You Spurn My Natural Emotions

[Trinity]

After 8 hours of sleep and half an hour to eat breakfast and get dressed, we made it down to Matt’s Escalade. Like I’d thought, Zacky got a boner from holding me while we slept. Like Ithought regretted, I gave Zacky a helping hand in getting rid of it. Lucky for me, Zacky volunteered to drive so I could sit in the front seat with a decent block in between us and a distraction for him. It was a tedious 14 hour drive to Maryland, but as soon as we passed the sign saying ‘Welcome to Lutherville-Timonium’, I wished we had longer. I don’t know if anyone will remember us being here, seeing as it’s been over 5 years now, but I have a gut feeling that we won’t go unnoticed. Wonderful.

We got changed into our funeral clothes in a gas station while Zacky went to the bathroom and Matt filled up his car. Peyton and I had decided to show our respects to The Bensons by wearing conservative clothes, aka a plain black dress with a white beaded waist belt for Peyton and a white blouse, a black high-waist skirt and a cropped black blazer for me. No cleavage or inappropriate amount of flesh showing at all – Sue and Donald would be so proud of us! Peyton bought us matching black ballet flats because we didn’t own any sensible black shoes, so once I’d slipped them on, I walked back to the car, sliding on a pair of black sunglasses as I went. It’s not particularly sunny, but I don’t want people to see me cry. There, I admitted it – I, Trinity Rose Hayes, have emotions. But I won’t let people see them.

Peyton directed Matt to the graveyard, seeing as he’d taken over driving, and we parked outside the gates.

“Ready to make an entrance?” I asked my sister simply.

“As always,” Peyton mused.

As I got out the car, Zacky held onto my arm, looking at me with a frown. I sighed. What now?

“What’s with the attitude change?” he asked quietly.

“If you knew our history in this town, you’d probably have a coronary, Z. Too many people, too much drama,” I chuckled bitterly.

“This is where you spent senior year, isn’t it?” Zacky groaned.

I leant up to his ear with a smirk on my face.

“Hell yes,” I whispered.

Zacky’s lips pressed into a thin line as I returned to my normal height, making me snort and turn on my heel. Here goes nothing.

*

[Peyton]

Like Trinity and I had thought, people stared in shock as we walked up to the graveside. Matt and Zacky had changed into black shirts and black formal pants that we’d bought at the last minute so their tattoos were nearly all covered up, but I’m pretty sure I’m pretty sure it’s because they didn’t think we’d turn up. Bastards. They obviously didn’t know how much the Bensons meant to us. Julian, our ex-care worker smiled weakly at us from the other side of the graves as the minister started the service. I’d followed Trinity’s act and put on a pair of dark sunglasses before we’d left the car, and I’m glad I did because I could not stop crying. I’m just glad that Matt was with me because, fuck, I haven’t cried that much in so long. He had his arms wrapped around my waist from behind from as soon as he realised how distraught I was until everyone started dissipating. I won’t say anything to her, but I know I saw Zacky holding Trinity’s hand and her head was leaning against his chest. Maybe there is hope for them after all.

“We’ll give you and Trinity some time alone,” Matt murmured into my ear.

I smiled weakly and leant up to kiss him gently before pulling away, taking my glasses off as I did. Trinity was talking to Zacky so I just stared at the graves until I realised someone was standing next to me. But my jaw dropped when I turned my head to look.

“A-Alex?” I squeaked.

“Peyton,” he nodded, smiling softly.

“I didn’t think you would be here. Are Jack, Zack and Rian?” I asked curiously.

“Yeah, we arrived just after you did, actually. Who do you think were our biggest fans?” Alex chuckled, looking down at Sue and Donald’s graves.

“Should’ve known,” I said with a sad smile.

“Besides, Rian’s grown up with the Bensons. It wouldn’t be right not to be here,” Alex sighed.

A brief awkward silence fell over us, making me sigh. This wasn’t fun.

“Why are you talking to me? Especially after Newark 2 years ago,” I asked seriously.

“I wasn’t going to, if I’m honest. Hell, Zack was so broken after what Trinity did that we couldn’t leave him alone in case...in case he harmed himself," Alex explained, making me panic. After all, Zack had been my friend too. "Zack even begged me not to come talk to you. But I had to,” Alex explained.

“Alex...” I warned.

“No, not like that. Just for...closure. I want to apologise for how badly I treated you, because you didn’t deserve it. At all. You were perfect and I shouldn’t have let you go,” Alex said softly.

