Status: Partners in Crime!
There's No Way To Fix Us
Five
*Carla*
I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. He was my lab partner in biology, and everyone knows that you can't escape it. The twisting in my stomach was almost to much to bare; for almost 20 minutes I sat in the stall rocking back and forth like a baby in a crib trying to control the urge to puke. Some how I got the courage to get up without my muscles contracting me down to the floor again with yet another false alarm. Even before I got out of Momma Sharon's car, I could feel it; I can tell you, I am NOT going to make it through this day.
I had a slowed pace in the hallway as I trudged towards Biology. He would be the first one to notice me walk through the door, but he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me. Although I still don't have the slightest idea or even the closest hint to why. I could see nothing wrong with our relationship. I just don't get why he had the feeling that he needed to tear me apart, inside and out. I slowly open the door and walked over to hand Holloway the blue slip of paper and slip my feet on the ground into the only class I had even the smallest chance in liking, and sat in the uncomfortable stool next to Brad. I can't let him or them see me cry. I can't let them see me make a fool of myself over IT.
I drop my unwanted things onto the tiled floors, and hear him try to talk to me. It felt like the whole world had its eyes on us, like we were the only good television show on the planet.
"Carla..." he whispers as I make him completely oblivious to me.
"What do you want?" I sarcastically mumble, not looking at his gorgeous green eyes.
"Are you.... okay?" he asked, hoping I could give him a proper,and truthful answer like "Yeah, I'm okay after crying myself into some sort of coma and forcing myself to come here only to gag to no end, so yes I'm perfectly okay." But somehow I restrain myself to only, "It doesn't matter. I don't matter. You've made it clear," and I continue to take notes from the board that I've missed.
"Carla, you just don't understand..." he sorrowfully whispered back.
"I understand plenty," I snap to his face,when honestly he was right, I don't understand any of it. I'm luckily saved by the bell to lunch. I grab my bag and run out the door straight to the bathroom to throw up. How I mustered just that much speech to him, I have absolutely no clue. But the empty stomach I had was now completely dry and full of dust, adding to the feeling of sickness. All I could do was continue to rack back and forth on the ground.
Someone opened the door, but I didn't know who. Probably someone who didn't care, which was most people. I heard that comforting, sweet voice that could only be one girl.
"Carls?" She whispers into the cracked doorway. Her tone carried a worried-sick feeling.
"Steph? I... Is that y...you?" I could barely choke out from the biggest stall. The door fully whips open and the Converse's race across the linoleum floor.
"Com'mon girl, let me in there!" She was pushing the stall's door so hard, I thought she'd bust it in on top of her. I used the little strength I had left after my convulsing to slid across the floor to the make-shift wall and unlocked it. Stephanie literally fell to the ground to my weak body.
"Oh my gosh, Carls! What happened to you!" Her eyes were searching my face for the answer.
"I... I am not f... feeling well." Hopefully that would be enough to satisfy her. Unfortunately, knowing Steph, it wasn't going to.
"No chiz, babe! Honestly, what the hell is wrong?" She came around to my backside and tried to hold me still.
"B... Brad broke u... up with m... me. I d... don't know w...why." I was forcing myself to speak to her, although all I was saying was a mix of chokes and sobs. Steph stopped. She looked at me and said, "What? I had no idea hon, oh I am so sorry!" It took all I had to turn around to face her. I had to ask her this because I had seen it earlier and it looked odd.
"What is that on your arm?" It was a bruise. Quite large in size and looked tender.
"Nothing, I fell over the weekend, hit my arm on the railing." She was hiding something but Carla decided not to go any further.
"Com'mon babe. Let's go to lunch, you know you have to eat." She slowly stood as she held out her hand. I took it reluctantly and swayed because of how unbalanced I was. We walked out of the bathroom and toward the cafeteria.
