You Spurn My Natural Emotions

It’s mid-November now, and seeing as Matt isn’t down the studio and I don’t have to be in work until late, I’m spending the day at his house, the two of us curled up on the sofa watching movies. I find it amazing how comfortable I am with him, but he does make me feel like a princess, so I’m happy. Trinity and Zacky are still together, surprisingly, but it’s like they don’t know how to act. All they’ve ever done is argue so now that they’re actually in a relationship it’s a whole new territory they have to explore. We’re all getting great kicks out of it too.

Just after midday Jimmy burst through the front door, making me groan. So much for alone time.

“Dude, you’ll never guess who I bumped into on my way here,” he said excitedly.

“Who?” Matt mused.

“Val,” Jimmy grinned.

“What?” Matt gasped.

“Yeah, Val’s visiting her parents and she’s here for a week. AndIkindainvitedheroverhere,” Jimmy rambled.

Who is Val?!

“Woah, you invited her over?” Matt asked, surprised.

“Well Trinity and Zacky are kinda occupying every room of mine and Zacky’s house, so yeah, I invited her here,” Jimmy explained.

Matt smiled and nodded, pecking my lips in a kiss before walking into the kitchen. I turned off the TV before turning to face Jimmy with a frown. I want answers.

“Who’s Val and why is Matt so happy about seeing her?” I asked bluntly.

“You don’t know who Val is?” Jimmy asked, shocked.

I just shook my head, biting my lip as Jimmy picked up a photo frame off the wall.

“This is Val DiBenedetto. Matt and her dated right from the start of high school to just over a year ago. They were engaged and everything,” Jimmy explained with a warm smile.

I looked over the smiling figures of Matt, Jimmy and a beautiful blonde woman. She was stunning. And knowing that she and Matt were nearly married made jealousy flare up inside of me.

“W-What?” I managed to stammer.

“Matt knew Val way before they were dating, and she’s been our best friend for years. Hell, she was our tour manager when we first started. Has Matt seriously never told you any of this?” Jimmy frowned.

“No, he hasn’t said a word about her,” I muttered.

“Shit, um, well I’m sure you’ll get on really well with Val. She’s really great,” Jimmy said with a hopeful smile.

“Why did they break up?” I asked as calmly as I could.

“They just didn’t love each other like they used to. Matt and Val talked all the time until you came along. I can’t wait to see her,” Jimmy grinned.

“Me neither,” I said through gritted teeth.

*

4 hours later and I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Val was here and everyone’s flocking around her like she’s some sort of goddess. Well, everyone apart from Trinity and that’s because she’s seen how I’m reacting to all of this, unlike Matt who hasn’t noticed a thing. Brian, Johnny, Zacky, Alexis and Trinity came over as soon as Matt told them the news of Val being back in town, so the moment Val arrived, they all swarmed at her. Even Alexis likes her. Probably likes her more than she likes me. When Matt first hugged her, I saw his eyes light up in a way that I’ve never seen before. And while they’ve been talking, just the two of them in the kitchen, he’s relaxing and laughing at a level that he’s never done with me. He just looks at her with such affection, and I hate to admit that it’s torn a small hole in me. I think I know where I don’t belong.

Around 8pm, everyone started filing out, Brian because he had a date, Jimmy because he was going over to Leana’s, Zacky and Trinity because they’re going to see a new Zombie movie, and Johnny and Alexis because Johnny promised to help her study, leaving just me with Matt and Val. I’ve never felt like such a big fucking third wheel in my life.

“Now that everyone’s gone, I want to introduce you to my girlfriend, Peyton,” Matt announced.

I jumped slightly, not expecting him to actually talk to me, but stood up off the sofa.

“Trinity’s sister, right?” Val smiled.

Fuck her. She’s not even a horrible person. Matt squeezed my shoulder and walked back into the kitchen. No! Don’t leave me with her!

“Yeah,” I nodded, not giving any more of a response.

“So how long have you and Matt been together?” Val asked sweetly.

He hasn’t mentioned? How surprising. Not.

“It was 6 months last week,” I mumbled, not looking at her.

“I’m so happy he’s found someone that the guys all love too,” Val said happily.

Bitch, they don’t love me. I’m not you.

“Mm,” I nodded.

“And I’m really happy that you’re not jealous over me seeing Matt again. I’ve really missed him,” Val said warmly.

I just smiled, trying not to make it look as fake as it was. She has no idea how much her being here is affecting me. No idea. But I can’t say anything to her face – Matt adores her and so do they guys, so they would all hate me if I really spoke my mind.

“Val, your cab is here,” Matt told her, walking back in from the kitchen.

What, can’t she call her own cab? Matt had to do it for her?!

“Aww Mattie it’s been great catching up with you,” Val squealed, hugging him tightly.

“Ditto Val,” Matt grinned, hugging her just as tightly.

I waved once when Val called goodbye to me, not bothering to say anything back. As soon as Val was out the door, Matt shut it and closed his eyes briefly. I just clenched my fists. I am not happy and he knows it.

“Alright, what’s your problem?” Matt sighed, turning to face me.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said sarcastically, shoving my hands into the pockets of my skirt.

“You’ve been cold all day, especially to Val,” Matt accused, frowning.

“Well I wouldn’t want to offend your precious Val,” I muttered.

“Don’t speak about her like that,” Matt said angrily.

I stared at him for a few seconds before shaking my head. His response just confirmed all my thoughts.

“It was nice fucking you,” I said sharply, grabbing my purse.

“Wait, what? Where are you going?” Matt yelped.

“It’s clear that Val means much more to you than I ever will, Matt. So I’m gonna leave you to it,” I said emotionlessly, holding my hands up in surrender.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Pey? Val and I broke up over a year ago,” Matt said, confused.

“I saw the happiness in your eyes when she gave you a hug. I’ve seen you relax much more than I’ve ever known you to when she was talking with you. And I’ve seen how much the guys love having her around. We were meant to spend the day together, just us, but that all changed as soon as she was in the picture. And the fact that you just got defensive over her says it all,” I said bluntly.

“Val’s an old friend, Pey. We’ve known her since we were kids,” Matt sighed.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you looked at her with more affection than I’ve ever seen you look at me with,” I retorted, my bottom lip trembling slightly.

No, I will not cry! Not in front of Matt!

“Baby, don’t cry, come on. Val’s been my best friend for years and I’ve missed her,” Matt said softly.

“Don’t you get it, Matt? You’ve known her for longer, she’s knows you better than I ever will and she’s way prettier than I can ever hope to be. And you were engaged to her! How can I compare with that?” I laughed bitterly.

I tried desperately to fight the stinging tears in my eyes, but I’m losing the battle.

“You’re completely different from Val and that’s what I love about you,” Matt said seriously.

“Don’t you dare say you love me. Don’t you dare when it’s not true,” I scowled.

“But Peyton…”

“Forget it, Matt,” I interrupted.

I didn’t even wait for him to reply as I ran out the house and jumped into my car. Matt watched as I backed out onto the road and I know he saw the tears that were falling down my cheeks. And I just let them fall.