You Spurn My Natural Emotions

[Trinity]

It’s been a week since Peyton and Matt had their fight about Val. Today’s the day Val goes back to wherever she lives now, and I just hope this’ll solve everything, because all Peyton’s done is mope about. I mean, I know I was pretty bad over Zacky, but Peyton has always shown her emotions way more than I ever have, so this is excruciating. I know she regrets flipping out on Matt like she did, but she doesn’t regret what she said. I noticed how everyone reacted to Val arriving, and I also noticed how Peyton reacted to it – not very well at all. That big dumb Hulk of a boyfriend didn’t even realise she was upset, so he’s got as much suffering to do as possible before he deserves to talk to her. Oh yeah, she’s refusing to let him into our house and she’s got the bouncers at work to prevent him entry until she’s ready to talk to him. So this week has been interesting. And by interesting I mean extremely awkward. But whatever.

Zacky’s round at the moment, as is Johnny, although Johnny’s helping Alexis with some Physics homework in her bedroom while Zacky and I are watching ‘I Love Lucy’ re-runs on the TV. I’ll be damned if that’s actually what Johnny and Alexis are doing, but I don’t care what he does with her as long as she’s happy with it. They’re both irritatingly shy in the most adorable way, so they’re practically perfect for each other. Either way, it means I don’t have to help Alexis with homework! As for me and Zacky, I’ll admit that it’s weird being in a real relationship with him, rather than arguments mixed with lust. It’s still all so new to me so I’m taking it slowly with the whole emotions thing, but Zacky doesn’t seem to have any problems at all. Fuck him.

“Baby, what are you thinking about?” Zacky asked warmly, tucking a strand of my hair out of my eyes.

“How much I want to castrate you for calling me petnames?” I lied smoothly, my voice dry and monotonous.

“Aww come on honey pie, you know you love it,” Zacky teased.

“Don’t push it, sweet cheeks,” I shot back, although I couldn’t hold back a small smile.

Damn him and the way he makes me melt inside. Zacky laughed and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head, pulling me tighter into his side with the arm he had around my shoulders. Ah fuck it. I relaxed into his body, resting my head on his chest. This is kinda…nice. I’m allowed to think that, right?

But just as I was getting comfy, the doorbell rang. When I heard no-one making a move to open it, I groaned and stood up, Zacky grumbling under his breath. Well someone’s got to answer it! I shuffled into the hallway, unlocking the door before pulling it open to reveal the last person I expected.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked coldly, folding my arms over my chest.

“I’m here to talk to Peyton,” Val replied confidently, although it was clear that she hadn’t expected that response from me.

“Well I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you?” I said with a sneer.

“In all honesty, I don’t care what you think. I know you’re just trying to protect your sister and all, but I just want to set things straight with her,” Val replied simply.

I narrowed my eyes at the blonde woman, trying to judge the emotions in her eyes. People can hide emotions from their faces, but never their eyes. And Val’s eyes are showing on honesty and determination. Damn it.

“Fine. But if I hear one angry shout from her, I’ll drag you down the stairs and kick your ass out myself,” I warned, leaving enough threat in my voice to let her know that I’m serious.

No-one hurts my sister, and that’s final.

“Thank you. I really appreciate this,” Val smiled.

“Up the stairs and the first door on the right,” I said, ignoring her.

She nodded and walked past me, going in the direction I’d said. I sighed and shut the front door, walking back into the front room where Zacky was sitting waiting.

“Was that who I think it was?” he asked, confused.

“If you’re thinking Val, then yeah, it’s her,” I nodded, sitting down next to him.

“What did she want?” Zacky frowned, playing with my hair where his arm rested behind me on the sofa.

“She wants to talk to Peyton. Something about setting the record straight or whatever. I don’t know, I’m just fed up of all this shit. Peyton’s damn stubborn about forgiving people so fuck knows how long she’ll take to talk to Matt again,” I shrugged.

“If Peyton’s the same as you stubborn-wise, Matt’s screwed – you’re a fucking stubborn bitch,” Zacky chuckled.

“You’d better watch what you say, Baker. You do know I will quite happily stop having sex with you, right?” I said with a fake-sweet smile.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Zacky gasped.

I leant into his ear, a small smirk on my face. Fuck no, I would never deny myself sex, but Zacky doesn’t have to know that does he?

“Watch me,” I purred, my tongue flicking out to tease the shell of his ear after.

