Weak, But Not Defeated

Maddie stared into his blue eyes. Her mind couldn’t form any thoughts and her mouth couldn’t speak any words.

Garrett waited about a minute before he spoke again, “Maddie, did you hear me?”

She sat up slowly and Garrett followed suit, “What?” she breathed.

“I think you should be my girlfriend. I want to be your boyfriend, Maddie,” Garrett said again.

Maddie looked away from him, looking for something to say. She ran a hand through her hair, “I’m so confused.”

Garrett smiled lightly and placed his hand on hers, “I like you.”

“I like you, too, Gar,” she said.

Garrett rolled his eyes, “Wake up, Madeline. I like you, I mean really like you.”

Maddie scrunched her face, “You like me, and you want to date me?”

Garrett nodded his head and Maddie stood from her bed and paced in front of him with her hands on her hips. He waited patiently for her to speak again.

Maddie’s mind had finally registered everything the boy in front of her was telling her, and now it was working a mile a minute. There were so many questions; so many feelings unaddressed.

“Can I explain myself?” Garrett asked.

Maddie sighed, relieved, “Please do.” She sat next to him on the bed once more.

“I know that we weren’t supposed to be those best friends that developed feelings, but it’s happened, for me, at least. I’ve had this massive crush on you since you got home, and I know deep down you think this is a good idea,” he spat out quickly.

Maddie let out a nervous laugh, “I don’t even know what I feel, Garrett. There’s no way you can know.”

“But there is, Maddie. I know everything about you. I know you better than you know yourself. Let me be the one who completes that part of you that’s been missing since John and Kennedy completely screwed you over,” Garrett said sweetly.

“Garrett,” Maddie sighed, burying her head in her hands, “Up until about three days ago I was hopelessly in love with one of your best friends.”

“You know you can’t love him, Madds. He has a girlfriend, you have to move on!” he said.

“You’re very confident that I like you, aren’t you?” she asked.

He smiled, “Of course I am. Who is the one that’s proven to always be there for you, Maddie? Not Kennedy and definitely not John.”

Maddie looked at him, “But you have always been there, haven’t you? Waiting for me to figure it out.”

Garrett nodded, “I’m better for you, Maddie, in every single way.”

Maddie looked to the collage of pictures on her wall, her eyes seeming to fall on every picture of her and John. How could this ever work? She shook her head, amazed she was actually convincing herself she might be able to date Garrett.

“We don’t have to tell the guys right away,” Garrett said.

“You have an answer for everything, don’t you?” Maddie asked, still looking at the pictures.

“I really, really, like you Maddie. I want this,” he said.

“I’m so caught off guard,” she told him honestly.

“Everyone who sees us together already think we’re dating, Maddie. It’d be so easy for us,” Garrett said.

Maddie laughed, “I guess that’s true.”

“And I know you’re attracted to me,” he smiled.

She blushed, “Oh yeah, how do you know that?”

“You talk in your sleep, silly,” he patted her head.

Maddie’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape, “Well, that’s embarrassing.”

“I’m definitely attracted to you, too, so it wouldn’t be weird or uncomfortable,” Garrett said.

“What wouldn’t be uncomfortable?” she asked.

Garrett laughed at her naivety, “Like when we kiss.”

Maddie bit her lip and looked down, the idea of kissing Garrett becoming more and more appealing.

“The only thing that would be different is that we would be a little bit more physical,” he said.

Maddie’s head shot up at him, “So that’s why you want to be my boyfriend? So we can be physical?”

Garrett placed a hand on her thigh, “You don’t let me finish. I want you to be my girlfriend so I can tell everyone the girl I’ve had a crush on since I was eleven years old belongs to me. I want to let everyone know that I have claims to the most beautiful, charming, funny, and smartest girl I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

Maddie’s heart began to race as Garrett’s touch sent goose-bumps along her skin, “I have a lot of baggage, Garrett.”

“It’s a good thing I’m stronger than you then, because I can carry everything that you can’t,” he said with no hesitation.

