You Spurn My Natural Emotions

[Peyton]

Well the rest of the July pretty much sped past, until it reached my birthday, the 18th July. Funny enough Matt’s birthday was on the 31st July, so we decided just to have one massive party round Matt’s house on the 24th July, which was a Wednesday night. I can’t believe I’m actually 23 now. As usual Trinity woke me up by jumping up and down on my bed. This year she bought me a rather sexual set of presents – a whip, a set of fuzzy black handcuffs and a black ball mouth gag. I wasn’t amused by her reasoning though. Apparently the presents are to stop Matt being such a wet blanket. But you never know, I might actually use them one day...could be fun...

But yes, today is the day of our joint birthday party. Pete closed the bar for the night because all the staff were invited, including Trey, Neo, Mae, Jarl, Pete and a very pregnant Annie. She’s due in December, so she’ll be alright. Being the amazing guy that he is, Matt took Trinity and I out shopping on my birthday just to get an entire outfit for tonight. Of course Trinity argued that we can pay our own way (which we can), but Matt is just as stubborn as we are. Score! So Trinity bought a teal strapless dress with a zebra print band round the middle, along with zebra print earrings and zebra print strappy heels, and I’ve got a pale pink one-shoulder dress that’s all ruffled at the top and in a scrunched style all the way down the dress. It’s end’s about mid-thigh. I’ve also got a gorgeous load of silver jewellery and a beautiful pair of crystal-embellished strappy heels. Matt got a nice reward for that trip, if you get what I mean ;)

Trinity helped me loosely curl my hair and pin some of it out of my face, while she just had her hair wavy and down. Johnny was meant to be picking us up at 4pm because he’s been at Lacey’s all day, but he called and cancelled last minute so we’re getting a taxi. No big deal – I’m sure he has his reasons. Besides I’ve got more pressing issues to think about – Trinity looks particularly riled up today.

“So what’s going on in Zinity land?” I asked casually as the taxi pulled up outside.

“Zinity? Oh fuck, that’s me and Zacky isn’t it? You weirdo,” Trinity scoffed.

“Yeah, that’s right. So what’s happened that’s made you stressed?” I mused, handing over money to the driver.

“He’s just being his usual bipolar dickhead self,” Trinity sighed angrily, getting out the taxi.

“Just give in then! Clearly something’s working if you can’t get him out of your head,” I smirked.

“I will never give in. Never,” Trinity scowled.

As we walked up the driveway, I couldn’t help but chuckle as Trinity plastered a fake smile on her lips and composed herself. Damn she’s good. I might have to tell Zacky to step it up today, just for fun. Matt answered the door and grinned down at us, letting us in.

“You two look amazing,” Matt said softly.

Trinity and I looked at each other, before looking back at him.

“We know,” we chorused, both shrugging.

Matt laughed and took my hand in his, Trinity leading the way through to the kitchen. Matt stopped me outside the doorway though.

“You really do look amazing, Peyton. I thank every day that I’m with you,” Matt said sweetly.

“Likewise, Matt,” I smiled back.

Matt pressed a slow tender kiss to my lips, leaving me tingling all over when he pulled away. Woah. There was a lot of lust in that kiss. Matt pressed a kiss to my cheek and then the edge of my jaw.

“We can save the rest till later. What’s this I hear about you having handcuffs?” Matt murmured, his fingers running sensually up and down my sides.

I just moaned softly, pecking his lips one last time before taking his hand and walking into the kitchen, where everyone but Johnny was. What’s wrong with him today?

“Here’s the birthday couple!” Jimmy cheered.

I laughed as he ran over and spun me round before he jumped on Matt’s back.

“Le, what did you give him for breakfast?” Matt chuckled, walking over to where everyone was sitting and dumping Jimmy in his original chair.

“Lucky charms. Big mistake, I know,” Leana giggled, smiling at Jimmy adoringly.

“I looooove the marshmellows,” Jimmy grinned.

I sat down next to Matt and my sister, who had Brian on her other side. Zacky was sitting opposite Trinity, and his stare was pretty much smouldering. Oh yes, today will be fun.

“So what’s the plan then?” I asked, looking around the circle.

“Well it’s us and short shit, when he gets here, till about 8pm, and then basically everyone we know is coming. Your work friends are coming, right?” Matt replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, they’re coming at about 8 I think,” I nodded.

“Then let’s get our drink on!” Brian whooped.

As everyone stood up and went to the alcohol cupboard, I grabbed Zacky’s arm and held him back.

“Turn your game up. She’s starting to crack,” I murmured in his ear.

I didn’t even wait for him to reply, and just went straight to Matt’s side. After a minute or two, I turned my head to look at him, and he just smirked right back at me. Oh yes, this will be a fun day.

*

[Trinity]

I don’t get what’s going on today. Zacky has been smirking at me ever since we got to Matt’s house. Smirking! What the fuck! And his eyes keep roving over me like I’m some sort of prey and he’s the predator. So I’m trying to avoid him completely. I can’t risk being weak to his touch again. Brian’s birthday was just a lucky fluke for him. After all, I was drunk off my face that night. Tonight I’m not drunk at all – I’m too busy trying to ignore the spark of heat that his looks are giving me. Peyton appears to have noticed too, because she keeps sending amused looks my way. Stupid bitch.

