Take This To Heart

“What floor?” I hear the excitement in Alex’s voice. He was ecstatic. And I was nervous.
“Fourth.” I could barely hear Mona’s voice from the other end of the conversation. Alex had his phone’s volume really low.

“Alright.” He replied, jittery. The elevator dinged open. “We’re stepping in now.” It seemed impossible for all five of us to get into the cramped space, but we did it and the elevator doors jerked close. In shuddering motion, the elevator climbed upwards and my eyes were bugging out, darting around the small area.

Nervous was beginning to become an understatement. I was scared. Elevators got stuck all the time. What if we got stuck in one and I wouldn’t be able to see Emma today? What if it took them a few days just to get the machine open? Would our oxygen supply dwindle to nothing and we’d all suffocate? What if they never got it open? What if-?

The elevator doors dinged open and I breathed a sign of relief. I rushed forward onto the safety of the ground and not the clamping jaws of a metal machine that could easily break and fall and crash or collapse into a deathbed of twisted -.

I was cut off when arms wrapped around me in a firm, crushing hug. I breathed in. Mona. My nose filled with the pleasant smell of her vanilla scented skin. Her choice of body wash never seemed so inviting and it made me feel as if I was already home.

She released me, only to have Alex run at her, picking her up and twirling her around. She giggled, her hands resting on his shoulders. I couldn’t stop a smile from slipping.

“You too are so cliché to the point where it’s just gross.” Jack laughed.

“Seriously,” Zack teased in agreement.

Mona’s cheeks were tinted pink, but she quickly returned back to me. She stoked my cheek. “You’re hair’s lighter,” She smiled. “It looks good.”

“What?!” Jack shouted and was soon shushed by a nurse walking by. He apologized before turning back to Mona. “You can’t tell barely tell that it’s changed shades! Like a shade lighter! That’s it!”

“More like three or four shades lighter, jacka-“ Alex was cut off my Mona’s glare.

“There are kids here. You’re not cursing.”

Alex bowed his head apologetically, but I turned my attention back to Jack, smiling. “You couldn’t tell the difference between a penguin and a duck if both of them came up to you and bit you in the butt.”

Jack laughed. “It wouldn’t matter; both would be dead with these guns.” He smiled and started flexing before realizing all the muscles in group obviously belonged to Zack. He rushed over to Zack and grabbed his arm, forcing him to bend his arm at the elbow and flex.

“Get offa me.” Zack playfully said, pushing Jack away.

Jack feigned hurt.

I ignored their scene and turned towards Mona. “When do I get to see Emma?”

She gave an apologetic smile. “You’ve got thirty minutes until visitation starts.”

My mouth dropped. “I’ve ridden in a bus for over a day just to get here and am still having to wait?! Imma be dead before they even let me see her!” I dramatically sighed and threw my hand over my face.

Mona smirked. “I see how it is. You don’t want to see me. Only Emma.”

I removed my hand. “You didn’t have a near death experience.”

She seemed shocked and taken back at my complete seriousness but when I busted out laughing she knew I was just kidding.

I hugged her tightly. “No, I missed you, too, but you know how close I am to Emma. I just need to see her.”

She smiled like a mother would in admiration. “I know. So why don’t we all go sit down and talk. We can catch up as we wait.”

We all gathered around in the small waiting area. Mona told me about how the first thing Emma said when she woke up was asked “Where her Birdie was”.

“The nurses had no clue what she was talking about.” She laughed. “They even went so far as to go down the street and buy her a stuffed bird from Toys ‘R’ Us.” I grinned, but then frowned when my stomach started growling.

“Someone’s hungry.” Zack teased. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Alex laughed. “I swear, Envy, sometimes I think you’re five.” He dug out three dollars and told me to go get something for me to eat down at the vending machines we’d saw on the ground floor. I took the money and started to step into the elevator when Rian rushed in after me. I felt a little nervous around him. I didn’t really know him and so saying, I didn’t exactly trust him either. I put a good bit of space between me and him, as much as I could in the small area without him getting a little suspicious. That means it was only about two feet or so.

I chewed on my lip ring as we started plunging downwards. I should have known he would try and get me to talk and bond with him. I scuffed the toe of my shoe against the flooring.

“So…” the comment was simple and didn’t fill up the need for conversation. He tried a different approach. “This girl we’re seeing, she’s like you’re sister?”

