Quick and Painful

Beep Beep Beep

What was that annoying sound?

Beep Beep Beep

Why wouldn’t it go away?

Beep Beep Beep

“Bethy please wake up! I’m begging you!” A male voice choked out. Matt?? Why was he here? I was supposed to be dead… surely he’s not dead too?! He couldn’t be… and what was that annoying beeping. Then it hit me. I wasn’t dead. I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I was alive and in the hospital. I groaned, the pain in my neck slamming into me harder than I could imagine. “Bethy” I opened an eye and glared at Matt.

“What?” I asked, annoyed that my plan had failed and I had not died like I was supposed to. Instead of an answer I felt Matt fling himself on me.

“Bethy! You’re awake! I thought you were dead!” That’s what I wanted!

“Matt?” I asked

“Yeah Bethy?” I noticed tears adorning his cheeks.

“Why aren’t I dead?” The wound on my neck throbbed along with my heartbeat painfully. The sheets were crisp and crinkled as I gripped them in my fist. The expression on Matt’s face made my heart drop. He looked so sad with the tear-stains and his expression when I mentioned killing myself.

“I found you before it was to late.” He replied, trying to choke back a sob. “W-why did you do it?” My heart learched as the memories crashed down on me. My broken heart shredding into pieces again. Within seconds I was sobbing into Matt’s shoulder.

“Why didn’t you let me die!” I screamed, pulling on his shirt in distress “Why?!” Sobs wracked my body. Tears streamed down my face, staining his shirt. His arms were around me, patting my back lightly in an attempt to calm me. “Why?” I sobbed. “Why?”

“How can you ask that?” He asked almost harshly. “How can you?” He pushed me far enough away from him so he could look at me. “There are so many people who love you! So many?! Do you know how upset your parent’s were? Your grandparents? Your friends? Me? Didn’t you think about us? How it would tear me apart to find you dead? How I can’t live without you?!” Tears were streaming down both our faces again. He was right. I hadn’t thought about how anyone would react.

“I’m sorry.” I wiped my eyes free of tears. It didn’t make much difference, though. The tears were quickly replaced with fresh droplets of the salty liquid.

“Just…talk to someone. Don’t do it again.” Matt pulled me into another hug, more of my tears staining is My Chemical Romance tee.…His favorite… I noticed.

“I promise, Mattie.” I felt him smile into my hair causing me to smile weakly as well.

“Bethy?”

“Yeah?” I asked, wiping the remaining tears away, then snuggling back into his warm chest.

“What happened?” I froze. The pain in my chest became unbearable. Matt saw this and cupped his hand around my chin and lifted my face upward. His eyes met his. They were saddened and worried, making me feel extremely bad.

“I…I can’t…” A tear leaked down my cheek. I tried to wriggle free from his grip, but he wouldn’t let go of me.

“Please? Tell me and I’ll try and fix it. Please?” I shook my head slightly.

“It hurts.” More tears falling down my cheeks. He stroked them away lightly.

“ I know. I can help. Remember, you can tell me everything…at least you used too…”

“O-okay.” I took a shuddering breath and the words came tumbling out. Something in me actually wanted to tell him originally, so that made it easier for him to get it out of me. “St-stefanbrokeu-upwithme.” I said in a rush, my eyes squeezed shut. “He…he told me h-he w-w-w-w-w-was j-j-j-j-ust u-u-u-using m-m-m-me.” Matt let go of me. I opened my eyes and noticed his angry expression. He stood up quickly and headed for the door. “Wait! Mattie, what are you doing?!” He spun around to face me, anger flared in his eyes.

“I’m going to kill him!”