Memories That Vanished

I woke up around nine am the next day thanks to Vladimir and Landon jumping on my bed. I let out a roar and yanked both my boys down underneath of me.
"Momma stop it!" Vlad screeched as I began tickling both of their sides.
"Never!" I shouted, lifting their shirts and blowing on their stomachs.
Landon's giggles erupted into the room and he shouted, "No Mommy!" In between his laughter as his brother climbed onto my back.
I pulled on Vlad's shirt until he went falling off of me and onto the bed beside me as his younger brother attempted to cover himself with the purple blanket.
"Tag! You're it!" Vladimir shouted as he scrambled off of the bed and went flying out of the room. Landon giggled quietly from underneath the blanket and I grinned ripping the blanket off of him, "Boo!" I shouted and he screeched, trying to slid off of the bed but falling on his butt in the process.
I jumped off and landed on the floor next to him, pushing him down onto his back and leaning over him with a playful smirk on his face.

"How did you get out of bed?" I questioned and he grinned at me sheepishly.
"Vlad got me out," He murmured.
I leaned down and kissed his forehead, "Did he now?"
Landon just nodded his head, his blonde hair sweeping against the cool wooden floor.
"Well," I grinned, "Let's go find Vlad!"
He scurried to his feet and raced out of the room, his feety pajamas sliding around. I followed him as he ran to his own room and ducked under his dark wooden crib peaking out at me and shaking his head.
"He's not under there?" I questioned with faux disappointment while he crawled out and shrugged, walking past me and out of the room. I followed him to Vlad's room. The light red walls lit up when the sun, that was shining in through the windows, hit them. Vlad's blood red bed sheets were messy on top of his twin bed. His toys laid all over the floor and my eyes automatically scanned across the picture that he had on his dresser of him and his father before Matt left for tour.

I felt Landon tug on my baggy pajama pants so I looked down to the little boy as he pointed to the bed. I nodded and Landon laid down on the floor and began to army crawl to the bed. He rolled right under and I heard Vladimir groan,
"Landon!" He whined, "You're supposed to be on my side!"

Both of my boys climbed out from under the bed and Landon ran over to me with a huge grin on his face. The deep dimples showing on his face as well, as his older brother rolled his hazel eyes and stuck his tongue out at me. Being childish, I stuck my tongue out at him too and we made faces at each other until Landon pushed Vladimir away and pulled me from Vlad's room by the tip of my shirt. I pushed my choppy blonde hair from my eyes and followed my youngest son down the stairs, his brother following behind us asking for pancakes.

"Why don't we have something healthier, baby?" I asked, placing Landon in his high chair.
"I don't like healthy, Momma!" He shouted, crossing his arms with a pout on his face as he slid into one of the steel chairs next to our plexiglas kitchen table.
"How about fruit for breakfast?" I joked, chuckling at the glare he was sending me from where I stood behind the island in the middle of the kitchen.
"No." He muttered, scrunching up his face.
I grinned at him, knowing full well that he couldn't stay mad forever, "Okay, pancakes and fruit,"
His dimples appeared on his face and his brother smiled as well, knowing that food would be ready soon. I turned around and hit the 'on' button on the Ipod dock that was built into the dock, my Ipod already sitting there from when I cooked macaroni the night before. Matt had speakers installed in almost every room when he found me carrying around my Ipod and lugging my dock to each room that I wanted to listen to music in.

I shuddered as Matt's voice sounded from the speakers that were spaced through out the kitchen.

"How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Facing time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away..."

I grinned at Vladimir as he began to sing along to the lyrics he's memorized months before from all his time he spent in his father's studio with the band when he refused to go to day care while I worked. Landon clapped his little hands as the guitar solo came on and his older brother began playing air-guitar in his seat.
"I love you, You were ready!" Vladimir sang and I blew him a kiss as I poured the batter into a hot pan that sat on a burner.

Minutes late the three of us had a couple of pancakes in front of us as we sat at the kitchen table, Avenged's newest album playing from the speakers. Just as I was about to take my second bite the phone started to ring from it's charger on the counter. I popped the pancake in my mouth and hopped over to the Ipod, shutting it off.
"Hello?" I answered, swallowing afterwards.
"Hey Bryn," Brian's voice said on the phone and I smiled, walking back over to my steaming plate of syrup covered pancakes.
"Hey Bri. What's up? How's Mattie?" I took another voice as Brian responded in a dejected tone,
"Not any different then yesterday. It's heartbreaking really, He's so... different. Like he's 21 years old again. He doesn't even remember any of the fame or the what's happened in the band in the last few years,"
I sighed and even though my heart was shattering I sent a reassuring smile to the boys as they listened intently to every word I had said and was about to say,
"He'll come around. He has to," I murmured.
"Mhm," Brian replied, "How are the boys?"
I swallowed another bite and sighed, "They're doing okay, I guess. They don't really understand what is going on,"
Brian muttered, "Yeah."
It was silent for a moment before Brian spoke again, his voice lighter with a hint of excitement laced in it, "Oh! The reason I called was because we are having a barbie-que at my place around one. I want you to come of course."
"Mommy," Landon's impatient voice caught my attention, "Daddy?"
"Yeah Momma! How is Daddy?" Vladimir asked, smiling at his younger brother.
"Daddy is doing okay, guys," I whispered to them and turned my attention back to Brian on the phone.
"Sorry, Bri. The boys asked me a question," I apologized and he chuckled.
"No problem. They're curious, I know," I could hear him grinning on the other line, "So, what do you say? Are you coming?
"I don't know," I confessed, "I can't leave the boys home alone,"
"I already asked Matt's parents. They want to watch the boys," He said smugly.
I grinned and nodded to myself, "Sure I guess. Gary and Kim haven't seen the boys in awhile. Just let me ask them,"
Bri laughed as said "okay".
I set the phone down onto the table and looked at both of my boys seriously, "Guys, do you want to go to Grandma and Grandpa's today?"
"You Mommy?" Landon murmured, pointing at me questionably.
"No, baby. I'm not coming. I'm going to take care of Daddy," I admitted and Vladimir's eyes lit up.
"Can I come with, Momma?" He leaned onto the table, excitement written all over his face.
"No, baby," I ordered and he glared, "It's dangerous for Daddy if you come with,"
"I'll go to Grandma's Mommy," Landon said from his high chair. I smiled at him and told Vladimir that he'd be going with as well.