“I have a boyfriend, Alex. And I love him,” I said firmly, refusing to let any tears fall from the words I used to crave so desperately to hear.

“The tall Hulk guy that’s glaring at me like he wants to make my head explode? Yeah, I figured. Besides, I have a girlfriend. She’s called Lisa and...I think I love her,” Alex said with a shy smile.

“Really? Oh I’m so proud of you! You treat her right, do you hear me?” I grinned.

“You know it,” Alex nodded, bumping his hip with mine.

I laughed and bumped my hip against his in return. This is the Alex that I knew back in high school, the one that I fell in love with. I’m just happy that we’ve gotten over the shit that happened between us. I miss his friendship, as cliche as that sounds.

“So I’m going to take you over to Jack and Rian before they castrate me for hogging you,” Alex smirked.

I nodded and followed him as he started walking. I smiled reassuringly at Matt and he just nodded, making me chuckle softly. Overprotective ass. I wasn’t too surprised to see that Trinity was already hugging Jack, but I wasn’t surprised to see Zacky and Zack glaring at each other. Well this can’t end well. Trinity took one look at me and rolled her eyes.

“Zacky took one look at the pain in Zack’s eyes and figured out who he was. I had to threaten him with no access to my body ever again to actually stop him from launching at Merrick. Go figure,” she muttered.

I just laughed and hugged Rian tightly, before hugging Jack and Zack. Damn they’ve grown up again. Damn it.

“We were worried you two weren’t going to make it,” Jack said happily.

“Fuck, you know how much The Bensons meant to us,” I chuckled.

“True. Very true,” Rian smiled weakly.

I squeezed his shoulder, knowing this funeral was as hard for him as it is for us. By now Matt had joined us as was standing silently behind me. Hopefully his presence will be able to calm Zacky down.

“I brought you guys a copy of our DVD, by the way. Just in case we could talk everything out and start being civil again,” Alex announced.

“Not likely,” Zack grunted.

Rian punched Zack in the arm as Alex pulled a square package out of his suit pocket.

“What makes you think we want to watch your DVD?” Trinity taunted.

“Because I’m naked a lot in it! And I think we all know the two of you always wanted an orgy with me, so watch it!” Jack grinned.

“Damn, you read my mind,” I giggled, taking the DVD from Alex.

“Have you guys spoken to Julian yet?” Rian asked.

“No, not yet. Why?” Trinity frowned.

“Well Sue and Donald left you two everything. And I mean everything. And then there’s also Lexi,” Rian explained.

“Who’s Lexi?” Trinity and I chorused.

“Alexis Townsend – The Bensons last foster kid,” Rian told us.

Well that’s weird. What does Julian want with us and this foster girl? Our small group carried on talking for a little while, just catching up on everything that we’ve missed, when we were interrupted by the man who’s life we used to make a living hell just for the fun of it.

“Fuck face!” Trinity squealed happily, hugging our care worker tightly.

“Aww Julie we missed you,” I grinned, hugging him too.

Julian didn’t hesitate to hug us back, laughing as everyone else laughed.

“Do you mind if I have a private word with you girls?” Julian asked us, once we’d let him go.

“Sure,” Trinity shrugged.

“We’ve got to get going now anyway. We took a break from our tour to come here,” Alex explained.

“You’d better keep in touch. All of you,” I warned him.

“I’ll make sure we do,” Rian said warmly.

“I’ll miss you T-Bag,” Jack said dramatically.

“I’ll miss you too, J-Dog,” Trinity chuckled.

We gave them all a hug goodbye, minus Trinity and Zack, and I turned to look at Matt.

“You and Zacky gonna be okay by yourselves?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah, we’ll wait in the car. Z needs to cool down,” Matt nodded, smiling.

I giggled and pressed a kiss to his lips, before turning to face my sister and Julian. He waited until Matt and Zacky had left before opening his mouth.

*

[Trinity]

“I’m sure Rian has told you that the Bensons have left you everything, right?” he started.

We just nodded.

“They also left you the guardianship of Alexis,” Julian announced.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Peyton shouted.

“Seriously, what she said,” I frowned.

“The Bensons had always written in their will for you to take care of their last foster child, Alexis, should it be that they died before she was 18. I have no problem with finding her another foster family though, if it’s too much of a problem for you two. I know you have adult lives to lead,” Julian said softly.

“We can’t take in a kid, Julian,” Peyton said shakily.

“Fuck no,” I winced, shaking my head.

