I Saw Your Heart as It Overtook Me
Do You Love My Son?
Matt's POV
I kept looking back and forth between my mother and Lauren. Lauren had the most composed expressions on her face while my mom ... well, honestly, the look on her face was priceless. My mom was the sort of woman who always knew what to say and right now ... she was actually at a loss for words.
I decided to clear my throat to break the unnerving silence, making my presence known. As I walked across the living room it seemed as if each and every set of eyes were on me. Lauren looked up at me, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink when her eyes connected with mine.
I gave her a soft smile that assured her I wasn't mad with what she had said, but rather pretty damn psyched.
This is exactly why I didn't want my mom to know about Lauren and I until the two actually sat down and got to know one another. I knew my mom would like Lauren ... But I knew that if she was told before hand that Lauren was my new girlfriend, my mom wouldn't even have given her a chance.
Luck seemed to be on our side today and somehow, for whatever reason it may be, my mom couldn't connect neither Lauren's pitch black hair, nor her stunning green eyes to a surname 'Baker.' Funny how some things work out that way.
I held my hand out to Lauren and she hesitantly took it in her own, giving me a puzzled look.
I mouthed the words 'come on' to her and she stood up, smoothing her skirt out as she did so. I laced my fingers with hers and brought her hand up so I could place a quick kiss on the top of it before I turned around and led her over to where my mom was sitting. A couple feet before her I stopped and pulled Lauren to stand in front of me.
"Mom, this is my girlfriend Lauren." I said cheerfully.
I let a little smile play across my face as my mom's mouth dropped open. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to rub this all in my mom's face, saying 'I proved you wrong' and all that shit, it's just that this whole scene seemed pretty funny to me.
"And Lauren, I'd like you to meet my dad." I said, shoving her slightly in his direction.
"Hello ma'am." He said, giving Lauren a warm smile. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"It's nice to finally meet you too sir." Lauren replied, shaking his hand.
There were a couple more seconds of silence. I was really starting to hate the deafening sound of silence.
"So." Zacky spoke up. "Since we're all acquainted with one another what do you guys say we get dinner started?"
It's about time he started acting like a damn host ... I mean, this was his house for crying out loud.
The living room instantly erupted back into chatter as the sound of seventeen different bodies started to move around, making their way towards the dining room. I glanced down at Lauren and flashed another smile.
However, when I looked in her eyes, instead of seeing warmth and radiance in them all that greeted me was, well, nothing. There was no signs of anything in her eyes at all. That's when the hurt flashed inside of them.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked, placing a hand on the side of her face; partly because it comforted her and partly to wipe away the tears in case they decided to fall.
"She hates me now, doesn't she? I mean ... s-she fucking absolutely hates me." She whispered, her eyes starting to gloss over.
"Lauren, my mom doesn't hate you ... She just said she liked you." I said softly.
"But ... the look on her face when she realized that I was that 'Baker girl' she was bad mouthing just minutes before. She looked like she was completely disgusted just by looking at me."
"Shh, baby." I cooed. "She wasn't disgusted, s-"
"Yes she was." Lauren insisted, her eyes becoming dangerously watery.
"Lauren, I lived most of my life with the woman; I know how to read her facial expressions." I said, smiling softly.
My smile soon faded away altogether when I saw a single tear cascade down one of her flawless cheeks. It's weird because you'd never imagine what the sight of a single tear could do to your heart. At the moment I felt mine starting to fall, very similar to how that one tear had fell.
I hated it whenever Lauren cried; I hated it because it just tore me up inside. I'd wish so bad that there was something I could do to make her stop but there was always nothing I could think of that'd help.
"Baby, she doesn't hate you." I whispered, pulling Lauren into a hug. "I know she don't. Now, it might be a little awkward with her ... but she'll warm up to you." I said quietly as I started to rock her back and forth in my arms.
Lauren sniffed, tightening her arms around me.
