Olive and an Arrow

I couldn’t get a minute of shut eye last night. Nothing I could do or focus on took my mind off Aria. Something just didn’t feel right.

Something was wrong.

I slouched down into the tan, dirty and worn out couch in the recording studio. I closed my eyes for what I wanted to only be two seconds, it turned out to be a bit longer. When I was just about asleep for the first time in what felt like ages, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my jeans pocket and sighed. Flipping the cover open and clicking a button, I revealed a text message from the one and only Jack Barakat.

She’s cheating on you.

I could have sworn that for a second, my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and stopped beating. Taking another second to refocus, I quickly typed back.

What? Are you sure? With who? And how the hell do you know this?

His reply came back much quicker than I expected.

Yes, with Alex. I’m sorry man.. I really am. :(

If my heart could have sank any lower, it would have. Feeling defeated and worthless, I choked back the tears that were forming in my eyes. But, I had one thing to say to one other person. Without even thinking, I started typing a message to Aria.

Hey Ar, it’s John. I’m at the studio now, but I was wondering if you wanted to go get coffee after, or something? I need to tell you something.

In a desperate attempt to keep my heart from breaking even more, I hurried into the recording room and started the vocals for the next song.

After Recording

Luckily, Aria agreed to meet up with me for coffee at Starbucks. Finding a hidden, quiet spot in the back of the building, I sat down at the table with her. I just couldn’t find the words to say.

“Are you okay, John?” I heard her soft angelic voice whisper to me across the table.

“Kind of...but, I’ve been thinking lately..” I paused. “I think Alex was right. You know, how on the day I played the song I wrote for you? And he left you a note? Well, in that note.. I took a closer look at myself, Aria. I’m not the guy you want. You deserve much better than me.”

My gaze went from her eyes down to my twiddling thumbs. I tried to hold back the tears. While trying to force them back, I continued my speech.

“I hate to admit it, but it’s true. I want so badly to say that we’re perfect for each other, but I can’t when you deserve so much more. Yet, nothing, nothing will ever change how much I love you. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever love someone as much as I do love you, Aria. I meant what I’ve always said: I’ll always love you with my entire heart.”

I took a breath and again refocused my gaze. This time, I made an attempt at eye contact.

“I think,... I think maybe we should take a break apart and just, re-evaluate everything around us. Take a closer look at everything before we go fully into this relationship. And I’m not saying we can’t ever be together again, because if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. But, you deserve better, so that why I’m suggesting we take a break.”

I felt a warm, salty tear drop roll down my cheek as I finished my long speech. I tried to wipe it away before Aria saw it, but I don’t think that it was very successful. But to be fully honest, my heart was breaking down quicker inside. I needed to let her go.