“Would you at least meet her? I know Sue and Donald wouldn’t have trusted her in your care for no reason,” Julian pleaded.

Peyton and I looked at each other, before sighing. Sue and Donald are so lucky we liked them so much.

“Alright, we’ll meet her,” I grumbled.

Julian smiled gratefully at us before walking over to an official-looking car.

“Is this fucking for real?” I hissed.

“I don’t know. It looks like it. And if The Bensons wanted it...”

“No. We can’t look after a kid, Pey! We drink, I smoke, we fuck and we’re out till ridiculous hours in the morning working! That isn’t a good lifestyle for a 17 year old to be put under!” I protested, interrupting.

“Shit, when did you get mature?” Peyton snickered.

“I’m serious,” I said bluntly.

“So am I. This was Sue and Don’s last wish – don’t we owe them that much at least?” she said firmly.

I narrowed my eyes at my sister and pulled a cigarette out my bag, lighting it. I’m going to need this, especially now that Peyton’s winning this debate.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said simply, taking a long drag on my cancer stick.

“I think the girl needs a home with people who understand what she’s been through,” Peyton retorted, folding her arms over her chest.

I was about to argue back again, when Julian started walking back over to us, a girl behind him. She was roughly the same height as us, with jet black hair, olive skin and what looked like Estonian facial features. She was stunning. She also looked completely broken, like someone had taken her life source away. Which, in a sense, had happened.

“Alexis, I want you to meet Trinity and Peyton Hayes,” Julian introduced.

“I know who you are. Sue and Donald have your pictures everywhere,” the girl smiled sadly.

“I think they sent us a picture of you when you were, like, 12,” Peyton chuckled.

Alexis blushed lightly and ducked her head. Well this is going to be awkward. I took another drag of my cigarette to give me something to do.

“The question is, Alexis, do you want to live with us?” Peyton said softly.

“We’re not conventional. We work in a bar, we have rowdy rockstar friends and we don’t give a shit about a lot of things. Not great role models,” I told her.

“Donald and Sue always used to say how great the two of you are. How much they loved you as their own daughters. They never had a bad word to say about you,” Alexis laughed gently.

“That’s surprising, seeing how much shit you two put them through,” Julian muttered.

“Regardless of what the Bensons said, it’s up to you. We don’t know what we’d be like as guardians because, fuck, we barely remember to take care of ourselves,” I warned her, taking another drag and exhaling.

“If you want me, I really would like to go with you. I don’t want to be carted around again,” Alexis sighed, rubbing her arms sadly.

It was then I knew that we couldn’t refuse this girl a home. She’d obviously been through so much shit with the fostering agency just like we had, and she’d obviously been happy with the Bensons like we had. I looked at Peyton with a defeated expression, noticing hers was the same.

“Alright, fuck face, we’ll do it,” I announced, hoping we’d made the right decision as I stubbed out my cigarette.

“Oh thank you girls. You won’t regret this. I’ll work out all the paperwork and how much you’ll get paid for this, and then come up to finalise everything,” Julian said happily.

Julian gave Alexis a hug before walking back to his car, leaving the girl with us. This will be fun. Not. God damn it, we’ll at least have to try – she’s under our fucking guardianship now!

“Come on Alexis,” Peyton smiled reassuringly.

Alexis followed us silently back to Matt’s car, her eyes widening at the size of it. Matt and Zacky got out but frowned when they noticed the girl behind us.

“Er, girls?” Matt said awkwardly.

“Matt, Zacky, this is Alexis. We’re now her guardians. Alexis, this is my boyfriend Matt and Trinity’s...this is Zacky,” Peyton introduced.

“You two are guardians?” Zacky scoffed.

“Shut the fuck up Baker. Alexis is living with us at least until she’s 18, so suck it up,” I growled.

Alexis looked a bit alarmed, making Peyton laugh.

“Don’t worry, this is very tame for them. You’ll get used to it,” Peyton smiled.

The five of us got into the car, Matt and Zacky in the front while Alexis sat between Peyton and I in the back.

“We’ll need to make a pit-stop to get Alexis’ stuff, okay?” Peyton told Matt.

“Sure thing,” Matt nodded.

“Where are we going after?” Alexis asked quietly.

“We live in California,” I shrugged.

Alexis’ jaw dropped, making Peyton and I laugh. Bless her.

“It’ll take us nearly 2 days to get back, so tell us about yourself,” Peyton instructed warmly.

“Where do I start?” Alexis smiled.