You're The Only One

Jon's POV

Was I really going to do this?  

I was so nervous, I felt sick to my stomach. 

I stood outside Spencer's door debating weather to knock, or flee like the chicken I am. 

I decided that it would probably be better to wait. Maybe I should talk to Brendon or something first, because honestly I have no idea what to say. 

I can't just go up and be like "OHAI SPENCE! I LEFT MY WIFE CUZ I LOVE YOU AND IM GAY!" 

No. That just wouldn't work. 

Wait is Spence even gay?

Just as I was about to stop my internal blabbering and walk away, the door opened. Spencer stood there giving me a weird look. 

"You know, most people knock when they want inside, not just stand there expecting me to read their minds." 

Damn. It's too late. Might as well do it now. 

I hope I don't puke. 

I didn't respond to him. I just stood there awkwardly for a moment, before walking into Spencer's place.

I walked in and sat on the couch. "Right. Hey Jon! Why don't you come in and sit down!" he said sarcastically shutting the door. 

"Uh sorry." i said leaning forward resting my arms on my knees. Suddenly the carpet became very interesting. There was a strange purple stain in the light brown carpet. 

"Okay… what happened? You look scared shitless." he observed sitting down across from me on the couch.

Duh. That's because I was. 

"Kaela still not letting you in the house?" he asked. 

"Are you gay?" I blurted out. 

He looked taken aback. 

"What? What the hell are you-" 

"Spence..." I cut him off in a serious tone. He stopped talking and looked at me with a look that said "You're insane and I'm worried." 

"…Kaela and I are splitting up." I mumbled. His eyes widened. 

"What? All because of what happened at the hotel?" He asked in disbelief. 

"Well not exactly-"

"I mean, you guys have a baby! How old is she? Five, six months? That's ridiculous! You can't just get a divorce over something so petty and stupid! You guys are parents, you can't just leave Isabella-"

"SPENCER!" I exclaimed trying to get his attention. He didn't get it. 

"What?!" 

"Spence… it's not about that… it-it's something more serious." I mumbled. His expression turned to that of concern. 

"Jon, what happened?" he moved one seat over, so he was closer to me, and placed his hand on my back. I had my head in my hands, and was holding back tears. 

"Spencer, I'm gay." I choked. His expression turned to that of shock. 

"What?" he almost whispered. "I mean, are you sure? How do you know?" he remained very calm and stable. Definitely not what I was expecting. I was expecting some huge blow up, with him telling me how stupid I was being, and some rant about how irresponsible I was being. 

"I…" I'm in love with you "I think I'm in love with someone else. Someone that's not… a girl." I explained. 

He sighed but didn't push the issue. "How did Kaela take it when you told her?" he asked. 

"She was upset. I had Bren and Ryan there with me for support. She didn't seem mad, just shocked mostly. Ryan stayed with her after I left to make sure she was okay." I explained. 

He nodded. "So you like someone else huh?" he said after a pause. 

I nodded. 

"Care to share?" he pressed. I didn't respond. 

"Come on!" he exclaimed. "You gotta tell your best friend these things." he said with a smirk on his face. 

"You sound like a teenage girl." I laughed. He completely brought me out of my bad mood. One of the reasons I love him so much. He can do that. He always makes me smile, even when I'm in the shittiest of situations. He's always there for me when I need him, even if he acts like it bugs him, I know it doesn't. He's just a drama queen. Then there's that cute smile of his, his beautiful blue eyes, and his beard that he just refuses to shave. There's his need to care and be there for all of his friends and loved ones, and not to mention, he's a kick-ass drummer.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I wasn't thinking about what I was saying until it had already escaped my mouth like word vomit. 

"I love you." My eyes widened when I realized what I did. 

He just raised his eyebrow. 

"Uh, yeah Jonny, I love you too. Now spill." 

I rolled my eyes. He didn't get it. Which is a good thing I guess? That means I can put this off longer. What the hell was I thinking, coming over here in the first place? 

I didn't respond. Only by shaking my head. 

"Fine. If I guess will you tell me?" 

I sighed. "Fine." it's not like he'll guess anyway.

He had a mischievous look on his face. "Is it… Pete?" 

I think I threw up a little. "Gross! Hell no!" I exclaimed. He laughed. 

"Hmmm. Joe?"

"No." 

"Shane?"

"Nooooo"

"Mikey!" 

"As in Brendon's first boyfriend Mikey? He moved back to Jersey years ago!" 

"Ummmmmm…" he continued to try and guess. 

"You'll never get it." I laughed. 

"What? I you're not giving me anything here!"

I just laughed. 

"Is it me?" he asked suddenly. My smile vanished. 

"Um. I gotta go." I mumbled and stood up. I nearly ran for the door, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me. 

"Jon, is it me?" he asked again. I gulped before nodding my head.  

Shit. I'm crying again. 

"Jon, why are you crying?" he asked taking a step closer. 

"I don't fucking know." I said wiping my face. "I feel like an idiot. I feel like a dick for what I did to Kaela. I feel like a loser for being in love with my best friend who doesn't feel the same." 

"Jon…" he trailed off. "You're not an idiot." he started. "What happened with Kaela wasn't your fault. Well not really. And…"

"And what?" I prompted. 

"And no one ever said I couldn't ever feel the same." he mumbled. 

My head snapped up. "What? Are you saying…"

"I don't know." he answered honestly. "I'm still kind of in shock. But I'm willing to give it a try. I mean, we've been best friends since middle school. It might be kind of weird, but it also might work." he said meekly.

"So you want to… you know…" 

"Go out…?" he finished my sentence. Well I couldn't be more awkward. "Yes. I do." he finished with a smile on his face. 

"You're awesome." I laughed. I pulled him into a hug, and he kissed my cheek. 

"I know." he said. 

Just then my phone buzzed. I pulled it out, revealing a text from Ryan. 

Kaela wants you to stop by… and say hi to your daughter. 

She's not mad? Or upset? Maybe things will work out after all. 

Unless she invited me over to yell at me.