We make our way through the double doors into the large, loud cafeteria, and through the lunch line for salads. I really don't want to eat anything but Steph forces me to anyhow. What a waste of food. Once we get out of the line, I head over to an empty table and face the doorway. Stephanie follows. But the whole time I am being watched, by him.
She doesn't stay long before she gets up and says "I'll be right back, hon." I watch her stride over to his table. *Oh no...* I think to myself. What is she doing? Again, I have no clue.
I bet you he's still afraid, afraid of everything. Us being together, him getting me in trouble, us having sex. I just wish he would grow up, that part of him. I love him. That is all I can say, I love that boy with everything I have, I have nothing to lose. Because everything I had is now gone. He stole it all. I feel a tear slid down my cheek. I have that feeling that all eyes, or just one, is on me again. I hate to be the center of attention. More tears fall on the hard plastic in front of my face. I keep my head down. Why should pay attention to everyone who has their attention on me?
I feel a hand slid across my shoulders and a warm body at my left side. It's Steph, I know. I slightly lift my head to look at her gold eyes. There was no need to exchange words because we could read each others thoughts. Silent conversations. Silent agreement. Behind us we hear a ruckus. It's Brad standing up from his table and storming out the back door of the cafe. All three of us, Steph, Scarlet and I stare at him as he leaves. He jumps in his car and flies off campus. Simultaneously, Steph and I look at each other. Scarlet walks over to our table and sits at my right. I stare at her ruby-maroon eyes, which is why we call her Scarlet. She nods at my telepathic question.
*You know where he went don't you?*
*Yeah I do... And there is no doubt in there world you know too.*
*Mhmm...* I stare straight ahead until I get up from my table, dump the uneaten food, and exit the cafeteria.
I love the library. That is the only other thing I might have loved more than our relationship. I even had my own beanbag chair that Ms. Weeble kept in the back corner for me. I go straight there and let nothing stop me. I curl up in the chair and cover my face with the black devil jacket I wore. I was oblivious to the world right now. I love being alone here. Just like Brad loves to be alone at his "special" place.
I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. He was my lab partner in biology, and everyone knows that you can't escape it. The twisting in my stomach was almost to much to bare; for almost 20 minutes I sat in the stall rocking back and forth like a baby in a crib trying to control the urge to puke. Some how I got the courage to get up without my muscles contracting me down to the floor again with yet another false alarm. Even before I got out of Momma Sharon's car, I could feel it; I can tell you, I am NOT going to make it through this day.
I had a slowed pace in the hallway as I trudged towards Biology. He would be the first one to notice me walk through the door, but he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me. Although I still don't have the slightest idea or even the closest hint to why. I could see nothing wrong with our relationship. I just don't get why he had the feeling that he needed to tear me apart, inside and out. I slowly open the door and walked over to hand Holloway the blue slip of paper and slip my feet on the ground into the only class I had even the smallest chance in liking, and sat in the uncomfortable stool next to Brad. I can't let him or them see me cry. I can't let them see me make a fool of myself over IT.
I drop my unwanted things onto the tiled floors, and hear him try to talk to me. It felt like the whole world had its eyes on us, like we were the only good television show on the planet.
"Carla..." he whispers as I make him completely oblivious to me.
"What do you want?" I sarcastically mumble, not looking at his gorgeous green eyes.
"Are you.... okay?" he asked, hoping I could give him a proper,and truthful answer like "Yeah, I'm okay after crying myself into some sort of coma and forcing myself to come here only to gag to no end, so yes I'm perfectly okay." But somehow I restrain myself to only, "It doesn't matter. I don't matter. You've made it clear," and I continue to take notes from the board that I've missed.
"Carla, you just don't understand..." he sorrowfully whispered back.
"I understand plenty," I snap to his face,when honestly he was right, I don't understand any of it. I'm luckily saved by the bell to lunch. I grab my bag and run out the door straight to the bathroom to throw up. How I mustered just that much speech to him, I have absolutely no clue. But the empty stomach I had was now completely dry and full of dust, adding to the feeling of sickness. All I could do was continue to rack back and forth on the ground.