"Since you're 'oh so loveable." I added with a hint of laughter in my voice.
Another couple seconds of silence.
"Yeah ... I am aren't I?" She asked quietly pulling away to flash me a weak smile, but it was a smile none the less.
End of Matt's POV
Since there were so many damn people over for Thanksgiving, we sort of had to slip up into two different rooms. We decided to let our parents and such sit at the actually dinner table in the dining room while us youngsters sat around in the second living room.
After everyone finished eating we all met up in the main living room (I swear, my brother's house had too many damn rooms in it) once again. It was fun; we 'mingled,' BS'd about random stuff, talked about the football game that went on earlier in the day, even discussed Zacky and Amber's wedding coming up in a few days time.
I took turns talking with everyone's parents ... well, everyone but Matt's mom. I know Matt said that she don't hate me and I really want to believe him. But it's just that every time we got within arms length of each other I could feel the extreme tension between us. The way she looked at me ... it was like she was looking down on me or something.
I tried to ignore it. But, you know you can only ignore that itch right in the middle of your back for so long.
I was currently stuck listening to a conversation going on between Jimmy and my mom. Of course I threw in the occasional 'yeah' or 'no' here and there, supporting one of them in what they had said (although I didn't really know what they were talking about). That's when I saw Matt's mom sitting by herself, sipping on some Sparkling Cider.
"Um, excuse me." I said, stepping away from where my mom and Jimmy were standing.
Honestly I don't think they even noticed me leave.
"Er ... Mrs. Sanders, can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked, stopping in front of her.
She looked lazily up at me, cocking her head to the side a bit.
"About?"
"Well, I just wanted to get some things cleared up between up. I mean, I'm sure you've been feeling this sort of tension between us this whole time as well and ... " I trailed off, fiddling with my hands.
"I suppose so." She sighed, scooting over to make some room for me on the love seat. "No use putting this off until later so, let's just get it over with."
"Er ... Right." I said quietly, taking a seat.
Although there was a quite a lot of noise in the room, all that Mrs. Sanders and I heard was silence. We sat there, both of us waiting for the other to speak up so we didn't have to.
Fuck this, I guess I'm just gonna have to break the ice.
"Mrs. S-"
"You know my son says he loves you." She said blankly, staring across the room to where Matt was talking to Papa Gates and Syn.
"Oh ... I-"
"But what I'm curious to know is." She paused for a couple of seconds during which she turned her steady gaze to me. "Do you love my son?"
I stared her straight in the eye, never breaking our contact.
"Yes ma'am, I do."
She nodded her head, turning to look back around the room.
"I remember when I first heard about your little escapades, Lauren. It was all so much of a, well, a shock I guess. I mean, you just seemed to have changed over night. And then I heard about you and the drugs, the drinking, the abuse ... "
'The sex' I thought inside my head.
"All this things seemed to grow worse and worse over time. I know that these sorts of things, these habits, don't drop over night."
"You're right." I said quietly. "I didn't drop them over night; it took months. I'm not going to lie to you about the drinking though; I didn't quit that. But as for the drugs and the physical, mental, and emotional abuse I would inflict upon others ... Well, your son was one of the people who helped me realize that that wasn't who I really was."
Mrs. Sanders nodded her head once again, still looking towards the opposite direction of the room.
"Lauren ... About what I said earlier." She hesitated for a moment, checking her nails in what she probably thought was a casual way. "Er ... I'm sure by now you know all too well how easy it is for Matt to say sorry, right?"
"Ha, yeah. He's just so awesome at it." I said sarcastically.
Come on, we all know how hard headed the son of a bitch is.
"Well, in case you were wondering where he got that from ... Um ... I Screw it, I'm sorry for those things I said about you. I had no right to say them because of the fact that I chose to believe what others said of you rather than getting to know you myself." She said in a rush, almost as if she wanted to get it all out before her pride got the best of her.