Zacky whimpered and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, nuzzling his face into my neck as he mumbled a spiel of apologies. I couldn’t hide my grin at how much he’s wrapped round my finger already – men are just too easy!

*

[Peyton]

I heard someone knocking timidly on my door and I frowned. Trinity just barges into my room normally and even Alexis isn’t that timid any more. Who the fuck is it?

“Come in if you’re not Matt!” I called, setting down my book.

When my bedroom door opened I fought to hide my scowl. What is Val doing here?!

“What do you want?” I asked as politely as I could.

“I want to talk to you about Matt,” Val announced softly, shutting my door behind her.

“If you want him back, he’s all yours,” I said with a fake-smile.

“I’m trying to help you here, so can you not be a bitch?” Val asked simply, raising an eyebrow.

This time I didn’t fight to hide my scowl. Val just smiled.

“Good. I need you to understand that I don’t want Matt. And Matt doesn’t want me. He’s going crazy with you ignoring him, and it hurts, okay? Matt’s a great guy and you’re throwing it away with this jealousy shit,” Val said seriously.

“Is that all?” I asked tightly, clenching my fists.

“No, it’s not,” Val retorted, staring me down. Damn, this girl’s got bite! “All week I’ve been hanging out with Matt, and I finally confronted him this morning about why he’s barely spent any time with the guys and none at all with you, and he told me all about your argument. Why would you argue with him over something so stupid?” Val frowned.

“Stupid? You think our argument was stupid?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Yes, I do. Matt and I are over for a good reason – if we still loved each other as more than friends, we would never have broken up. But we did break up, and it was mutual. That’s what you’ve got to understand, Peyton. I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that Matt doesn’t just jump into relationships with people – he’s a very traditional guy – so the fact that he’s been with you for so long after such a long-term relationship with me shows that he really does care about you. If you can’t see that, then you don’t deserve him,” Val said firmly.

“You really don’t like me, do you?” I asked.

“No, not after how you’ve treated Matt. He doesn’t deserve such a shitty jealous reaction, but I can see he loves you so that’s why I’m here. He loves you, Peyton. So there’s no reason to be jealous of me,” Val replied with a shrug.

Okay, now it’s my time to blow. Fuck her.

“No reason to be jealous? Are you fucking kidding me? Not only are you stunning, but you’re nice and funny and smart, and all the guys love you. Fuck, it took them ages to warm up to me and my sister, but as soon as you waltz in they’re louder and happier than they’ve ever been with us. And Matt looks at you with such affection that it kills me, it really kills me. He’s so relaxed and happy around you that it makes me sick to my stomach. He would drop everything to help you out, and I can see that in just the way he looks at you. I can see it in how hard he grinned when you first hugged him. I can’t compete with any of that, so if you think there’s no fucking reason for me to be jealous then fuck you,” I ranted, glaring at her when I was finished.

Val stayed silent, her lips pressed tightly together for a few seconds, before she shook her head.

“If that’s how you feel, then I’m sorry. I clearly can’t change your mind. But just know this – I don’t want Matt and he doesn’t want me. He wants you. So don’t throw this away. In all the time I’ve known Matt, and that’s been nearly two decades, I’ve never heard him talk about someone like he’s talked about you. He’s mad over you, Peyton, and without you he’s such a shell of the man that we both know. Do both of you a favour and talk to him, okay? I know you’ll regret it if things end this way. I know I would,” Val said softly.

I stayed silent this time, and she left my room. I sighed and ran my hand through my long dark hair, contemplating what Matt’s ex had said. I miss him so fucking much that it’s unreal. I just can’t get over how he looked at Val. Is it wrong for me to feel so insecure when I know their history? I don’t think so. But I can’t let him go. I really do love like him too much for that. With a groan, I picked up my cellphone and dialled the number I know off by heart.

“P-Peyton?” Matt answered, his voice scratchy as if he’d been crying.

I winced and bit my bottom lip. Matt doesn’t cry over anything.

“Yeah,” was all I could say.

There was an awkward pause in which I closed my eyes, just listening to him breathing down the other end of the line.

“Can I come over? I want to talk to you,” I asked finally.

“Only if you’re not going to break up with me,” Matt chuckled nervously, making me smile slightly.

“No, I just want to talk,” I replied.

“Then get the fuck over here,” Matt said. I could almost hear his grin.