Right now it’s half 7 and everyone’s outside. Apart from me. I’m just sitting on the landing upstairs thinking about what a mess everything’s turned into lately. Peyton growing away from me, I know that much. Matt really is good for her, despite him being the clingiest man ever. She hasn’t realised it yet, but she’ll choose him over me one day. And I’ve got to accept that. Other than Peyton, I really don’t have any close friends. Like, none. I never have done, because I always though Peyton and I would stay together forever. Such a childish wish. Would she even care that much if I left the state and moved somewhere on my own? I doubt that. She’ll get over it. So that’s it – I’m going to plan to leave. Can’t be that hard, right?

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice anyone was up here too until I saw a pair of beat up black Etnies in front of me. Zacky.

“Just leave me alone, okay? I don’t want or need your games tonight,” I muttered, lifting my head.

“What’s wrong?” Zacky asked, sitting down next to me with a sincere frown on his face.

Sincere? Yeah right.

“Why would I tell you? You’d only use it against me,” I said bitterly, looking away from him.

Zacky tried to reach his hand out to cup my face but I scooted a few inches away.

“Trinity, don’t be like this. When have I ever hurt you?” Zack asked, confused.

“You’re all the same. All you care about is conquering a stubborn bitch like me and when I finally crack you’ll fuck off and start boasting to your mates. I’m not stupid okay? So just do me a favour and leave me the fuck alone,” I snapped.

I looked at Zacky to see him thinking hard, before he stood up. Oh good, he can listen to me.

“No matter what you think, I’m not like other guys. I wouldn’t treat you like that,” Zacky said softly.

“What-the-fuck-ever,” I muttered.

Zacky left in silence and I rested my head against the banister, a lone tear trailing down my cheek. Then I angrily wiped it away and stood up. I don’t cry over insignificant guys like Zachary Baker. Fuck no. When I was sure Zacky was gone, I walked quietly down the stairs and out the front door. I started walking down the road and pulled out my sidekick, and scrolled down to the name of the only person I wanted to talk to at the moment. Come on...pick up...

Johnny: H-Hello?
Trinity: Where are you?
Johnny: I’m s-sitting on the beach.
Trinity: Mind if I join you?
Johnny: N-No that’s fine.
Trinity: What’s wrong, J?
Johnny: I’ll t-tell you when you get here.
Trinity: I’ll be there as fast as I can.

I hung up after that, and shoved my sidekick back in my bag. Fuck, he doesn’t sound good. At all. So I hailed the first taxi that I saw and jumped in, telling the driver where to go. I got there in 10 minutes and practically ran onto the sand. Which is, like, impossible in these heels so I had to kick them off. I found Johnny sitting by himself pretty easily, and I gasped at what I saw. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he looked like hell. I pulled him into a hug after I sat down, and he started sobbing into my neck.

“What happened, Johnny?” I asked worriedly, when he’d calmed down a little bit.

“Lacey broke up with me,” he whispered.

“What? Oh Johnny, I’m so sorry! Why?” I gasped.

Everyone knows how much he loved his girlfriend. Fuck, they’d been going out for two years!

“She said that she just didn’t love me any more. She said that I never put in any effort with her and that I just wasn’t worth her time. I don’t understand – everything I did was for her!” Johnny whimpered.

“What a fucking whore! All you ever did was spend time with Lacey! You left stuff with the guys and with us just to be with her! And don’t you dare think you aren’t worth her – you’re worth so much more! Hell, you’re Johnny fucking Christ, the bassist of one of the most badass bands ever!” I said furiously.

“But Lacey said...”

“Fuck her. Please don’t get so down about her, Johnny, she’s clearly delusional. You’re worth so much more than a two-cent slut like her. Trust me, you’ll find someone so much better than her,” I insisted, smiling.

“You think?” Johnny sniffed, drying his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“I know,” I nodded, squeezing his shoulder gently.

Johnny drifted into his thoughts for a few minutes, leaving me to mine. I don’t know how I was able to comfort him like that – I’m shit with emotional stuff. It’s normally Peyton that’s good at giving advice. I guess Johnny’s just different.

“So what made you want to find me in the first place? Don’t say that it’s because of me not being there,” Johnny asked quietly, looking up at me.

“I don’t really want to talk about it right now. A lot of shit’s been happening that’s bringing me down,” I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

“Well, when you do want to talk, you can always come to me. No-one listens to what I say anyway, so I won’t tell anyone,” Johnny chuckled.

“Thanks Johnny. What a pair of losers we are,” I laughed.

“I’ve always seen you and Peyton as sisters, you know that? Zacky, Matt and Brian wanted you straight away, but I never did,” Johnny said randomly.

“Kinda the same for me. I’m pretty sure that Peyton’s the same too. You’re like an older brother to me,” I smiled, nudging his shoulder with mine.

“Thanks Trinity. Fuck, I wish I didn’t feel like shit right now,” Johnny sighed.

“Well I’m not in the mood to go back to the party right now, so do you want to come over to mine and watch some films? I have double chocolate ice-cream?” I offered.

“That sounds really good right now,” Johnny nodded, smiling.

“Come on then,” I chuckled.

I stood up and helped Johnny up, brushing the sand off my ass. Johnny and I walked home, just talking and laughing, and I think a film evening is just what we both need. And not once did Peyton call me.