I Never Meant To

Tonights show really tired me out. Reschedule an awesome dinner?

I sighed and quickly replied a fake happy reply before throwing my phone back down on the counter and smiling at the girl in front of me staring at the shirts on the rack behind me.

It wasn’t that I was angry that Kay-Lynn had cancelled it was just that, well, our differences were beginning to show. She was a performer and I was the background music. Both were equally important but in the end she was going to have something better happening. I would probably lie awake until the sun would peek over the horizon while she was probably going to fall out with a restful night of sleep under her belt.

I shifted and watched the crowd begin to dwindle as the show ended and band members disappeared into rooms and buses to celebrate their successful night.

Their dreams coming true every night.

Their post show high.

I packed up and slipped the totes back into their respectable positions and changed into pajamas, Yellowcard blasted through my ear buds as I sat in the passenger seat of the empty van. My window down letting a cool breeze float through, just cold enough to warrant a tiny shiver to run through my body.

Mike’s cigarettes sat in the console of the van. I had quit last year but people picked habits back up, right? I played with the top of the cardboard box and second longer and then lifted it up. I slipped the white stick between my lips and retrieved the lime green lighter from the floorboard and lit the cigarette. I took a drag and felt the rush of nicotine fill every cell in my body.
I leaned out the window starting at the ground, my head resting on my fist. A shadow slowly grew larger until there was a tap on my head. I looked up to find Josh Franceschi smirking down at me. I pulled the ear buds from my ears and smiled up at him.

“What can I help you with?” I asked flicking the ash off the cigarette.

“Nothing really. I’m lonely.” I cast him a doubtful look.

“There’s still a few groupies hanging around that would be more than willing to hop on your dick and you’re lonely?”

“Aw. I’m a better person than that!”

“Uh-huh. Alright.” Josh leaned close pulling the cigarette from my fingers and dropping it on the ground. The smile slowly fell from my face.

“In another life, would you be one of those groupies? Waiting to jump on my dick as you said?” I gulped. Josh was cute and he had an accent. Of course I would tear that up. Who wouldn’t.

“Nope. I don’t need to resort to cheap lines mister Franchesci.”

“I don’t believe you.” My mouth fell open.

“What?”

“I don’t think, that if given the chance, you wouldn’t be all over this.” He said biting his bottom lip.

“Bro. Did someone slip sexual frustration into your drink or something?! I don’t know you like this!”

“Nah. You’re just looking especially adorable today.” I looked over his shoulder hoping to see someone coming out of the building to reprieve me from the awkward situation currently happening.

“Aw. Well, aren’t you sweet. Tell you what- you let me get out of this van and I might take you up on that offer!” I said smiling deviously. He smirked and stepped away opening the door. I slipped out of the seat and placed a hand on his chest and grinned.

“Bus?” He asked placing a hand on my waist.

“Not tonight big boy.” I giggled and slipped out of his grasp and waved over my shoulder as I slipped back into the venue. I heard his frustrated groan as I shut the door behind me.

I knew that going on tour would be hard. That there would be moments when these guys would be so pent up that shit like this would go down- Adam had made that clear when I had accepted the position. I had thought maybe I’d catch someone appreciating themselves or have to judge one of them for degrading themselves with a groupie but never having them come onto me....especially three weeks in. Men.

I steered clear of You Me At Six as a whole for a few days after that unfortunately on a tour this small it could only last so long. Kay-Lynn and I had jogged across the street to the Wal Mart when a rush of foot steps had caught up with us. One set belonging to Oli, the other belonging to Josh.

Of course I had told Kay-Lynn about the incident and now she was having trouble stifling laughter. I glared at her and smiled awkwardly at Josh.

“What’re you guys doing?” I stared at Oli a second as I separated the words from his rather thick accent. There were times when I had to have him repeat his sentences. The guys thought it was hilarious but I was throughly unamused.

“We wanna know what this” Josh said gesturing at the super store “is about. American’s are always saying how awesome it is.” I scoffed.

“What the fuck kind of American’s are you talking to bro? Not classy ones.” I said laughing. He frowned but it was quickly replaced with a smile.

“Whatever you say mate. It’s probably great.” Josh kept bumping into my arm as we walked into the warm store. Kay-Lynn pulled a list from her bag and scanned it.

“I need shampoo and stuff. Can you go pick up a couple of towels since you’re getting blankets?” Kay-Lynn asked smiling at me.

“They’re all going to be hot pink with frogs on them.” I said laughing. She giggled and Oli rolled his eyes.

“I am not drying off with those.” Oli muttered.

“Then you aren’t showering are you?” I retorted placing my hands on my hips. He smirked and waved me off. I grabbed a cart and hummed as I pushed the cart until arms appeared on either side of the cart behind me.

“You left me standing in the dark the other night. It made me sad.” Josh said the pout practically showing in his words.

“I said maybe. I never said ‘oh Josh! I’d love to hook up with you even though we have another one and half of tour left so then things can be super awkward!’.” I said stopping in the middle of the aisle. His chuckle reverberated through us both. He leaned in close to my ear.

“I like you Adalynn. You’re pretty and smart. And you don’t take anyones shit.” His warm breath on the back of my neck caused an involuntary shiver to run through my body.

“Josh. Stop. Fuck. Step away from me....please. I like you too. You’re a nice guy but this” I gestured between the two of us who were now a socially acceptable distance apart “can’t happen. Especially not when you’re just trying to get in my pants.” I said picking up a blanket and pulling it against my body.

“Challenge accepted.” My eyes flicked up at him. His arms were crossed over his chest and his scowl had the beanie slipping down his face lower.

“It’s not a-“

“Yes it is. You’ll see, Adalynn. I’ll break you down. You’ll seem I’m more than some wanker trying to get in your pants.” I smiled. Not just at his use of english terms but also his determination. If he thought he had a chance, well he could try.

I slipped my camera out of his bag and turned it on. I snapped his profile, the scowl that was hardly used in real life for the simple fact he had a beautiful smile and set the camera back down in its spot.

“Good luck with that Franceschi.”

“I don’t need luck. I have all this” He said adjusting the beanie.

I laughed and turned away, biting my lip.

The happy feeling didn’t stop the small streak of guilt pass through as Slade popped into my mind. He was everything I’d ever wanted but maybe Josh was the more ideal.....even if he literally lived on another continent.

I wanted to scream. I needed my best friend. Kay-Lynn was never going to let me live it down. Maybe tonight was as good as any to take that rain check away from prying ears. Because everyone knows a man cannot keep a secret. Ever.