Memories That Vanished

Matt's parents showed up later that day to take him home with them. It was either that or the boys and I had to leave our Huntington home until something sparked Matt's memory... if anything ever did.
After I was discharged Brian brought the boys back to hospital and I told them that they wouldn't be able to see Daddy for awhile.
After a lot of tears and begging they finally quieted down and I was able to to take them home. As we walked past the front desk Matt was standing there with his parents, Gary and Kim and his younger sister, Amy.
"Momma!" Vladimir shouted, pointing to where I was already looking, "There's Auntie Amy with Daddy!"
Luckily we were far enough away that Matt wouldn't of been able to here him and I nodded, walking away from the people that had become my family.
"Mommy!" Landon said quietly, his hazel, almost blue, eyes silently begging me to let them see their Daddy. I shook my head and looked back to the group of people that I truly cared about. They were now looking at us as Vlad struggled to get his arm out of my grasp so he could run over there.
"Vladimir Matthew Sanders knock it off!" I scolded quietly, pulling him to the sliding glass doors only ten feet in front of us.
"No Momma! I want to see Grandma and Grandpa!"
I kneeled down in front of my oldest son and wiped the tears from his eyes, after I set Landon down beside me.
"Baby, you can't see Daddy, right now. It's not healthy for him. Daddy is sick," I whispered, pulling my six year old into my arms, looking at the floor behind him instead of the people that I knew were looking at us.
When I pulled away from Vladimir he had a sad pout on his face and I pushed his hair from his eyes again and turned to pick Landon back up.
"Landon?" I shouted frantically and saw my shy two year old running over to his family.
"Shit," I murmured under my breath and ran towards him. Vladimir, unfortunately ran after me.
I swept Landon up from the floor when we were just feet from Matt. My eyes grew wide as Vlad ran past me and tried to attach himself to Matt's waist. Luckily Amy picked him up before he could even touch his father.
"Vladimir!" She shouted happily, spinning him around a couple of times. His dimples appeared on his angelic face as he giggled, "Auntie Amy!"
"Auntie?" Matt's voice was laced with confusion as he stared between Amy, Vladimir and I. It was like my entire body froze as Amy chuckled as nodded. Her hand discretely covering Vlad's mouth so he couldn't say anything more.
"Yeah, bro. This is Bryn. She's in a couple of my classes at school. I babysit when ever she has to work,"
I let out a sigh of relief and nodded, "Hi Matt. I'm glad you're okay,"
I pressed Landon's head against my shoulder so he wouldn't say anything. It was like his shyness suddenly disappeared when ever his father was around.
Vladimir started squirming in Amy's arms and she shuffled so she had a better grip on the six year old, her hand letting go of his mouth as Matt turned to look at them.
"Mommy said you were sick!" Vlad shouted, and I silently hoped that he wouldn't say 'daddy, "Are you okay, now?"
Matt's hazel eyes made my bite my lip as he smiled that smile that I hadn't seen in what felt like years, "Yeah, kid. I'm alright,"
I groaned under my breath at the fact that I didn't have another reason to keep the boys from Matt. Amy set Vlad down and Kim pulled the young boy into a bone crushing hug, closing her eyes and kissing his cheek. Gary just ruffled his hair and pushed him in my direction. I held Landon against my hip and took a hold of Vlad's hand as I took a step back, "I'll see you around, Amy,"
"Okay! Bye boys!" She said enthusiastically and Vladimir tried to pull away again shouting, "No!" Over and over again, realizing that we were leaving again. I picked him up and almost ran from the hospital, ignoring him as he began crying again and begging me to let him go back and be with Daddy.
"Daddy is going to stay with Grandma and Grandpa, baby," I soothed as I buckled him into his booster seat in our car. I then put Landon in his car seat and strapped him in, sighing as I noticed the silent tears falling from his hazel eyes. The ride back to our large house was filled with sniffles and tears.
When we pulled into the gated driveway I sighed and leaned against the steering wheel. Tears blurring my vision as I thought about Matt, my husband, not remembering who I am. And worst of all, my husband not remembering his own sons.
I walked both of the boys to the front door and unlocked it, letting them roam free in the toy disaster Matt and I had always called the living room.

The clock on the wall told me it was four minutes after one p.m and I dropped my bag, making my way into the kitchen that over looked the living room where the boys were playing together with their favorite lego car track. I pulled a box of macaroni from the cupboard and hot dogs from the fridge and set out to make the easy meal of Macaroni and Hot dogs.
A few minutes later the two of them were at the kitchen table, Landon in his high chair, while I raced up stairs to clean up Landon's room before I put him down for a nap.
"Momma!" Vladimir's voice called frantically from the kitchen, 40-something minutes later, and I called back, "What?" Knowing that Vlad had always been a bit over dramatic.
"There are peoples out side!" He screamed from the bottom of the stairs as I walked out into the hallway.
"People, hunny. And okay, I'll go see what they want this time, just let me put your brother to sleep," I skipped down the stairs and rolled my own eyes at the mess on my six year old's face. I wiped the cheese from his mouth with my t'shirt and he followed me back into the extravagant kitchen.