So, I thought to myself, this is where Matt gets his stubbornness from. I guess it's true when they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I kept looking back and forth between my mother and Lauren. Lauren had the most composed expressions on her face while my mom ... well, honestly, the look on her face was priceless. My mom was the sort of woman who always knew what to say and right now ... she was actually at a loss for words.
I decided to clear my throat to break the unnerving silence, making my presence known. As I walked across the living room it seemed as if each and every set of eyes were on me. Lauren looked up at me, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink when her eyes connected with mine.
I gave her a soft smile that assured her I wasn't mad with what she had said, but rather pretty damn psyched.
This is exactly why I didn't want my mom to know about Lauren and I until the two actually sat down and got to know one another. I knew my mom would like Lauren ... But I knew that if she was told before hand that Lauren was my new girlfriend, my mom wouldn't even have given her a chance.
Luck seemed to be on our side today and somehow, for whatever reason it may be, my mom couldn't connect neither Lauren's pitch black hair, nor her stunning green eyes to a surname 'Baker.' Funny how some things work out that way.
I held my hand out to Lauren and she hesitantly took it in her own, giving me a puzzled look.
I mouthed the words 'come on' to her and she stood up, smoothing her skirt out as she did so. I laced my fingers with hers and brought her hand up so I could place a quick kiss on the top of it before I turned around and led her over to where my mom was sitting. A couple feet before her I stopped and pulled Lauren to stand in front of me.
"Mom, this is my girlfriend Lauren." I said cheerfully.
I let a little smile play across my face as my mom's mouth dropped open. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to rub this all in my mom's face, saying 'I proved you wrong' and all that shit, it's just that this whole scene seemed pretty funny to me.
"And Lauren, I'd like you to meet my dad." I said, shoving her slightly in his direction.
"Hello ma'am." He said, giving Lauren a warm smile. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"It's nice to finally meet you too sir." Lauren replied, shaking his hand.
There were a couple more seconds of silence. I was really starting to hate the deafening sound of silence.
"So." Zacky spoke up. "Since we're all acquainted with one another what do you guys say we get dinner started?"
It's about time he started acting like a damn host ... I mean, this was his house for crying out loud.
The living room instantly erupted back into chatter as the sound of seventeen different bodies started to move around, making their way towards the dining room. I glanced down at Lauren and flashed another smile.
However, when I looked in her eyes, instead of seeing warmth and radiance in them all that greeted me was, well, nothing. There was no signs of anything in her eyes at all. That's when the hurt flashed inside of them.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked, placing a hand on the side of her face; partly because it comforted her and partly to wipe away the tears in case they decided to fall.
"She hates me now, doesn't she? I mean ... s-she fucking absolutely hates me." She whispered, her eyes starting to gloss over.
"Lauren, my mom doesn't hate you ... She just said she liked you." I said softly.
"But ... the look on her face when she realized that I was that 'Baker girl' she was bad mouthing just minutes before. She looked like she was completely disgusted just by looking at me."
"Shh, baby." I cooed. "She wasn't disgusted, s-"
"Yes she was." Lauren insisted, her eyes becoming dangerously watery.
"Lauren, I lived most of my life with the woman; I know how to read her facial expressions." I said, smiling softly.
My smile soon faded away altogether when I saw a single tear cascade down one of her flawless cheeks. It's weird because you'd never imagine what the sight of a single tear could do to your heart. At the moment I felt mine starting to fall, very similar to how that one tear had fell.
I hated it whenever Lauren cried; I hated it because it just tore me up inside. I'd wish so bad that there was something I could do to make her stop but there was always nothing I could think of that'd help.
"Baby, she doesn't hate you." I whispered, pulling Lauren into a hug. "I know she don't. Now, it might be a little awkward with her ... but she'll warm up to you." I said quietly as I started to rock her back and forth in my arms.
Lauren sniffed, tightening her arms around me.
"Since you're 'oh so loveable." I added with a hint of laughter in my voice.
