Take a Sad Song and Make It Better

Bailey's POV

The more time I spent around everyone, the more I grew to like them. They were all so great and after two weeks, Jack was growing on me too. His annoying dick jokes at lunch were becoming amusing and our (mostly his) daily chats in painting class were slowly starting to get entertaining. Though Jack was light hearted with almost everything he said, there were times that he really got under my skin.

Jack and I were very different from each other. I wouldn’t even say opposite, because it wasn’t even that. We just were in no way like one another.

“So, Alex walks on stage,” Jack started a new story of his. “He forgets his guitar and walks back over to the side where Matt was holding the guitar for him. He grabs it and walks back out and everyone was kind of ya know, booing his ass off, and then he trips on a chord that was laying around and falls and breaks his guitar!” Jack’s mouth was moving so fast, I barely heard what he was saying. I squinted my eyes in confusion, trying piece his words together in my head as he talked. Wednesday had finally ended, and Jack and I were walking to meet everyone at the front of the school, Jack’s lips moving a mile a minute the entire way. “And if breaking the neck of his guitar isn’t bad enough, the busted neck jabbed in to his chest and he broke a rib!” Jack burst out laughing and I laughed along, not really knowing what he was talking about but didn’t want him to feel bad.

I’m sure he was going to go in to an even longer story, about the hospital and every single event that happened that day, so I prepared myself for a long trip through the halls.

“Oh that reminds me!” Jack said his lose lips flailing. “Zack and Alex broke the same exact rib! Well of course not at the same time, but still! What a coinkydink huh?” Jack’s voice echoed through the hall, but it was Jack. No one cared. Still, I felt my face redden.

I blinked slowly, readying myself for the next random burst as we walked past the freshmen lockers.

“Heyyo, fuckers!” Alex said loudly and smacked Jack’s butt and “missed” mine as he passed us in the hallway to stop at his locker quickly before he met up with us later.

“YOU’RE SO SEXY! ALEXANDER WILLIAM GASKARTH IS MY BITCH!”

I gave Jack a glower as my face reddened, again, but Jack was still giving one of his weird, sexy faces to Alex.

He turned to me and randomly snatched a chuck of my hair and held it under his nose as a moustache. “Hello! I’m Hulk Hogan! Rawr.”

I chuckled lightly and yanked my hair away from him.

“What the hell were you just doing?” Kaylie asked as she joined me and Jack waiting at the entrance for everyone to show up. “Were you just sucking on Bailey’s hair?”

“Who was sucking on what?!” Jade yelled obnoxiously when she approached us.

“Sucking? Sounds sexy,” Rian commented, with Kara by his side.

“Bailey. You know her and her ways!” Jack said sarcastically, throwing his arm around my shoulder. “Hey! Alex!” Jack yelled down the hallway. “I see your sexy ass from here! Get your motherfuckin ass over here, boy!”

“Jack!” an unfamiliar looking teacher knowing him on a first name basis scolded. “Language! I don’t want to see you in the office today. I want to get out of here…” the teacher muttered as she walked away.

“Whatever Miss B. You know you love me,” Jack said in a baby voice. “Miss B” didn’t turn around or even acknowledge his comment.

“You don’t love me?!” Alex whined.

“I love Jazz!” Jack said, hugging me unwillingly deep in to his chest.

“W-What?” Jade and I said at the exact same time.

“I said,” he raised his voice dramatically. “I love Jazz!”

That name, rolling off his tongue, just gave me the shivers. Jade looked at me with intent, but stayed quiet and shifted. She obviously felt it too. I backed out of Jack’s arms quickly. No one was really paying attention; Rian was talking separately to Melanie and Kara. Kaylie listened lazily, unaware like Jack, that I felt uncomfortable. And Alex stood next to Jade, anxiously waiting my reaction.

“Why…did you call me that?” I asked quietly. No one but Jay called me Jazz now. I had never thought of it before, but I didn’t want anyone calling me that. I never thought about the nickname I was given such a long time ago, but it didn’t sound right coming out of anyone else’s mouth.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, not knowing what to feel. I didn’t really have an emotion; not angry or upset, annoyed or distressed. I think I was just shocked. I looked towards Jade, wondering what to feel and wondering how she reacted.

