This Love Will Be Our Downfall

I didn’t mean for what to happened happen. I didn’t believe I was stupid enough to actually get on ice skates. I laid in the hospital bed just rubbing my stomach up and down with my thumb, and thanked god when I woke up it was still there. I didn’t want anything bad to happened to this baby. I just let their father get to me too much. I heard quick footsteps to my room, and when I saw Patrick my heart just broke.

“Don’t ever do that again Elizabeth Czech you understand me?!” He said kind of mean. “You don’t do something so wreckless when I make you angry. Especially with that baby in there. What in that brain of yours don’t you register that you are pregnant, and you can’t go ice skating anymore don’t you get! Doctors told you to stay away from it. Do you ever listen?”

I deserved this, but I didn’t deserve what he did to me.

“Do you ever listen when I say I love you? That when I mean I love you I really mean it. That when I say I love you, you mean the world to me, and when you did what you did to me last night it wasn’t just my heart breaking, but my trust in you too. Patrick I try so hard to make this work, because I don’t want this baby just being raised by me. If that is the case, if you are gonna just do this to me. I will leave. I will leave you, Chicago, and even Katey behind. I will live an ocean away from you, just so I know this baby’s heart won’t be broken when you do something to them. I’ll move to Poland, and you’ll be never see me again.” I said. “I don’t need stress like this. I don’t need you making me stressed out. That isn’t good for me.”

“You’d never leave Chicago. You love it here too much.”

“I never left Chicago, but there is a first for everything.” I looked him.

“Don’t leave me.” he said.

“I don’t know if I can give you another chance, Patrick. I can’t just let you walk all over me. I can’t let you think that I’ll do anything you say, because you make all the money. I won’t have my child live like that. I won’t let you fuck up their life. This isn’t a puppy Patrick. This is a human being that is gonna call you Daddy. That is gonna want to be attached to your hip sometimes and cry when you leave. They are gonna want your undivided attention on your shit days. They are gonna need a dad, not a bank account.”

I heard a knock on the door. It was a nurse.

“Miss Czech?” She said looking at Patrick and then to me.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“The doctor wants to do one more ultrasound before we get you ready to leave to make sure the baby is just the same as they were when you got here.” She said.

“Oh okay.”i said.

“We’re gonna take you to a different room. So we’ll get a wheelchair for you.” The nurse smiled. She was really eyeing down Patrick. I wanted nothing more than to just roll my eyes. “Someone can come with you too.” she said as he walked out the room.

There was something in me that made me want to hate Patrick so much right now. He was a life ruiner, but there was something that was always dragging me back to him. It wasn’t this baby either. I always ran back to him. What was wrong with me?

It is love Lizzie that is how it always works.

“I’ll let you go okay. You can call me...” Patrick said kind of down and started to head for the door.

“Patrick, wait!” I said.

“What?” He asked me as he stopped.

“You don’t want to go with? You always have to miss doctor’s appointments for hockey stuff...” I said.

“If you want me to go with you I will.” Patrick said.

“I want you to go with.” I said nodding my head. “Patrick...” I grabbed his hand.

“What?” He looked into my blue eyes.

“I won’t give up on you. Just please don’t ever do that again. For everyone’s sake?”

“Only if you promise to put the skates away until you have the baby.” he said.

“I promise.” He gave me quick kiss and then the nurse came in with a wheel chair. I tired to moved a little, but it was killing me. I was gonna have to get use to the pain, because pain medication was out of the question. I was wheeled out of my room and to another one, and Katey was waiting out there.

“Where are we going?” My best friend asked me. We?

“To get an ultrasound one last time.” I said.

“Patrick, stay here I’m going.” Katey said butting in.

“Hold on.” I told the nurse. She stopped and I faced Katey. “Don’t tell him what to do. He is going with.” I said sternly to my best friend.

“You are really run back to this manwhore? Lizzie what the hell are you on?” Katey said thrown off.

“This is just as much his baby as it is mine. He is going with me and any choice I make is up to me not you.” I said getting irritated. “Stop trying to protect me from a ‘monster’ that is non-existent. We all make mistakes, like you did when you’d think Brent would just drop everything for you the first time.” I said getting mean. Her mouth dropped and we in a different direction.

