You're Holding My Heart

Weeks went by fast which was good to me, Rob came back tired but relieved because he just wanted to be by my side. Today we were going to meet up with the producers and directors of New Moon and Eclipse to discuss my health and how all of this could be managed.

“What if they want to replace me?” I asked looking into Robert’s eyes as he placed a milkshake, fruit and cereals in front of me.

“Don’t be silly. No one else can be Bella.” He smiled kissing my forehead as he prepared his breakfast.

Robert had been taking care of me, he cooked, he cleaned and he went with me to the Chemo. He didn’t complain and he didn’t let me do anything. Unfortunately the side effects were starting to kick-in and my hair was slowly starting to fall, the moment to cut it shorter was approaching.

“Kristen could be.” I spoke as I looked at the floor.

“Look at me.” Rob said placing his hand in my chin pushing it up so our eyes met “I don’t want to hear you say that ever again. Nobody can replace you.” He said seriously, his eyes sparkling they were tearing up.

I closed my eyes and slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and he softly picked me up sitting me in his lap.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so insecure.” I said tears running down my cheeks.

“I’m not mad.” Rob said wiping them away with his thumb gently as he kissed my cheek. “I love you and I’m with you. That will never change.” He said smiling as he kissed me sweetly on the lips.

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I grabbed Rob’s hand tighter and he answered with a kiss on my head as we entered a kind-of conference room. Everyone was already sitting down and the room went silent once they saw me, I knew I didn’t look the same but with a little make-up I didn’t look that bad.

“How are you?” Stephanie asked as I sat down in front of her.

“Good thank you.” I smiled as Rob sat beside me, our hands lever letting go of each other.

People around the world knew about my health, it was actually one of the most discussed topics especially between the fans and celebrities. I had been receiving more fan mail than ever before and I felt grateful that I had so many people supporting me.

“Well we all know why we are here… I’d like to pass the word to our dead Patrícia.” Peter said.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen. By now you all know that I have cancer, it’s rare and I’m already being submitted to treatment, Chemo. I asked for this meeting to assure you that my health will not interfere with my work. I will finish the Twilight Saga I promise you that.”

Slowly every face started to show a smile and one of the producers stood up.

“We never doubted you Paty, we all know you and you’re a fighter so we never even considered the possibility of a replacement.” His words truly touched my heart, and I nodded as he nodded back.

“So now to discuss your schedule because we can’t overload you with work.” Another producer said.

The meeting went for another 2 hours and once Rob and I got out, I took a deep breath and smiled widely closing my eyes.

“See? I told you!” Rob said excitedly as I pulled him into a hug.

“I’m so happy.” I said tears slipping from my eyes.

“Please don’t cry…” Rob said as I kissed his lips sweetly and he pulled me closer to him.

In that moment I felt that nothing could harm me because he was protecting me.

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“Are you sure?” I laughed as I followed Rob into the kitchen.

“Of course, you’ll be surprised at how good I am at cooking!” Rob said seriously as I sat down still smiling.

He decided to do something that looked like pasta, he refused any help and it took ages until we could actually eat.

“So?” He asked proud of himself.

“Well after 2 hours and half I must say I’m surprised. Le Chef Róbert!” I said with a French accent as Robert laughed but then took a deep breath and just sat there looking at me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as he stood up and took my hand.

We stopped in the living room and Rob went looking for some CD because he was messing with the stereo.

“What are we doing here?” I asked with a puzzled look.

Suddenly a soft, slow music started and I smiled as Rob came towards me and placed a hand in my waist and grabbed the other.

“I just missed dancing with you. I know this is cheesy but I really missed it.” He said as we danced slowly and I smiled widely resting my head in his shoulder as he pushed me closer, planting a soft kiss in my neck.

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Weeks later

We were back on set to finish the shooting, the scenes with the Volturi where done and today was going to be one of the hardest for me: the scene in the forest with Bella, Jacob and Edward. I didn’t want to face Taylor but I had to be professional and so did Robert even though he wanted to beat him.

My hair was short now even shorter than Alice’s but I didn’t mind, it was a good chance. I wasn’t moody or feeling sick today so it was going to be a good day and I had even grown accustomed to the wig I had to wear.

I stepped outside being greeted by the chilly wind while a production assistant took me to the place where the scene was going to be shot. Rob was already there, paler than usual and with his contacts on, he instantly smiled as he came to help me.

“I’m alright hun.” I smiled but he insisted smiling back.

That’s when I noticed Taylor next to a tree, in his mark observing us intently.

“It will be quick, I’m with you.” Rob reassured as I took a deep breath and squeezed his arm before we got into our marks.

After the stunt crew made sure everything was secure the scene started with me and Rob walking inside the forest, finding Taylor leaning against a tree. The dialog started with both of me acting well, almost too well and too real I had a feeling they were pushing reality into their characters and once again I felt like Bella. Just like her I loved Robert but I didn’t want to hurt Taylor, as much as he insisted.

The discussion over the Treaty and Bella’s choice began.

“We’re done here.” Robert stated coldly as he started to push me away but Taylor came behind and pushed me by my other arm.

“You don’t speak for her.” He said glaring at Robert.

Robert groaned and pushed him away, thanks to the stunts Taylor ‘flied’ ten feet in the air and from then on we had to imagine him as a giant wolf. Edward got in position to ‘start’ fighting him but I placed myself between them yelling for them to stop. The scene went on until the emotional part in which Bella tries to calm Jacob down I slowly walked towards him, until we were face to face.

“Jacob, I love you. You’re my best friend but… I can’t change my feelings. Please don’t make me choose because if you do, I’ll chose him. He will always be my choice.” I said quietly, almost in a whisper.

Taylor’s expression was of pure hurt and stiffness.

“But you know how important you…” I started but Taylor cut me off running away, like in the script and I was left there fighting my characters feelings with my own.

Robert approached continuing the loving dialog until we ended the scene leaving the forest hand in hand. A few seconds later everyone started clapping and I felt slightly dizzy, Robert supported me right away.

“Are you alright?” He asked trying to be discrete.

“Yes I just felt slightly dizzy.” I smiled as he reluctantly let me go.

I noticed that Taylor was anywhere to be found and now we all had approximately 3 weeks to go to premieres and then we’d start shooting Eclipse.

“I’m going to change.” I said.

“I’ll wait for you.” Rob smiled kissing my cheek.

I started towards my trailer when I saw Taylor there probably waiting for me.

“Taylor?” I called and his eyes shot up, he still looked hurt.

“Look I want to clear everything up…” I started “You’re my friend and I don’t want to lose what we have.” I said.

“It’s incredible… You were truly made to play Bella.” Taylor smiled “I know where I stand when it comes to Robert, I won’t insist anymore. But don’t ask me to be your friend like before, I can’t right now. Maybe someday. I’ll do everything to make you happy.” Taylor said as tears went down my cheeks and I stepped forward hugging him tightly, he hugged me back just as tight.

When we pulled away he was smiling.

“I’ll see you soon.” And with that he was gone.