I wasn’t surprised at Jade as much as I was at Alex. A glimmer in his eye shined in to mine. Somehow I felt him sympathize for me, for some reason.

The awkward silence was finally noticed and everyone looked around to see what was happening.

“What? What did I say?” Jack asked confused.

“…Jack,” Alex warned uneasy.

“Just don’t call me that okay?” I said sternly.

“Call you what? Jazz? Jazzy Jazz? Jazz Records? Jazz?”

“Jack. Stop,” Alex said again.

My stomach felt perturbed. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?” he asked perplexed, caught off guard by the water that was becoming noticeable in my eyes, seeing it before I could blink it away.

“Just don’t.” I looked at Jade, the tension rising. “I’ll catch you guys at home alright?”

==========

It was getting chilly out, so I slipped on my yellow hoodie as I walked down the winding sidewalk back home by myself. A couple leaves fell in my path and I zigzagged down the road, going out of my way to step on all the crunchy ones.

I loved that I had finally felt comfortable again at school. Monday, I was getting home from school and happy, two days later, school is out and I was back in to the troubled feeling with quivers under my skin.

Why was I so bothered? It’s wasn’t like I deemed “Jazz” a special name for Jade to call me. And why was Alex so defensive? It was like he could read me and Jade’s faces. I just wasn’t used to anyone else calling me that. It seemed so normal for Jade, her voice they only one that was familiar to my ears.

I turned a corner and my house was finally in sight. Walking home was long and somewhat boring 40 minutes, but it felt good to walk at a slow pace and think about things.

As I came up to my driveway, I heard a familiar scratch of wood against the pavement and clap in the air and after, a rolling, bumpy sound of wheels rotating around as they turned over the gravel on the street behind me. I started reminiscing about the skate park back home from when I was little as I walked up the steep hill.

“Bailey!” I was pulled out of my nostalgic thoughts and looked around to see who was calling my name.

“Hey, Zack,” I said and jogged over to him. He hopped off his skateboard and stuck it under his arm and smiled down at me as a salutation. “You skateboard?”

“Hell yeah. Love it!” I laughed. “Well and, I don’t have a car. How am I supposed to eat Matt out of house and home? Gotta get around somehow.”

“Totally know what you mean,” I agreed as I led him across the street and to my house. “Our car broke down and we don’t have enough money to fix it.”

“Sucks.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Speaking of Matt, doesn’t he usually drive you home?”

I slipped off my shoes along with Zack when we stepped in the house. Shifting around in my socks awkwardly, I looked up at him and shrugged. “I guess I just wanted to walk home today.”

Zack stared at me for a couple seconds, trying to decide if he really wanted to believe my answer. “…Understandable. You think the rest of them will be home soon?”

I walked in to the T.V. room and we sat down next to each other on the couch. “Who knows? They can talk for hours. About nothing.” Zack laughed at my response and scooted even closer to me than before and as he started flipping through channels, I forced myself to start a conversation so I wouldn’t get tongue-tied. So we chatted aimlessly for a while, mostly catching up, since we don’t see each other at school.

“We’re home!” Jade’s voice floated through the doorway almost an hour later.

“T.V. room,” I called back bored. I saw Jade walk in, but then a parade followed in after. “Hello sister…and followers.”

“What up girls,” Alex said to me and Zack, causing Zack to pounce up and wrestle Alex to the ground as a greeting back.

“Do you guys have popcorn? Or grapes? I’m hungry for popcorn. Or grapes,” Kaylie asked, not even waiting for a response and wondering into the kitchen.

“Oo, Lost!” Melanie said excitedly, hopping over the back of the couch and plopping down next to me. “I love this show!”

I smiled and got up to get a glass of water and Jack followed me in to the kitchen. “Bailey.” I looked up at him, allowing him to go on. “Look, I’m sorry okay? I didn’t know saying…that…would upset you.”

