking that? I seriously might change my mind one day,” I glared. Not even lying.

He chuckled. “I love you!” he screamed and hugged me.

“I know, I love you too,” I said pushing him off. “So, how’s this gonna work?” I asked him.

“Let’s practice,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Practice?”

“Yeah, pretend to be on the date with me,” he shrugged.

“Okay,” I shrugged.

“Just like that, really?”

“Uhh, that’s what I’m here for, right?” I rolled my eyes.

“Have I told you that you’re the fucking best and I fucking love you?”

“You just did, now let’s go,” I chuckled. “What’s on the list?”

“Well first, I’d take her on a walk,” he said.

“Well shit. Why didn’t we start this before we got tattoos?” I hissed at him. He shook his head and continued.

“And while taking her on a walk, I’d hold her hand,” he took my hand and intertwined it with his. I guess this is the closest I’d get to being with him. Pretending. We started walking on the sidewalks. He called for a cab, and as we got in, he just gave the man a piece of paper and we started driving towards it. “So, where are we going?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t say, because she hates surprises,” he grinned at me.

“I don’t like you,” I mumbled.

“You love me,” he beamed.

“Uhuh, I’d love to smack you right now,” I sighed.

“You look adorable right now, how about a kiss?” he winked.

“In your dreams,” I rolled my eyes.

“Have you been invading my dreams?” he playfully glared at me.

“You’ve been invading mine,” I winked at him, and we doubled over laughing. Only he didn’t know that I really meant it.

“So, I’m a superhero, guess my name.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Batman?” he shook his head. “Superman?”

He shook his head again. “Nope, I’m YourMan,” he winked.

“Oh my gosh! Have you been on facebook?!” I laughed hysterically at his cheesy pick up line.

We got to our destination and it looked awfully familiar. “Welcome to the Palace of Versailles,” he grinned at me.

“Oh shit,” my mouth hung open.

“Come on before it gets dark,” he said pulling me towards a direction that the tourists weren't going to. We went through a small gate, and ended up at the maze.

“Oh shit, another maze,” I groaned. “I hate mazes. I just hope your girl likes them,” I pouted.

He just laughed. “Don’t worry, I wont lose you,” he said holding onto my hand tighter, giving it a little squeeze. “Come on, they have really nice flowers,” he grinned.

“Isn't the girl supposed to be the one that’s excited about those things?” I asked him, letting him pull me.

“Let’s just say.. She’s special,” he chuckled.

My heart sank, but I kept my smile. “Hmm.. Wouldn’t have guessed,” I mumbled.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I smiled and we started looking around. We would constantly point out flowers at the side, and try to guess the names before looking at the plaque card that was displayed.

We decided to play hide and seek, which was really hard since the place was just crazy. I ended up at the fountains in the middle of the two similar mazes. I didn’t wanna go in there anymore.. I sat down facing the fountain, my feet tangled Indian style, so it wouldn’t touch the water.

I was just thinking about how life would be when Ryan does confess to her. What if she loves her back? How would it change Ryan and I’s relationship? Would we still be like this? I mean, Samantha wouldn’t have anything to be scared of anymore, right? Knowing that she’s got Ryan heads over heels over her?

I sighed, and looked up at the stars. “Why does it have to be like this?” I asked the stars.

“Boo!” I heard Ryan from behind me, lightly pushing me towards the water making me panic, but he held me back by the waist. “Why are you so serious?” he chuckled, sitting the normal way so he was facing me.

“Nothing. I was asking the stars why these mazes have to be so damn difficult,” I pouted and turned and sat the normal way.

“You didn’t even come to look for me,” he said.

“I was! And besides, the guy is supposed to be looking for the girl,” I smirked.

“Remember? She’s special,” he smiled at me.

“Let’s go. Its getting dark,” he said pulling me back to the gate we came in.

“Wait, how are you gonna be able to-,” he cut me off.

“Enough talking, more walking,” he said and pushed me into a taxi, telling the driver to go back to the hotel.



We arrived at the hotel, and we walked back to the Eiffel Tower, where it was now basically empty.

“What are we doing here?” I whispered to Ryan.

He just kept pulling me towards the bottom of the tower. “Why are you whispering?” he asked.

“It’s so.. Deserted,” I whispered.

He chuckled. His laugh seemed to echo. Or was that just me. “Relax. Come on. Yhe finale,” he said.

“Okay,” I uneasily said and we got to the bottom of the Eiffel Tower. I gasped at the sight. There was a table in the middle of a circle that was outlined by candles. The table had two plates and silverware on both sides of the plate, then wine glasses, and a candle light in the middle. It was such a romantic setting.

“Like?”

“Oh yeah,” I released a breath that I didn’t know I was holding.

“Shall we?” he asked. I just nodded and we walked towards the table, and he pulled out the seat for me. I mumbled a thanks, and he nodded making his way to his chair. “So, how do you like it?”

“I didn’t know you could be so.. romantic,” I chuckled nervously. My heart was beating rapidly at the moment.

“You’re blushing,” he grinned.

“It’s hot here,” I said fanning myself with my shirt. He just rolled his eyes and our food came in. I looked at it. “It’s not snail right?” I chuckled.

