Fiction

I smacked myself mentally. There was no reason for me to have called, and worry Ray Ray. At least Jimmy would take care of my dear friend. Slowly I got up and walked into the bedroom where I threw myself onto my bed, and closed my eyes. I was praying and hopping that I didn’t wake up the next morning, but of course I did.

I groaned and pushed my heavy body out of my bed. I landed on my floor with a big thud; which knocked the wind out of me. I laid there on the floor looking up at the white tiled ceiling. I didn’t realize I was crying until a drop touched the corner of my lips.

I laid there for hours it seemed like. I was broken. Torn to pieces, but I guess I put myself through this agony. Slowly I sat up, and stood up. They say “when the heart breaks, it heals ugly.” From what I can feel; they’re right. I walked to my bathroom in a daze, like I was on auto pilot.

I took a quick shower, got dressed, and just sat on my couch the rest of the day. I ignored all phone calls from everybody. I was to numb to even lift a finger to answer the phone. Not only was my heart broken in half, but I was broken in half.

After the twentieth time the phone went off, I grabbed a hold of it and chucked it at my wall, and watched it shatter to pieces. I smiled at the relief feeling I had right after the phone was chucked at the wall. I sat back down and just starred at the wall where the phone hit.

In the end I ended up convulsing into myself. I was rocking back and forth relentlessly with tears spilling down my cheeks like a water fall. “Bitch,” I told myself. “Get a fucking hold of yourself. There is no reason to be crying like a fucking baby over something so simple.”

I tore at my eyes to try and stop the water works, and just as they stopped Ray Ray came barging into the room. I squinted my eyes at her; trying to clear my vision. “Oh my god, Kelsey,” Raquel gasped speed walking over to me. She wrapped her arms around me, but I felt nothing. I was completely numb.

Raquel rocked me back and forth, then Jimmy came running in.

“What the hell happened to this room?,” he asked looking around. I looked around myself and realized the destruction I had done. I shrugged like it was no big deal. I mean it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

Lamp posts were knocked over and shattered. The glass coffee table was shattered to pieces. Everything was knocked over; making the place look like a huge mess. I widened my eyes. When I thought about doing it I didn’t think I actually did it. Well, I guess that is what you get for being on autopilot.

I hugged Raquel back, and repeatedly told her that I did this, and that I was now fine, and that she didn’t have to worry. Jimmy wrapped his long arms around me also, and set his head onto my back.

“We are here for you Kelsey,” Raquel said. Somehow I was just getting paranoid. I clenched my jaw, and closed my eyes.

“I’m fine,” I said between clenched teeth. I shook both her and Jimmy off and walked into my bedroom, where I groaned and fell backwards onto my bed. I was fine now. There was nothing that needed to be worried about anymore.

When I walked back out to the living room, I found it vacant of people. I started cleaning my mess that I had created.

I winced at the cuts I kept giving myself as I picked up the broken glass from the coffee table and lamp posts. Once I finished, I plucked out any pieces of glass that were in my skin before taking care of them.

I sighed and got up off of the couch, grabbed my keys, wallet, and walked out of the house, and hopped into my car. I drove to my closes guy friend, Mark’s house. He developed me into a hug once he noticed the puffy eyes. I hugged him back and started crying again. He was the second man I loved with all my heart. If he rejected me I would be an empty shell.

He picked me up bridal style and walked us into his living room. I cried into the crook of his neck. He sat me down onto the couch and just cradled me like a baby, like he used to do all the time in High School.

“Kelsey. It’s okay,” Mark rocked me murmuring sweet things into my ear until I was only hiccupping. I spilled everything to him, and then realized that he was only in his boxers. I blushed red, and rubbed my eyes. He rubbed my lower back, and placed his head on top of mine.

I snuggled in closer to his warm body and closed my eyes; allowing the hiccups to slowly fade. “Thank you Mark,” I sniffled and breathed in.

“No problem Kels.” We stayed like that for a while. I didn’t realize what was happening. Normally he would let me go right about then. He pulled back and was biting his beautiful bottom lip. His brown lengthy hair was sticking up in weird proportions. I twisted my fingers through it, and started playing with it.

“Did you just get up,” I asked. He laughed and grabbed a hold of the hand that was playfully messing with his gorgeous hair. He chuckled.

“Yeah. Pulled an all nighter.” I laughed and ruffled his hair again. “Why do you do that?,” he chuckled.
“Because, I love your lushes hair,” I said laughing.

“Kelsey, can I ask you something,” he asked looking down at our hands. I nodded and looked into his deep blue eyes. My cheeks tinted pink. We are just friends I repeated over and over in my head. Which is mostly true.

“If I told you I like you more than a friend, what would you say? Or how would you react?”

“I… I don’t know,” I stuttered. “Um, I wouldn’t react that badly. A little shocked, but not badly. Look Mark if your asking me out, the answer is I don’t know,” I said looking at his beautiful face. “Your to good for me.” I touched his cheek, and he placed his hand over mine.

“Right,” he muttered. I bit my lower lip.

“Don’t hate me lover!,” I said tossing my arms around his neck. He laughed.

“I don’t hate you. I was just curious, and I think the complete opposite.” He sighed. “Why do all girls tell me that?”

“Because you are.” I hugged him. After we finished talking to each other I waved as he shut his door and ran into Brian who rolled down his window, and told me to follow him. I didn’t know whether I wanted to get into that car or not.