I picked up the phone. "I'll be there, Bri,"
He chuckled from the other line, "I know. See you at one. Love you,"
I grinned to myself, "Love you too, Brian. See you," I hung up the phone and turned to the boys.
"Come on, sticky fingers," I pulled Landon from his chair and Vlad hopped down from his following me into the master bathroom so they could both take a bath.

"Thanks so much guys," I voiced as she held Landon in her arms and Gary stood behind Vladimir with his hands on his shoulders as he pouted.
"No problem. We love spending time with the boys," Kim grinned and kissed Landon's forehead as he waved goodbye to me.
"Alright then, I'm off," I kissed both of the boys and made my way to Brian and Michelle's house. They had came and picked Matt up earlier in the day so that he wouldn't be here when I dropped his sons' off.
The ride to Brian's only took about 15 minutes and every mile closer my stomach swirled with anticipation and nervousness. When I pulled out up front I grinned at the familiar car and hopped out, shoving my cell phone into my back pocket in case one of the boys were to call. I banged on the door and Johnny whipped it open, wrapping his arm over my shoulder as we walked to backyard making small talk.
"I'm sorry," Johnny noted as he walked over to Lacey. I shot him a confused look and turned to where Brian stood. My breath caught in my throat and it was then that I knew what Johnny was sorry for. Matt sat on a pool chair near the edge but on his lap sat Valary, his arms wrapped around her waist as he conversed with Brian and Val with her sister.

I closer my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose and let it out through my mouth. Zacky called my name from where he stood waist deep in the pool.
"Yo! Zacky V!" I shouted back with a smirk, "What's happening?"
He grinned at me, "Not much, girl! Come join the party!"
I shook my head at the soaking wet man and made my way over to Brian. He pulled me into a hug, "How are you doing?" He whispered into my hair and I shrugged,
"I've been better, Bri,"
"Hang in there," He mumbled as he pulled away and Michelle hugged me as well only she kissed my cheek instead of talking. I turned to Matt and Valary and waved, "Hey," I stammered, mentally kicking myself for the thoughts of killing Valary.
"Hey," Matt greeted and Val shifted, uncomfortable, in his lap as I looked at her.
"Um," Val said, "Can I talk to you for a minute, Bryn?" She stood up and motioned towards the house. I looked to Brian and he nodded.
I sighed and motioned to the house as well, silently telling her to go on.

"Bryn..." She started, "What are you doing here?"
I laughed with humor, "What am I doing here? I'm here to check up on my husband,"
"No, no," She stressed, "I mean. What if something bad happens to him because of you being here?"
I shook my head slightly, "Nothing will. That's why I didn't bring our boys,"
Valary nodded, "I'm not trying to sound like a frigid bitch, Bryn. I just care about Matt. I always have," I could see the tears swelling in her eyes and I pulled her into a awkward hug.
"So have I. But it's hard Val. He doesn't even remember our boys,"
She sniffed and wiped the running mascara from her eyes, "He'll come around. But until then I think you three should stay away," She stated and my jaw fell open at her bluntness.
"No," I declared, "I'm not. Eventually they boys are going to have to see their father,"
Val sighed angrily, "Even if it's bad for his health?" She questioned loudly, her anger flaring as she looked past me out of the sliding glass door at the dimpled man sitting there, laughing with three of his best friends.
"It won't come to that, Valary. You can't tell me to stay away from my husband. He may not know he has his own family right now, but he will. I know you care, but I have two other boys to look out for. His children and they need him!" I pointed to the man that I had fallen in love with many years ago when we were both so young.
Val stayed quiet as tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. I took a seat onto Brian's couch and folded myself up into a ball, my head between my knees as I realized just how bad this is.
"...Bryn?" Val called quietly, taking a seat next to me.
"Yeah?" I asked, pulling myself up to sit straight.
"Just give him some more time. He'll remember, I know he will. He's M. fucking Shadows," She joked and I chuckled lightly knowing she was probably right. I'd have to wait.