“Eurotrash, that was overly mean.” Patrick said to me.

“She had it coming. She doesn’t have any right to treat you like that. People make mistakes, she needs to get the fuck over it.” I was getting angry.

“Yeah, but I’m the reason you are here.” Patrick said.

“Who told you that?” I asked him. “You didn’t push me Patrick. You weren’t on that ice tripping me or making me not concentrate. I fell and went ice skating by myself. Don’t make let people let you think the reason I am here is because of you. You’d never do such a thing.” I said looking up to him. “Don’t blame yourself for something I did, please?” I asked him.

“I won’t I promise.” he said being a bit more quiet. When we got to the room I needed to get into Patrick was right to my aid to get me up. I got up pretty quick. “Whoa, slow down you’re gonna hurt yourself.” he said helping me up, and holding onto my hand.

“Why don’t you help her lay down.” the nurse said.

“Here I’ll pick you up is that okay?” Patrick asked me. I nodded my head and Patrick lightly picked me and set me on the examination table. I surprisingly did feel any pain when I was set down.

“Someone will be in here in a second.” The nurse said writing stuff down and then walking out.

Patrick sat next to me in a chair and rested his chin on the table. “I love you.” He said.

“I love you too Patrick.” I said holding on to his hand.

“You gonna be the best mom in the world. You can deal with me, I think you can deal with anything.” he said looking at me.

I let out a little chuckle and smiled. “You’re my boyfriend I have to put up with you.” I said starting to play with his curly hair. Five minutes later a doctor came, and she was smiling.

“Hello.” she said.

“Hi.” I said. I always felt awkward with doctors. Then when you get pregnant my god there is no such thing as privacy.

“So were are gonna check on your baby one last time to check on them. How long are you?” She asked me.

“Eleven weeks.” I said.

“Oh so in a few weeks you get to find out what they are and you might be able to feel them move around soon. How exciting.” She said grabbing the little heart monitor from a drawer. “You can hear their heartbeat now, though.” She said walking over to me. She pulled my gown up to reveal my little stomach. “Carrying big?” She asked me.

“Yeah.” I said with an unsure face.

“Is it your first baby?” She asked me.

“Oh god yeah. I’m only twenty.” I was in shock.

“You never know these days.” The doctor grinned. Good point. She turned on the heart monitor. “So, have you heard their heartbeat yet?”

“I have just faintly once.” I replied looking down at my stomach. It was really getting big quick. Good bye nice figure.

“Have you ever heard it Daddy, I am assuming.” the doctor ask Patrick.

Patrick smiled. “No I haven’t heard it yet. I’ve had practice...” Patrick trailed off. Patrick looked uncomfortable right now. I could tell with the way his face changed really quick, and how he was holding onto my hand pretty tight.

“Oh well now you can. It is pretty cool.” She smiled putting the little monitor to my stomach and looking for the heartbeat. “It is always tricky to find when they are this little.” It was true. The first time I heard it took three minutes to find. This time it took about a minute and a half, and then you heard the little heartbeat.

“That’s a heartbeat?” Patrick said in like awe.

“Yeah, that’s the baby’s heartbeat.” I said.

“It is suppose to sound like that?”

The woman in her late forties just smiled at Patrick’s funny questions. He was worried. He was finally getting that feeling of well... being a dad.

“Yeah that is normal, and their heartbeat is normal too. It looks like mom takes care of herself.” The doctor said turning off the machine, and getting the ultrasound thing ready.

Ten minutes later, She was doing an ultrasound, and Patrick’s face was priceless. His eyes were getting watery. He never got to see what he help make on a screen. He never got to hear their heartbeat to prove that they were human, and that they were gonna be coming into the world in only a few months. It made him realised if he fucked up anymore things, he was gonna fucking up that little thing’s life too. That when he hurt me, it was gonna affect the baby too. That he was gonna be a father soon, and that baby was gonna need stable things in their life. That his son or daughter didn’t need him cheating on their mother all the time and break her heart.

That little 12 inch screen changed everything for Patrick.