I Saw Your Heart as It Overtook Me

I stared at matt, hesitating to repeat myself because of the unreadable expression on his face.

"I-I ... " I trailed off, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "I said I need to come up with twelve grand by the morning."

I seriously wish that Matt would stop staring at me like that ... Or at least close his damn mouth.

"That's what I thought you said." He replied quietly, removing his hand from mine and turned his gaze back to the street as the light turned green.

I gave him a funny look when I realized that's all he was going to say about it. He glanced over at me real fast and laughed a bit at the look on my face.

"What? I have enough money for you babe." He said, giving me a half smile. "Don't worry about it."

"I-I ... Matt, I don't want your money." I said blankly. "I-I, I mean ... You don't even wanna know what it's for or anything?"

"Oh ... Er ... What's it for?" He asked hesitantly as we pulled into our driveway.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over to give him a kiss, biting my lip as I pulled away looking up into his eyes.

"Lauren what is it?" He asked softly, placing a hand on the side of my face.

"Matt ... Do you know who Chase Edwards is?" I asked timidly.

He scrunched his eyebrows up a bit, looking as if he were searching his brain for a match.

"Oh yeah, it's he the drug dealer up in ... " He trailed off, lowering his hand a bit.

"Well, I ran into him at the club and he sort of reminded me of my debt." I said quietly.

Matt dropped his touch from my cheek altogether, letting out a little laugh of disbelief when he heard the honesty in my words.

"So let me get this straight; you bought $12,000 worth of drugs from this guy and just 'happened' to forget to pay him?" Matt asked, his voice showing a pinch of anger in there.

"Baby, please, don't get mad." I mumbled.

The cold look that had suddenly flashed across his face faded away, leaving nothing but love and care to show in his eyes.

"Fine, alright, I won't." He said. "So what are we gonna do about this, babe? Do you have the money?"

I lowered my eyes from his questioning stare and shook my head, feeling the tears fall down. Fuck, this isn't the way I wanted to kick off our relationship.

"Shh, it's okay, I'll get the money for you first thing in the morning." He whispered, wiping the tears away.

"Matt, you don't ha-"

"Okay?" He asked a little more sternly (actually it was more of a statement than a question but eh, oh well).

"Yeah." I sniffed.

"Okay." He said softly, giving me a gently kiss on the lips. "Let's go inside then and get some sleep."

I nodded as he pulled away and got out of the car, joining Matt on his side so we could walk to the front door together. Matt reached over and lacing his fingers with mine, bringing my hand up so he could place a kiss on it.

I felt my face started to flush (hey, I still wasn't too used to all this lovey, dovey, showing affection type of stuff) and I wrapped my arms around Matt's middle, burying my face in his chest as soon as we stopped at the door. He in turn wrapped an arm around my shoulders as he dug in his pockets, looking for the keys.

I heard them jingling as he reached over to fit them into the lock and soon the door hinges squeaked as Matt swung the door open. He picked me up, cradling my ass in his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders.

He kicked the door shut behind him and kicked off his shoes before he continued up the stairs and to our bedroom. Once we got there, he fumbled his hand along the wall, looking for the switch, spilling light upon the room as soon as he flicked it up.

He sat me down on the bed and kissed my forehead before he walked across the room, digging out a cami top for me to sleep in. He tossed it over to me before he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving me to change.

After I had dripped down to nothing but my lacy maroon panties, I slipped my cami over my head and climbed underneath the covers. Soon, Matt came back into the room, stripped down to his boxers, and turned off the light before he joined me under the blankies.

One of his heavily tatted and nicely toned arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my small figure to his larger one. I cuddled into his frame, resting my head on his chest. I felt him shift slightly and then his soft lips were pressing gently against my forehead.

I raised my head and smiled softly up at him as he reached over to lock his lips with mine. This kiss, like most kisses, started out as an innocent one but soon turned into a full blown make out session. Before I knew it I was underneath Matt while his tongue was still taking control over mine and his hands were trying frantically to get a hold of my panties.

I broke our kiss and grabbed a hold of his hands to stop him from sliding them down. He stared down at me with a confused look on his face, panting slightly, questioning me with his eyes as to why I stopped him.

But, actually, he already knew why I did it.

"Lauren, I won't hurt you." He said softly, pulling his hands away to let them rest underneath either of my arms.

"I know ... I just ... I don't know." I mumbled, biting my lip slightly.

"Baby, it's been almost five months."

"I know."

Matt sighed but nodded his head all the same.

"I'll wait till you're ready then babe, I'm not gonna force you into anything." He said sincerely, reaching over to give me one last kiss on the lips.

"Thank you." I whispered as he rested his head on my chest.

Yes, when he said 'it's been five months' he was referring to when I was raped.

