Take a Sad Song and Make It Better

Jade's POV

“Alex, you have to let me up,” I whispered, pushing on the boy's shoulder to wake him but to no avail; Alex wasn't moving at all. The thing was, we both knew he was awake-- hell it was hard not to see that he was clearly awake— but he just wanted me to stay in bed a little longer. I sighed, falling back against the the pillows once more, my head turning to look at him as a small smirk filled his lips, “You jerk.”

“Not a jerk,” He sang softly, tightening his grip around my waist. Kissing his lips, I tried to pry away his hands from me, tugging at his fingers as they dug closer into the skin on my back, “Nuh uh.” He mumbled into my lips, a groan passing through mine.

“Alex, come on. I promised Rian and Matt I'd hang with them today.”

“Can't they wait five minutes?” Alex asked, opening his eyes to stare into mine. He knew exactly what look to give me to get my use of the word no almost obsolete.

“They've been waiting for almost 20, babe.”

“They're downstairs?!”

“Well, no, they're at Matt's, but they've called a few times to tell me to hurry my ass up. So, let go so I can get dressed,” I slapped the side of his arm a couple of times, Alex groaning before finally releasing me from his grasp.

“”Who am I supposed to cuddle with now?” Alex asked, sitting up in bed, his bare chest exposed with the blankets draped over his waist.

“Jack.”

“He's probably with Melanie today. They had a plan to hang out today. Fuckers.”

“How about Zack?”

Alex scoffed, “Please, we all know he's secretly having sex with your sister.” I didn't say anything on the contrary to his statement mainly because I didn't have any information to support a different argument. Zack and Bailey sure seemed to spend a lot of time together and were always falling behind the group, disappearing for moments on end and no one knew where to. They definitely changed in behavior around each other and it was kind of becoming difficult to try to figure out what the two were up to.

“Fine, cuddle with your mom. I'm sure she'd really appreciate it.”

“Bite me,” Alex snapped, a laugh in his voice as he pulled back the blankets revealing his boxer clad legs.

“If you say so.”

I walked across the room, straddling Alex's legs with a smirk on my face. I bent my head down, attaching my lips to Alex's neck, moans eliciting from Alex's mouth as I nipped at the skin, trailing kisses from the bottom of his jaw to the hollow of his throat. His hands left the fabric of my bedspread, climbing their way up from my bare legs, passed my pajama shorts, and continuing up my t-shirt till they were gripping onto the skin on my curves.

Detaching my lips from his neck, I looked down into Alex's eyes, just barely having enough time to study them before his mouth attached to my neck. There was a cloud covering his pupils which really made me wonder exactly what it was. I was used to lust covering the eyes of the men I had been with before, but Alex was different, he had always been different. It wasn't lust I saw in his eyes, it was a completely different emotion altogether, one I had never seen and it worried me that I couldn't figure it out. Before I could really process what it was, Alex was nipping and sucking at the skin on my neck, a moan crashing through my lips as I began to run my hands through his hair, pulling slightly on the roots. Alex pulled back, picking up the hem of my flimsy white tank top, looking back into my eyes for confirmation as he continued to lift up the fabric. I smiled, taking his hands in mine, helping him to slowly yank the article of clothing over my head, He tossed the tank top away, looking over my body slowly with the same cloud in his eyes.

“You should probably...get going to...Matt's,” Alex stuttered out, looking up at me.

“They can wait a few more minutes.”

And just like that my lips were on his, our mouths moving against the others with the same fervor we both put into the kiss. Alex gripped an arm around my waist, the other helping to turn us over so that he was hovering over my body continuing to kiss me with all he possessed. I don't know what I was kissing him with and I don't know why I suddenly never wanted to leave the safety of Alex's arms again, but the introduction of sudden emotionally attachment to any other person besides my sister scared the living shit out of me. Alex trailed his hands from down my down my waist, his lips following down the arch of my jaw and down my throat. The pads of his fingers stopped just at the hem of my pajama shorts, his kisses covering the skin of my stomach, a moan falling from my lips. He detached his mouth from above my belly button, looking up into my eyes, the cloud still there as they flicked from my shorts back up to my eyes. I immediately understood what he was implying and my breathing hitched in my throat.

“I thin-think I need to meet Rian and Matt now,” I whispered, stuttering slightly over my words as I jumped so fast from under Alex, leaving both him and I dazed beyond all belief. I raced into my closet, grabbing another tank top and a pair of jeans, pulling both on and rushing out of the room and into the bathroom.

“Jade, I'm sorry,” Alex tried to get me to look at him as I applied my make up hurriedly, brushing my teeth and hair right after. I just needed to...leave, “Jade, I-I think I-Jade, I...I think I might be in-”

“Alex, I have to go,” I cut him off, kissing him quickly before rushing out of the room, grabbing a hoodie and my sneakers, slipping both on before rushing out the door and over to Matt's house where he and Rian were sitting on the porch laughing.