Someone opened the door, but I didn't know who. Probably someone who didn't care, which was most people. I heard that comforting, sweet voice that could only be one girl.
"Carls?" She whispers into the cracked doorway. Her tone carried a worried-sick feeling.
"Steph? I... Is that y...you?" I could barely choke out from the biggest stall. The door fully whips open and the Converse's race across the linoleum floor.
"Com'mon girl, let me in there!" She was pushing the stall's door so hard, I thought she'd bust it in on top of her. I used the little strength I had left after my convulsing to slid across the floor to the make-shift wall and unlocked it. Stephanie literally fell to the ground to my weak body.
"Oh my gosh, Carls! What happened to you!" Her eyes were searching my face for the answer.
"I... I am not f... feeling well." Hopefully that would be enough to satisfy her. Unfortunately, knowing Steph, it wasn't going to.
"No chiz, babe! Honestly, what the hell is wrong?" She came around to my backside and tried to hold me still.
"B... Brad broke u... up with m... me. I d... don't know w...why." I was forcing myself to speak to her, although all I was saying was a mix of chokes and sobs. Steph stopped. She looked at me and said, "What? I had no idea hon, oh I am so sorry!" It took all I had to turn around to face her. I had to ask her this because I had seen it earlier and it looked odd.
"What is that on your arm?" It was a bruise. Quite large in size and looked tender.
"Nothing, I fell over the weekend, hit my arm on the railing." She was hiding something but Carla decided not to go any further.
"Com'mon babe. Let's go to lunch, you know you have to eat." She slowly stood as she held out her hand. I took it reluctantly and swayed because of how unbalanced I was. We walked out of the bathroom and toward the cafeteria.
We make our way through the double doors into the large, loud cafeteria, and through the lunch line for salads. I really don't want to eat anything but Steph forces me to anyhow. What a waste of food. Once we get out of the line, I head over to an empty table and face the doorway. Stephanie follows. But the whole time I am being watched, by him.
She doesn't stay long before she gets up and says "I'll be right back, hon." I watch her stride over to his table. *Oh no...* I think to myself. What is she doing? Again, I have no clue.
I bet you he's still afraid, afraid of everything. Us being together, him getting me in trouble, us having sex. I just wish he would grow up, that part of him. I love him. That is all I can say, I love that boy with everything I have, I have nothing to lose. Because everything I had is now gone. He stole it all. I feel a tear slid down my cheek. I have that feeling that all eyes, or just one, is on me again. I hate to be the center of attention. More tears fall on the hard plastic in front of my face. I keep my head down. Why should pay attention to everyone who has their attention on me?
I feel a hand slid across my shoulders and a warm body at my left side. It's Steph, I know. I slightly lift my head to look at her gold eyes. There was no need to exchange words because we could read each others thoughts. Silent conversations. Silent agreement. Behind us we hear a ruckus. It's Brad standing up from his table and storming out the back door of the cafe. All three of us, Steph, Scarlet and I stare at him as he leaves. He jumps in his car and flies off campus. Simultaneously, Steph and I look at each other. Scarlet walks over to our table and sits at my right. I stare at her ruby-maroon eyes, which is why we call her Scarlet. She nods at my telepathic question.
*You know where he went don't you?*
*Yeah I do... And there is no doubt in there world you know too.*
*Mhmm...* I stare straight ahead until I get up from my table, dump the uneaten food, and exit the cafeteria.
I love the library. That is the only other thing I might have loved more than our relationship. I even had my own beanbag chair that Ms. Weeble kept in the back corner for me. I go straight there and let nothing stop me. I curl up in the chair and cover my face with the black devil jacket I wore. I was oblivious to the world right now. I love being alone here. Just like Brad loves to be alone at his "special" place.