“I don’t think I’d let my girl eat snail,” he smirked. My heart skipped a beat.

“Good. Because she’d hate you,” I laughed and started to pick at my food, then took a bite. “Oh my fudge, this thing is good,” I laughed.

“You think she’d like it?”

“I think she’d be crazy not to,” I raised an eyebrow and took a drink of water.

We just ate and chatted for awhile. My nervousness was 90% gone. Well, up until Ryan walked over to a stool I didn’t notice. There was a guitar beside it. I raised an eyebrow and he motioned for the other stool in front of it. I shook my head, chuckling and did as he told me.

“It’s all part of the plan,” he said, and grabbed the guitar. He started plucking at the strings, and I recognized the tune.

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you meant me!

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I gasped again at how the beautiful the song was. “Wow,” I was almost in tears.

“You have to stop saying wow,” he smirked at me.

“What can I say? It’s beautiful,” I said looking at his eyes, seeing all the passion and love in them. My eyes were watering up, knowing that I wasn't the reason for that.

His face contorted into worry. “Are you okay?” he asked walking towards me.

“I’m fine, the song was just touching,” I smiled at him.

“So, those are tears of joy?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

“Tears? What-?” I felt my cheeks wet. “Oh, haha, yeah,” I lied.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, shall we proceed?” he asked.

I nodded, and some men took the stools away. I followed to where they went, and.. Wait, was that Samantha? I was about to ask Ryan, but a song started to play. “Drivin’ Myself Insane, Frankie J,” I smiled. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he said as he wound his arms around my waist, burying his face onto the crook of my neck.

“So, when are you planning to take this lucky girl out?” I asked him.

“Tonight,” he mumbled.

“How’s that gonna-?” he cut me off again.

“Less talking, more dancing,” he chuckled.

“You’re one weirdo,” I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes,” he mumbled.

“How would you-?”

“I know you that well,” he laughed, looking into my eyes.

“Good to know,” I chuckled and put my cheek against his chest. His heart was beating mega fast. I don’t know if it was just me or what, but that’s how it was. “So, what now?” I asked him.

“Now would be the time I’d tell her why I love her,” he said, his cheek against the crown of my head.

“Go on…,” I really didn’t wanna hear it, but at the same time, I wanna know what she had that I didn’t.

He took be deep breath. “This is gonna be a long list,” he warned. I chuckled lightly, afraid to speak. “Here it is,” he said and he started on his speech. “I’m gonna tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, that she has the most beautiful eyes that I get lost into and I love how it when I see the genuine personality that she has. How special she is. I’m gonna tell her how much I love that she has the softest hair that I love running my fingers through, and I love how selfless she is, and she takes care of everything and everyone else before herself. How much I love her laugh, that sounds like music to my ears. I love how she tilts her head to the side when she’s thinking or when she’s confused. And how she tilts her head back when she laughs.

I wanna tell her how much I care about her, and how much she makes me compare her to every girl that I’ve ever been with, and how much my friends tell me how freaking kick ass she is. I wanna tell her that I don’t care if the guys would call me whipped, because I am, and will be, because of her. I wanna tell her how much I love waking up in the morning, and seeing her next to me. I wanna tell her how much I love seeing her smile, and how much I love hearing her laugh. How much I love dancing with her in an empty room, and just talk.

I wanna tell her how much she pisses me off when she doesn’t take care of herself, and how I’m going insane due to the fact that she has me thinking about her every second of everyday. Thinking if she’s doing fine, thinking if she’s alright. I hate how she has me under her spell. I hate how I have to thrive and climb to get to her, when one smile from her, gives me the butterflies that I’ve never gotten. I wanna tell her that she’s the reason Trisha and I broke up, that Trisha gave me an ultimatum of choosing between her or Trisha, and I picked her. And how much it hurt me when I found out that she had a boyfriend already.

I wanna let her know how amazing she is. How that mysterious aura she has pulls me in. How much I love how unpredictable she is, and how she surprises me with things about her. How she’s so much of a guy, but at the same time such a girl. I love how she’s spontaneous, and so much of a dork. And how she has me thinking everyday, of what stunt she’ll pull, and keeps me curious. How she knows what to say to get me going, to get me heated up. And how she flirts with me, but fights with me at the same time. I wanna let her know how she’s the only one that can do that to me.

I wanna let her know how great she is that she gets along with my family, and how much her charm works. I wanna let her know how funny she is, and how weird and adorable she is. How interesting her taste of music is, because it has such a wide variety. How funny she can go from Avenged Sevenfold to listening to Hannah Montana, and she give shit about it what anyone says.

I wanna tell her how much it scares me when I’m away from her, and how much it scares me when she’s with other guys, when she looks at other guys. I wanna tell her how happy I am when I’m with her. How fast my heart beats because of her. How I’m willing to give up everything for her. I wanna tell her that I don’t even remember my life before I met her, and how she changed my life for the best, and I wouldn’t wanna be without her. I wanna let her know how much I care for her, and last but not least, tell her that I may be in love with her, because she’s not like the other girls,” he said panting. We stopped dancing already, and he was there looking at me, straight in my eyes, and I knew that if I didn’t leave now, tears of sorrow would be flowing down my cheeks, and he’d witness it.