“Hey, Jade,” Matt smiled over at me, hugging me for a second before I went over to Rian, embracing him as well, “Ready to go?” I nodded, following the two boys over to the older's car, getting in the back and letting him drive us to wherever the two had planned, not once glancing back up to my window where I knew for a fact that familiar head of coffee-colored hair was looking down at me, a sullen expression on his face.

“So, nice hickey, Jade,” Rian teased once again as he and Matt chuckled on the other side of the table. I rolled my eyes once more, taking a sip from my root beer.

“Ha ha guys. Like you haven't been talking about it for the past half hour,” I sarcastically replied, putting down my drink and pulling my hair over my neck to cover the purplish blotch that I had acquired this morning.

“Well, maybe you shouldn't be having early morning make out sessions with your boyfriend so early in the morning,” Matt countered, lifting his eyebrows for a second, a smirk placing itself on his lips.

“Suck a dick.”

“Are you offering?” Matt asked, a laugh following his words.

“Die.”

“Only if you come with me,” Rian choked out, grinning over at me.

“Why am I here,” I asked, starting to slide out of the booth before Matt's hand grabbed mine, catching my attention.

“What is up with you? You're not acting like yourself,” Matt asked, a quizzical look in his eyes.

“I'm just...stressed about,” I searched my mind for a cover up to the reality as to what I was actually worried about-- Alex, “um, Bailey. She seems... I don't know.”

“Different?” Rian suggested, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah. Like, she spends all her time with Zack now and, both of them are really....different.” I was glad Rian took the change in topic so well and glad that neither boy questioned the look on my face when I lied about the cloud in Alex's eyes that still haunted my immediate memory.

“Yeah, they sure were acting...strange when I saw them the other day,” Rian muttered, taking a sip from his glass of Diet Coke.

“How?” Matt asked, looking over at his mop-haired friend.

“Well, Bailey was walking on her pants, feeding me some excuse about how...fuck I can't even remember. Then I look into her room and there's Zack, sitting on her bed, without a shirt.”

“Where was his shirt?” Matt asked, raising his eyebrow as his eyes flicked between me and Rian, both of us giving each other the same look: anticipation mixed with a little indifference.

“Downstairs, in the hallway, with some of Bailey's clothes as well,” Rian answered, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he looked between the older boy sitting at the table and myself. The only thought running through my mind right now was the fact the Alex could be right. Maybe my sister was hooking up with the muscle induced blond boy. Maybe I didn't know everything that was going on in my sister;s life. She wasn't telling me everything, like we used to.

Rian and Matt chatted some more, my mind blanking out everything around me as I thought about my sister and Zack. Were they together or were they just hooking up behind my back. At least she knew about Alex and I spending nights together. Would she ever tell me? Should I ask her about what was going on between her and Zack? Would she even tell me then if I confronted her face to face? I didn't know anymore. I didn't know my own sister anymore.

“...and Kaylie's really broken up about it.” My mind fought back into reality, my head snapping up to meet the faces of the two boys in front of me.

“What's going on with Kaylie?” I asked, looking between Matt and Rian.

“Didn't you hear?” Rian asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. I shook my head, “She and Adam broke up.”

My mind stopped. Adam and Kaylie could define the perfect couple. They completed each other, regardless of how cheesy that sounded. On many occasion, Alex and I had been compared to Kaylie and Adam, but now that their relationship was broken, what did that mean for my relationship with Alex? Was it destined to fail as well?

“Jade, you okay?” Matt asked, grabbing my hand from across the table, squeezing it slightly in his.

Hesitantly, I nodded softly, not making eye contact with the two boys across the table, “Uh, yeah. I just...Kaylie and Adam were, amazing together.”

“They were, but sometimes relationships don't work the way you want them to,” Rian shrugged, taking a bite out of the sandwich in front of him, “But now that I think about, you and Alex are the couple in the group. Seriously you two are like...perfect together.” Looking over at Matt, I saw a slight spark hit his eyes, one that I couldn't place but I was pretty sure he was thinking the same thing as me: they had said that about the relationship that just ended.

“Kaylie and Adam were perfect too, remember?” I stated, tracing my finger around the rim of my glass, pushing away the chicken finger plate away from me. I just felt...sick all of a sudden.

“Well, yeah but, they obviously aren't together anymore.”

“I think I'm gonna head out,” I muttered, sliding out of the booth as the boys did the same, standing in front of me.

“Do you want me to drive you?” Matt asked, pulling me into a quick hug.

I shook my head, “I just...I need to be....alone.”

I always needed to be alone. I always needed to run away from my emotions, from stress, from anything that plagued my mind and made life complicated. That's what I thought about when I walked out of the restaurant and toward the park across the street. I thought about running away. I thought about a lot of things but that was at the forefront of my mind, running away. I thought about running away as I pulled out my phone and dialed the familiar number. I thought about running away as the dial tone stopped and a voice answered.

“Jade? Hey.” The male's voice filled my ear drum with a smile in the tone of the way he said it.

I smiled as well, drinking in the nostalgia of his familiarity, “Bryan, hey. I missed you man. Tell me all about Essex.”

“Well...” And I considered running right then. Running back to Essex. I seriously considered it, listening to my friend tell me all about life back home.

My real home.