You Spurn My Natural Emotions

[Trinity]

It was the first week of September when I got the phone call I never wanted to get. The Bensons, the sweetest couple to ever live, had died. Both of them died on the same night in their sleep, like one couldn’t live without the other. It was Julian, our old case worker, that called us and when I processed his words, I dropped to my knees in shock. I never thought they’d die, you know? They were just so...strong. Peyton was just as heartbroken as I was. I mean, we were horrible to Sue and Donald Benson when we first moved there, but by the time we left they felt like major parts of our lives, and I know it was the same for them. We had three days till their funeral, so Peyton and I had booked the week off to be able to drive there and back and to recuperate afterwards. Fuck knows this is going to be hard on the both of us.

So at 9am we were packing our overnight things in the car, when Matt’s Escalade pulled up outside. Oh come on Steroids! Not now! Matt and (to my surprise) Zacky got out the car, and walked over to us.

“I got here as soon as I could, baby,” Matt murmured to Peyton.

She clutched at his t-shirt as Matt wrapped his arms around her in a hug, so I raised my eyebrows. What?

“Peyton rang Matt and told him the news. He was hanging out with me so I came too,” Zacky murmured.

“Thanks for the heads up,” I nodded, smiling fake-sweetly.

Zacky held his hands up in surrender at my bitchy attitude, but to be honest I’m just not in the mood. We’ve lost the first two people that ever gave a shit about us – how do you expect me to feel?!

“Look we’ve got to go, Matt, so can you make this quick?” I sighed.

“You’re driving? In this state?!” Matt frowned.

“Don’t really have much choice,” I exasperated.

“Why don’t we drive?” Matt suggested.

“We?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Me and Zacky,” Matt offered.

“Woah, what?” Zacky and I chorused, before glaring at each other.

“That’s too much to ask, Matt. We have to go to Maryland - it's across the other side of the country,” Peyton said with a weak smile.

“What if we stop halfway? Drive the majority of it today and finish it tomorrow? I’d feel safer knowing that neither of you would get hysterical suddenly and endanger your lives while driving,” Matt said seriously.

“Thanks, but no thanks. We can drive ourselves,” I said firmly.

Peyton looked at me wistfully and I narrowed my eyes. She has got to be kidding me!

“Matt’s got a point. We can’t really drive when we’re upset,” Peyton pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, I bet that’s the real reason why she wants Matt to come along.

“Who said I’d volunteer anyway?” Zacky scoffed.

“You know you’d do anything to spend some time with Trinity so don’t be a dick,” Matt retorted.

Zacky blushed and scowled whereas I just scowled. Jackass.

“Come on T, you know this makes sense. And at least we won’t have to drive,” Peyton pleaded.

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. I don’t like this one little bit.

“I’ll let you control music?” Matt bargained.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my duffel bag from the trunk of our car, throwing it Matt’s trunk, and got into the back seat of Matt’s escalade. I made a point of not looking at Zacky when he slid in next to me, flicking through my iPod for a suitable playlist. Only when Matt had started the engine and was driving down the road with music playing perfectly loudly did Zacky turn to talk to me.

“I’m going to put all our shit behind us just for the next few days, Trinity. You need someone to look after you right now, and if you’ll let me I’ll be that person. We can go back to hating me when we get home, but I know you’re hurting right now,” Zacky said softly, so only I could hear.

I looked into his emerald green eyes and smiled weakly, knowing he was only trying to help. I think I get soft-hearted when I’m upset like this.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Any time,” Zacky nodded, smiling back.

He squeezed my hand gently and moved back to his side of the car, giving me my space. Fuck knows I’m going to need my space.

*

After 26 straight hours of driving (Matt for 16, Zacky for 10), we pulled up outside a motel in Bellville, Illinois. Yeah, we’d been driving for over a day! It was 11am now, but we were going to have 8 hours sleep here and then leave again. We’ve got 14 hours left to drive, so we’d get to Lutherville-Timonium at 10am, giving us two hours to get ready. The funeral’s at midday. A very packed schedule, but right now I don’t care – I just want to sleep! Zacky parked outside the motel and cut the engine, so I got out the front seat and grabbed mine and Peyton’s duffel bag. She’s practically asleep already so Matt’s carrying her.

“Hi there, welcome to Belleville’s finest!” the receptionist chirped.

Finest? Yeah, right.

“Hi. Um, we need two rooms for the day? We’re just making a quick sleeping stop. Got a funeral,” Zacky yawned.

“Oh my, I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Okay, let me just see what we have...can I take a name please?”

“Zachary Baker,” Zacky told her.

“Are you mad? What if someone recognises the name and mobs the rooms?!” I hissed in his ear.

“Then we’ll double lock the doors and ignore the knocking, honey pie,” Zacky said with a sweet smile, although his eyes narrowed.

“Don’t push it, sweet cheeks,” I grumbled.

“Alrighty, here are the two room keys. Take the elevator to the second floor, and they’re not far down the corridor. Have a nice sleep!” the receptionist smiled.

I was so tempted to flip her off, but I held myself back. I just want to sleep. The four of us got into the elevator, and I pressed the button for the second floor.

“I’ll set an alarm and wake you and Peyton up about half an hour before we have to leave,” Matt told me.

“Sounds good to me,” I nodded.

“No, Matt, I want to stay with you,” Peyton whined softly, holding onto him tighter.

“P, I’m not sharing with Zacky,” I snapped.

“But Trinity!” Peyton protested.

“No. And that’s final,” I said firmly.

[10 seconds later]

“I fucking hate her puppy dog eyes look,” I grumbled, Zacky shutting the door behind me.

To make this all so much better, there was only a King-sized bed in the room. Damn it! I kicked off my shoes and pulled my t-shirt over my head, as well as slipping my skirt off. Yeah, I didn’t bring pyjamas. Totally forgot about that. I looked over at Zacky to see him staring unashamedly with my jaw dropped slightly. Men.

“What?” I asked, hands on hips.

“A-Are you not going to put clothes on?” Zacky stammered.

“Would you rather me sleep naked?” I asked bluntly.

Zacky just shook his head and proceeded to get undressed down to his boxers. Fuck, his body still turns me on just by looking at it. This is not the time, Trinity!

“Stupid fucking sister with her stupid fucking boyfriend and his stupid fucking friend in this stupid fucking motel,” I rambled, kicking my duffel bag over to the bed.

“Trinity, I thought I said to leave all our shit behind us? We’re going to a fucking funeral!” Zacky said frustrated.

“I know we fucking are, okay?” I said angrily.

“I know you’re upset, but can you just calm down so we can sleep?” Zacky sighed.

“Why should I calm down? Peyton’s got Matt to hold her and The Bensons had each other, but I’ve got no-one! And now the Bensons don’t have each other and it’s shit! All I’ve got is you and we don’t even get along!” I ranted.

Zacky just stayed silent as my fists beat at his chest, letting me get my anger out.

“I...I don’t understand why they had to die! They were the best people I’ve ever met and they didn’t deserve it! It’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair!” I shouted.

Zacky caught me as I collapsed against him and guided me over to the bed.

“It’ll be okay, Trinity. They’re in a better place now,” Zacky comforted, stroking my hair.

“This doesn’t change anything. I still hate you,” I sniffed, curling my body into his.

“I know,” Zacky sighed, pressing a kiss to my temple.

Zacky continued to run his fingers through my hair and hold me tight until I’d calmed down. When I’d stopped crying I rolled over in his arms. I’m not going to stop him holding me.It feel kinda nice.

“Don’t even think about getting a boner,” I grumbled, my eyes closing.

“Can’t promise anything,” Zacky smirked.

Jackass.