And what would happen if he knew about my feelings for him? I have no fucking clue, but I'm sure I wont like it.

“I gotta go,” I said and broke away from his grasp, making a run for it, not knowing where, but I knew I needed to be away from him. She really was absolutely amazing, and there was no way I could compare to her. I stopped, when I thought I was far enough, and I guessed Ryan wouldn’t even bother running after me, and start looking for Ms. Perfect, I stopped, gasping for breath, and rain soaking me. “Great, just fucking great,” I mumbled.

“Why do you keep running away?” I heard somebody shout from behind me. I turned around quickly, and saw Ryan soaked as well. He was getting closer and closer. “Why is it that when something’s up, you don’t talk to me about it? You just run?” he asked me when he was closer.

“Hazelyn, you know that you could never compare to any of the girls that I’ve ever been with, right?” he asked me. “Fuck. You’ll never be as perfect as Melissa or hell, Trisha before all this drama happened.”

“I fucking get it. I’m never going to be like them and I don’t need you to spit it on my face,” I shook my head at him. “Go,” I said to him and attempted to walk away again. “I’m fine.”

“What did I tell you about lying?” he asked me. “I told you from the start, don’t lie to me,” he said. “I'll ask again, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I lied again.

He stood so close to me that I could feel his body heat. “I know you’re not,” he said to me. I thank the rain for covering up my tears. “Now, tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

I pushed him away. “What’s wrong? You wanna know what the fuck is wrong Dolciani?” I asked him. He just waited. “Well, what’s wrong is that you have this perfect girl that you’re fucking in love with. What’s wrong is that you got me going crazy. I hook you up with your long lost love, and you break up with her for some unknown girl that I never even met. I spend almost 24 hours a day with you, and not once have I met this girl, then one day you bring her over to a night out with our friends, and I find out that she’s like some kind of fucking Barbie doll.

What’s wrong is that I’m going insane trying to compete against her Ry! It hurts so fucking much that I know I couldn’t. She’s everything every guy could want, isn’t she? And you know what? I’m just upset at the fact that I know there’s now way that she’d even deny you because let’s face it! You’re fucking perfect Ryan. You could pull off an Abercrombie model look, along with being a bad boy. You’re every girl’s dream, Ryan. Seriously. You can't deny that.

It’s wrong that I want you all to myself when you have a girlfriend already, and you know how wrong that makes me feel? How I just want all your time and attention on me? I love how you comment on the smallest things, and how you remember the littlest details of our conversations. That’s terrible! I don’t know how somebody can get me so sprung.

What’s wrong is that as much as I’d want to hate you, I can't, because I’m fucking in love with you!” I shouted out to the rain.

“Hazelyn,” he stated calmly.

“There. I said it. That’s what you wanted right?” I cried, hitting my fists against his chest and pushed him away. I turned on my heel and wanted to leave, but he held me back.

Ryan pulled me back and the next thing I knew, Ryan’s lips were crashing against mine. It took me a minute to realize what was happening, and once I did, I responded to the kiss, putting my arms around his neck, running my hands through his hair as he had a hand on the small of my back, and the other one cupping my cheek.

I pulled back first. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled and turned my head away. “I’m done. I don’t need anymore pity from you Ry. It’s out in the open now. Let’s just forget about this yeah? And just go after her,” I smiled softly at him.

“I love you,” he said to me.

“I love you too! Now go,” I encouraged.

“I just did,” he said and wrapped an arm around my waist.

“What?”

“God Hazelyn, sometimes I wish you could be a little more selfish. I basically just poured out my heart to you and you didn’t even know it,” he said and crashed his lips against mine once again.

I pushed him away after awhile. “Wait, so, the practice thing was the real thing?” I asked, clearly confused.

“Yeah,” he grinned at me.

“You’re crazy,” I concluded.

“About you? Oh yeah,” he winked.

“You’re a dork,” I smiled, hitting him playfully on the chest.

“I’m your dork,” he smiled. “And by the way, I already knew,” he grinned.

“What? Since when?” I frowned.

“Since London.”

“What?! How?!”

“You seriously think I’d sleep in the middle of a garden with you next to me?” he asked me, smirking.

My eyes widened, and I stomped away. “This is so humiliating!” I grumbled.

He caught up with me and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Why are you humiliated?” he asked.

“Because!” I whined.

“Don’t be humiliated,” he said resting his forehead against mine again.

“How can I not be?” I glared at him, pulling back but he put a hand behind my neck, keeping me in the position.

“Because I love you,” he smiled at me.

“So, you knew and you acted like you didn’t know…,” I started.

He looked away, and scratched the back of his neck. By this time, that gesture showed that he was nervous. “I wanted to hear you say it, when you knew I was actually listening,” he said, looking at me shyly.

I beamed. “You’re so adorable!” I pinched his cheeks.

“Yeah and just like you, it means I’m about to kiss somebody too,” he grinned and kissed me again.