Landon was sitting in his booster seat tossing noodles to the floor, something he had always done when he didn't want to eat anymore. I clicked the little table thing off from in front of him and undid the straps, pulling the giggling boy from the seat. I set him on the island as I wet a rag and ran it over his face, doing the same for his older brother.
"Come on, baby," I murmured and heaved Landon from the counter. Vladimir followed me again and the three of us ended up in the light blue room that the guys had all painted themselves one fun afternoon.

Landon was already in grey sweat pants and a t'shirt so I just laid him in his crib and tucked the yawning baby in. I sat in the cliche wooden rocking chair. Vladimir climbed into my lap as I picked up a random book from the floor and began reading quietly to both of my boys. Almost a half an hour later I closed the blinds, which left some light illuminating the pail colored blinds and lighting up the room as Vladimir shut the lights off, motioning for me to follow him out of the room. I did and he grabbed my hand and pulled me down the stairs, demanding that I go see what the 'peoples' wanted now.

Ever since the guys' plane 'crash' fans and photographers had been showing up sporadically to leave 'get well' cards by the front gate. Some would just stand outside hoping that day was the day that Matt would be coming home from the hospital. But now it seemed that more and more people were showing up at the gate, just standing there, letting me know that they knew that Matt was out.

I yanked my shoes on and pulled open the front door, groaning loudly when Vladimir raced past me and down the long tar driveway barefoot. "Vladimir!" I shouted after him, "Do not open that gate!"
He didn't stop running towards the black iron fence but just yelled back at me, "I won't Momma!"
I took my time as I walked to a group a girls who stood there fawning at my son. "Hi," I greeted, ruffling Vlad's hair as he sent them a dimpled smile. Camera's were flashing as we stood there and the three girls looked at me with sorrowful eyes.

"Is Matt okay?" One asked, swiping her brown hair from her shoulder and wrapping her fingers around the cool black iron that surrounded us.
I nodded, "Yes. He's just sore and we thought that it would be easy for him if he stayed with his parents for the time being so he could rest with out the monsters' waking him up," I murmured, replaying the story that Brian had told me multiple times this morning while I stood in my own room with the boys and Matt's parents after the doctor told us that we couldn't jog Matt's memory because it could make him have seizures or migraines constantly because of all the 'new' information.
Kim and Gary promised to keep all magazines away from him so he wouldn't accidentally find out about his sons from some ridiculous news paper article that would say something like, "M. Shadows runs away from commitment after near death experience. Ready to live life to the fullest."

"Oh," Another girl murmured, not meeting my gaze and instead looking at Vladimir with a small smile.
The third girl had dirty blonde hair and a sneer on her face as she spoke, "You call your sons monsters? That's a horrible thing to say!"
I shrugged with a chuckle as Vlad stuck his tongue out at her, "It was a nickname that Jimmy had made up for them a long time ago. It just stuck among the Avenged Family and they've been known as 'The Monsters' since then.
The first two girls nodded and gave me yet another look of sympathy as the third looked ashamed with herself.
"We miss The Rev," The second girl said quietly, picking at her finger nails.
I nodded and Vlad looked up at me sadly, his hazel eyes glistening with tears.
"Uncle Jimmy is on vacation teaching God to play the drums. Daddy said that Uncle Jimmy was so amazing that God wanted him all to himself," Vladimir murmured, hugging my waist.
"It's true," All three girls said at the same time and I chuckled with them while I pulled Vladimir into my arms.
"Well girls," I concluded, "This little monster needs a bath before he can do anything else,"
They all nodded and the first girl thanked me for telling them about Matt. I nodded and walked with Vlad in my arms back into the house. I noticed that we had been out there at least 30 minutes. I kicked my shoes off by the door and Vlad and I laid on the couch watching t.v for a bit, him in front of me as my back rested against the back of the couch.

"Momma?" Vladimir asked quietly not long after.
My gaze shifted to him as I asked, "Yeah, baby?"
Vlad sat up and I did too as he climbed into my lap and rested his head on my chest. His voice was soft when he spoke next, "Why didn't Daddy hug me and kiss me like he usually does when he comes home? He didn't even touch me, Momma,"
Tears sprung to my eyes from the sadness in my son's voice as he questioned that and I hugged him tighter against me, kissing his forehead.
"Daddy is sick, baby," I murmured, wishing he could somehow understand.
"But Daddy said he was fi-," I cut him off as his voice rose and panic laced his tone.
"He doesn't know he's sick, baby. That's what makes it all so hard,"
I wiped the tears from his porcelain cheek and he looked up to me, "I want Daddy to be okay. I miss my real Daddy. The man at the hospital wasn't my Daddy,"
I shook my head in disagreement, "No, that man just doesn't know he's your daddy,"
"Uh uh," Vladimir exclaimed, "That's a different person,"

As Vladimir climbed out of my lap and demanded that he wanted his bath now because he felt 'icky', I was shocked at how much my oldest son really understood. He was right, Matt isn't the same person. Right now he's the person he was seven years ago before we met and he was still in love with Val.