Last Flight Home

I went back to my dorm after Alex left me on the swing. I couldn’t believe that he had a… girlfriend. Well there was no reason for him not to. It had been over four years… he couldn’t wait for me forever… well I waited for him…

I jumped onto my bed and wrapped myself in the blankets around me. My eyes became wet and seeped into the blanket. I just wanted to leave Baltimore now. I was so excited to come back but I should have known that this would have happened. I just didn’t want to believe it.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up seeing that it was the person that I didn’t want to talk to.

He sent me a text message that read:

“Open your door.”

What the hell? I was kind of nervous to open my door. Plus, I didn’t want to talk to him if I knew that the idea of his girlfriend would come into the picture.

Another text:

“Please.”

I took a deep breath in and got up from the bed. I sluggishly moved my feet to the door and unlocked it. I slowly opened it and there he was.

Alex had his hands pushed into his pockets and his eyes crept through the strands of hair in his face. “Hi.”

“Hey,” I answered back.

“Can I come in?” he asked with a slight smile on his face.

I nodded my head and moved my body for him to pass through. I shut the door behind him and took another deep breath in from what was about to happen.

He sat on my bed and explored the room with his eyes, “Where are your roommates?”

“Not here,” I replied to his question.

Alex focused in on my photography and stared at all the photos that hung on the wall for a while until I broke his concentration. “Look Alex, I’m not in the mood to do this so please-“

“No,” Alex grunted, “I want to talk to you about what happened earlier.”

Shit.

“Alex,” I sighed, “what’s done is done. You are a great guy and you deserve to have a girlfriend. Its not like you could wait around for me forever.”

“I want to apologize for it,” he grimaced, “I didn’t know how to react after we stopped talking. It tore me apart. I feel so ashamed of letting it happen. When there was no sign of you anywhere, I figured that you might have moved on too. Plus the music thing got in the way and it was hard for me to juggle. So I tried to cheer myself up by being in a relationship because it reminded me of you but the girls never compared.”

“That’s fine Alex,” I told him as I sat down on the bed, “You don’t have to apologize for it. I completely understand.”

I tried to stay calm and under control. It was definitely hard to fight back the tears.

Alex scooted closer to me on the bed and rested his hand on mine. His touch was even better than I remembered.

“I wish things were different,” he whispered, “I thought that we would never see each other again. I didn’t know what to do when I first saw you tonight. My heart raced when I saw your beautiful face again.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen,” I confirmed.

“Stay with me forever,” Alex confessed when his eyes were on mine.

I could feel it and there was no holding back. Tears ran from my eyes and onto my blushing cheeks.

He took his rough hands and wiped the tears away. Déjà vu to when I was moving away…

“Alex… stop,” I demanded with a soft voice. I couldn’t believe that I was doing this. “You have a girlfriend. I’m not yours. Go to her and not me.”

“But Blake-“ Alex screeched under his breath.

“I’m here for college and that’s what I’m supposed to do,” I explained, “not to ruin people’s lives. You have your music and I have my photography. There’s no changing the past and now its completely different from what I wanted to be. Now that I’m back in Baltimore, I just can’t pick up where we left off. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Blake listen to me,” Alex butted in.

“No Alex,” I denied, “I had four years that I waited to listen to you but it didn’t end that way.”

I paused for a moment, “I think you should leave.”

He sat there in awe and until finally he walked out of my room and left me there.

I closed the door behind him and slid down the door to rest my body into a ball. I put my head against my arms and cried even harder than before.

The love of my life just walked out on me and it’s all because of what I did.

What did I just do?