I looked up at Jack tiredly. I was fed up with forgiving him. Almost every day, he would think I was annoyed with him in class and apologize ceaselessly, or when I got pissed because he asked me what was wrong or brought unwanted attention to me, he wouldn’t let up until I said it was all good. “Its fine, Jack. You didn’t know. Hell, I didn’t even know, so let’s just drop it, kay?”

“Sure thing, Baybay. I guess I kind of realized when Alex talked to me in the car about how you get upset easily sometimes,” he rambled. He obviously didn’t understand what I meant by “drop it.” “Jade’s not like that…why are you?” he asked bluntly.

I exhaled frustrated. Kaylie stood at the microwave, listening to our conversation.

“Don’t worry about it, Jack.” I wanted to go back to joking around with him; he made me uptight sometimes with his constant questions.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Jack, drop it! I’m fine, leave it alone!” As soon as I yelled the words out, I regretted it. Jack’s eyes turned mushy and I could tell he felt bad but he didn’t stop.

“Why do you always do that? I just want to talk! I like to talk,” he said defensively. I’ve never seen him get offended before like he was doing now.

“I know, but sometimes you just talk too much.”

“I just want to make you happy…”

“Well don’t.”

“Why not?!” he asked, getting annoyed. I had never seen the “serious” Jack and I’m sure Jack had never seen the “tough” Bailey before either.

I felt the anger bubbling up from the past two weeks of Jack constantly asking me shallow questions about my life. “You-You-You just push and prod in to my life! You never leave me alone! Just stop caring!!”

Even though we were in the kitchen, I knew everybody else heard me. The entire house was quiet and I shifted my weight to my left foot clumsily, knowing everyone in the other room was extending an ear to hear what would happen, the T.V. muted.

Jack studied my face. This time he didn’t have a witty remark and funny joke to take my mind away from my annoyance. I sort of felt bad after seeing how he reacted. It was stupid of me to think Jack would stop caring. He was just that kind of person; clingy and expressive. He was always animated so it made sense that someone like me, quiet and “scared” as Zack said, would make him wonder what was wrong with me. I remembered Rian telling me once that Jack just liked everyone to be cheerful. That’s what he was trying to do all the time; make me laugh and get me to let loose. But every time I was with Jack, all his questions and digging made me want to get further away.

I didn’t mind when he joked with me carelessly or played around immaturely, it was when he always cared too much that bugged me. Most people used to ask me how I was feeling or why I was feeling the way I was without really caring. It was just something they said as conversation filler with me. And it bugged me, just like Jade; when people think they want to know what’s really bothering me and think they know what I’m feeling.

Jack wasn’t like that, but I was so used to everyone else’s antics, that I just blocked out Jack too, allowing him to only scratch the surface. Kind of a natural instinct I guess, to assume that they really don’t care.

After thinking about it, I felt like the worst person in the world. I looked at Jack speechless. Now would be a great time for you to talk?! He stayed silent.

“Hey kids!” A new voice flowed through the house. We all breathed a sigh of relief when the tension was let up and Clara finally walked in. “I thought you might have your friends over, so I picked up pizza.”

Not knowing who should speak first, the three in the kitchen or the six eavesdroppers in the T.V. room, a silence loomed in the air for a moment.

“Uh yeah!” Jade’s voice cracked, sounding a little too forced to be excited. “That’s awesome! Thanks, Clara.”

“Pizza!” I heard Alex and Zack say at the same time as the marched in the kitchen, practically sticking their noses in the air to follow sent that was trailing Clara.

I looked at Jack one more time sadly and he had the same reflection in his eye with a hint of irritation, but quickly shook it off and turned away from me and proceeded to stick his tongue like a dog then start talking with an Italian accent jokingly to everyone else.

I couldn’t tell what was going to happen next. Was he just going to forget that I had yelled and shot him down; belittling him and making him feel bad? He really shouldn’t have felt bad per se, because I had enough of that covered. I had never lashed out like I did there, but pushing Jack away just felt natural, just like it did with everyone else.