Another couple seconds of silence.
"Yeah ... I am aren't I?" She asked quietly pulling away to flash me a weak smile, but it was a smile none the less.
End of Matt's POV
Since there were so many damn people over for Thanksgiving, we sort of had to slip up into two different rooms. We decided to let our parents and such sit at the actually dinner table in the dining room while us youngsters sat around in the second living room.
After everyone finished eating we all met up in the main living room (I swear, my brother's house had too many damn rooms in it) once again. It was fun; we 'mingled,' BS'd about random stuff, talked about the football game that went on earlier in the day, even discussed Zacky and Amber's wedding coming up in a few days time.
I took turns talking with everyone's parents ... well, everyone but Matt's mom. I know Matt said that she don't hate me and I really want to believe him. But it's just that every time we got within arms length of each other I could feel the extreme tension between us. The way she looked at me ... it was like she was looking down on me or something.
I tried to ignore it. But, you know you can only ignore that itch right in the middle of your back for so long.
I was currently stuck listening to a conversation going on between Jimmy and my mom. Of course I threw in the occasional 'yeah' or 'no' here and there, supporting one of them in what they had said (although I didn't really know what they were talking about). That's when I saw Matt's mom sitting by herself, sipping on some Sparkling Cider.
"Um, excuse me." I said, stepping away from where my mom and Jimmy were standing.
Honestly I don't think they even noticed me leave.
"Er ... Mrs. Sanders, can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked, stopping in front of her.
She looked lazily up at me, cocking her head to the side a bit.
"About?"
"Well, I just wanted to get some things cleared up between up. I mean, I'm sure you've been feeling this sort of tension between us this whole time as well and ... " I trailed off, fiddling with my hands.
"I suppose so." She sighed, scooting over to make some room for me on the love seat. "No use putting this off until later so, let's just get it over with."
"Er ... Right." I said quietly, taking a seat.
Although there was a quite a lot of noise in the room, all that Mrs. Sanders and I heard was silence. We sat there, both of us waiting for the other to speak up so we didn't have to.
Fuck this, I guess I'm just gonna have to break the ice.
"Mrs. S-"
"You know my son says he loves you." She said blankly, staring across the room to where Matt was talking to Papa Gates and Syn.
"Oh ... I-"
"But what I'm curious to know is." She paused for a couple of seconds during which she turned her steady gaze to me. "Do you love my son?"
I stared her straight in the eye, never breaking our contact.
"Yes ma'am, I do."
She nodded her head, turning to look back around the room.
"I remember when I first heard about your little escapades, Lauren. It was all so much of a, well, a shock I guess. I mean, you just seemed to have changed over night. And then I heard about you and the drugs, the drinking, the abuse ... "
'The sex' I thought inside my head.
"All this things seemed to grow worse and worse over time. I know that these sorts of things, these habits, don't drop over night."
"You're right." I said quietly. "I didn't drop them over night; it took months. I'm not going to lie to you about the drinking though; I didn't quit that. But as for the drugs and the physical, mental, and emotional abuse I would inflict upon others ... Well, your son was one of the people who helped me realize that that wasn't who I really was."
Mrs. Sanders nodded her head once again, still looking towards the opposite direction of the room.
"Lauren ... About what I said earlier." She hesitated for a moment, checking her nails in what she probably thought was a casual way. "Er ... I'm sure by now you know all too well how easy it is for Matt to say sorry, right?"
"Ha, yeah. He's just so awesome at it." I said sarcastically.
Come on, we all know how hard headed the son of a bitch is.
"Well, in case you were wondering where he got that from ... Um ... I Screw it, I'm sorry for those things I said about you. I had no right to say them because of the fact that I chose to believe what others said of you rather than getting to know you myself." She said in a rush, almost as if she wanted to get it all out before her pride got the best of her.
So, I thought to myself, this is where Matt gets his stubbornness from. I guess it's true when they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.