Matt and I haven't had sex since we've been together; true, it's only been three days but still. Actually, I haven't even done anything 'sexual' (apart from kissing and that little bit of dirty dancing I did with Matt) since that happened. In fact, that was the first time I ever let anybody touch me in that way when Chase kindly reminded me of my debt.

I don't know why I stopped Matt every time he got 'in the mood'; honestly I felt bad for all the times I've cockblocked him. I guess I was just a little nervous. Why? I don't know.

I heard Matt's soft, steady breathing and knew that he had already fallen asleep. I grabbed a hold of the comforter (which had gotten a bit messed up during our hardcore make out session) and straightened it out, pulling it over the top of us.

Looking on last time at Matt sleeping soundly on top of me I closed my eyes and was soon asleep myself.


The next morning when I woke up I found that I was all by myself in the ice cold bedroom. I frowned slightly to myself as I pulled the blankets tighter around me in hopes to get more warmth from them.

"Matt?" I called out, hoping that he was only in the bathroom.

Silence greeted my ears.

I rolled over and looked at the clock. Damn, it's only 7-fucking-30 in the morning. Where the fuck could Matt be this damn early in the morning?

Suddenly I heard the front door slam and I got up, walking to the door to peak out into the hallway.

"Baby?" I called out. "Matt, is that you?"

"No, it's fucking Johnny Depp." Matt replied, appearing at the top of the stairs.

I stuck my tongue out at him and stepped out into the hallway, placing my hands on my hips.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking around this early in the morning?" I asked, tilting my head to the side a bit.

"Er ... To get your money." He said hesitantly.

"Oh yeah ... " I trailed off, rubbing the back of my neck. "So ... I guess I should get dressed and it on up there to him."

"Do you know how to find him?" Matt asked, coming to a stop in front of me.

I nodded my head.

"I'll take you up there if you want babe." He offered, wrapping his strong arms around me.

"No Matt, I wanna go by myself. I don't want you getting all mixed up in this shit. I just wanna get this over with so I don't have to think about him ever again." I mumbled into his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

"Okay." He sighed. "The money's in that bag by the couch."

"Alright." I whispered, reaching up to give him a kiss.

As I started to pull away his hand found its way to the back of my head, stopping me so he could press his lips harder to mine, kissing me deeply. Although it wasn't open mouthed, it was still full of passion and love. Finally, he pulled away from me slowly and looked straight into my eyes.

"Be careful Lauren." He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I will." I replied.

"Please ... I don't want to lose you again."


I stood on the threshold of an enormous mansion nestled peacefully in good ol' Beverly Hills. Taking a deep breath I reached up and rang the doorbell hearing it go off inside. I don't know why I had to ring the doorbell. I mean, Chase already knew I was here; I had talked to him through the intercom when I pulled up to the front gate.

About thirty seconds later I heard footsteps approaching the door and it swung open. Chase stared at me for a couple of seconds, looked down at the black bag in clutched in my left hand, and then back up to me.

"Here's your money." I said coldly, shoving the bag into his hands.

A smile slowly played across his face he held onto the bag.

"Compliments to your boyfriend, huh?" He asked.

I felt my heart drop slightly and it must have shown on my face because Chase's smile got, if possible, bigger.

"Yes, I know that you have a boyfriend now Miss Lauren Amber Baker. Lead vocalist of your brother's band, not bad." He sneered. "He sure sounds like a keeper."

"Yeah, he is." I said quietly, looking down at the ground.

I felt shivers run down my back as Chase slipped a couple fingers underneath my chin, making me look him in the eye.

"Do you love him Lauren?" He asked quietly, letting the smile fade from his face.

I bit my lip and nodded my head.

"I do Chase." I whispered.

"Oh." He said, letting his hand fall back down to the side. "What made you change your mind about the whole love thing?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know ... It's just that there are some things you can't help but feel I guess. And love's one of those things."

"Yeah, that's true." He replied. "But ... Just to let you know, if he breaks your heart ... Just let me know and I'll take care of him for you."

I felt my stomach do a weird sort of jolt as I stared in horror up at Chase. I knew exactly the type of things he'd do to 'take care of him.'

"Chase." I said weakly. "Please, just stay away from him."

"Alright love, I will." He said, giving me a reassuring smile.

I nodded my head and turned around to start towards the steps.

"But just to let you know ahead of time Lauren." He called after me, making me stop and turn around to look at him. "This whole love thing really is as shitty as you always thought it to be. Trust me, I've been there, and honestly it's not worth the effort. So do me a favor and try not to get your hopes up too much."

I chose not to reply and continued my way down the stairs and to my car.

I know that Chase has been pretty jaded in the love department but a part of me couldn't help but wonder whether or not what he said was true. Was love really all what it was cracked up to be? Or was it all just overrated like Chase had said?

It seemed fucking awesome to me ... But then again I never really did have a good judgment of things.