I nodded stiffly. “Yeah.”

“My sister was in an accident, too. She’s okay, now, though. Just like Emma.”

“Was you’re sister in a coma, too?” I asked bitterly.

He shook his head. “No, she got off a lot luckier than you’re friend.”

I smirked. “Everyone does. We always get the short end of the deal.”

“You’re very negative about things.”

“You would be, too, if you’d been what I’d been through.”

“And I have no doubt about that.”

“Are you mocking me?” I turned on him, threateningly. The elevator doors binged open for the fourth time for me today and, but I was still to angry at Rian.

“No.” He honestly answered. “I’m serious.” He stepped out and held the door open for me. I exited quickly, trying (and failing) my best to avoid me. He grabbed my upper arm.

“Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t.” I answered, testingly. He frowned. “But that doesn’t mean I trust you either.”

He bounced his head to the side, as if thinking. “Yeah I guess so. I wouldn’t trust others too quickly either.”

I rolled my eyes at his agreements. He was too trusting already.

Biting my lip I stood in front of the vending machine carefully studying each object. The five piece pack of gum, I decided. It was the cheapest item in the machine at only fifty cents. I forced a dollar at the mouth of the machine and watched as it sucked it up, then spat back out George. I sighed, taking the dollar back and attempted to smooth it out before feeding it back through the machine. It accepted it this time and I punched in the code: E8.

My gum fell to the compartment below and I ignored Rian’s look at curiosity. I popped a piece into my mouth. Spearmint.

“…I thought you were hungry.”

“I was.” I answered casually.

“Then why’d you get a fifty cent piece of gum instead of a candy bar or something?”

I almost laughed at his questions, but instead settled on a shrug. He was so naïve and didn’t quite understand my actions as Zack, Alex, or Jack would have and I was a little grateful he’d been the one to tag along and not one of the others: they’d have made me use another dollar and get me some chips or something.

“It passed.” I lied. He didn’t need to know the guilt I felt when I used other people’s money, even if it was Alex’s and even if Alex had legally adopted me.

He gave me a look as I got a water from the drink machine. It cost a dollar. One-fifty left. I shoved the rest into my pocket as I walked back to the elevator. The ride back up was quieter than before…until the elevator opened and we started to get out.

“You’re really quiet.” He commented.

“I don’t talk much.” I muttered.

“LIES!” Jack screamed from across the room, leaning towards me across Zack’s chair, practically on top of him.

“I swear if you don’t get off of me in the next second-“ Zack didn’t finish his threat; he didn’t have too. Jack quickly resumed his position in his chair…this time with his feet pulled up in the seat.

“Don’t feel bad, Rian. He was the same way with us when we first met him. He was about as interesting as a snail.”

I glared at Jack. “You were about as dorky as a high school dweeb.” I laughed, then threw my hands to my mouth in faux shock. “Oh, wait. You still are.”

I grinned and sat down beside him, trying to let my actions tell him I was only kidding. I handed back Alex the rest of his money and took a sip of my water. He stared at the change confused for a moment before looking back up at me. “What’d you get to eat?”

“I already ate it,” I lied, stupidly. I’d forgotten Rian had traveled down to the ground floor with me.

“No you didn’t,” Rian contradicted. “You got a pack of gum.” He turned towards Alex as I leaned back in my seat, sighing and closing my eyes. I’d been caught once again in one of my own lies. “He told me he wasn’t hungry anymore.”

“Bull.” Alex said. He glared at me sternly and leaned forward in his seat, pointing his finger at me. “As soon as we get out of here, we’re taking you to IHOP and you’re eating twenty plus pancakes.” He looked completely serious and my eyes widened.

“I don’t eat that much when I do eat!” I whined. “I can barely eat two!” I was pleading with him. He wasn’t letting up.

“Then we’ll cut it down to ten.”

I rolled my eyes and fell back into the seat defeated. I had no doubt he was serious about the pancake thing.

It was then that the nurse came out, clip board in hand, announcing visitation had started. I jumped out of my seat and raced forward toward the room 404. I barely clipped a nurse running, causing her to drop a cup of water.

“Hey!” She shouted, annoyed and frustrated. I ignored her comment and stopped in front of the door.

“Emma,” I breathed, before opening the door, a small smile gracing my lips.