Maddie looked down, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing right now?”

“I’m one hundred percent positive,” Garrett said, lifting her chin with his fingertips. She met his eyes and he spoke again, “Take a while to decide, call me later?”

She nodded, her chin still cupped in Garrett’s hand, he smiled and leaned in close to her, placing a kiss on her cheek; a kiss that suddenly meant so much more.

Garrett exited her room and she lay back on her bed and took a deep breath. Her thoughts had slowed and she wasn’t debating with herself any longer. She didn’t need time to decide.

She ran to her window and unlatched it. She pushed it up and stuck her head out, “Garrett!” she called to the boy in the driveway currently climbing into his car.

He looked up at her, squinting his eyes, “Yeah?”

“I think…” she struggled to say the rest.

He waited patiently but finally sighed and shut the car door. He walked closer to her window, “Just say it, Maddie. I can handle it,” he said, disappointment etched on his features as he stared at the ground.

She smiled, “I think I should be your girlfriend too.” His head shot up at the brunette, completely shocked. He didn’t say a word as she smiled at him. “Don’t leave me hanging, Gar. Say something.”

He smiled and darted for the front door. He bounded up the stairs and opened her bedroom door. Garrett engulfed Maddie in a hug, picking her off the ground and spinning her around. “I promise you won’t regret this,” he said.

He set Maddie down and her grin never waivered, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“I can,” he smiled. “So what shall we do as our first day of boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“I think Matt is having a party tonight, want to go?” she asked.

“Do I get to show you off?” he smiled.

She bit her lip and looked down, “We’ll talk about that later,” she put her hands on his shoulders, “But you should go home so I can shower and look cute!”

“You can’t get any cuter, Madds! But whatever, I’ll pick you up around nine then?”

Maddie nodded her head and hugged him again. He kissed her cheek before he left the room. Maddie put her hand to her cheek and smiled.

*
Maddie studied her appearance in the mirror. Her brown hair was loosely curled and her make-up lightly done. She looked at the clock, it was exactly nine o’clock. A second later the doorbell rang and Maddie smiled. Her boyfriend was here.

She ran down the stairs and took a breath before opening the door. Garrett was dressed in dark blue skinny jeans and a striped tee. He wore a leather jacket and his hair was tousled in different directions. He adorned his adorable grin and Maddie couldn’t help but smile at him.

“You could’ve just come in,” she laughed.

“That’s not what boyfriends do, Maddie! You ready?” he asked.

She nodded and grabbed her purse off the counter. She linked her arms with Garrett’s as he led her to his car. He opened the door like a gentlemen before running to the driver’s side.

Before he started the car he turned to her, “You look great, by the way,” he said.

“Thanks, boo. So do you,” she replied.

He put the key in the ignition and again turned to her, a look on his face that Maddie couldn’t quite place, “Is it weird that I’m nervous?” he asked.

Maddie smiled, “I am too! I don’t even know why.”

“Me either! It’s like, we already acted like a couple, so this shouldn’t be that hard, but I’m still freaking out!” Garrett said.

Maddie looked out the front window, “Are you having doubts?” she asked quietly.

Garrett snorted a loud laugh, “Are you kidding me? Oh, Madeline, so naïve. I could never doubt the way I feel about you.”

Maddie smiled, “Good.”

Garrett started the car and began driving to Matt’s house. The ride was relatively short, but there was just enough time for Garrett to reach over and hold Maddie’s hand. He rubbed small circles on the top of her hand absentmindedly while he watched the road.

Maddie hoped he didn’t notice the goose bumps she got. She laughed at the thought that everything really had finally come full circle. Garrett had been the one to never leave Maddie’s side when they were kids, all the way to now. It was finally their time. Even though she knew deep down she had feelings for John, they would have to go unreciprocated. John was over her, and now she could be over him.

“So, how do we tell the guys?” Garrett asked as he pulled to a stop at the end of a line of cars outside Matt’s house.

“I was thinking… we don’t?” Maddie suggested.

Garrett frowned, “So I can’t show off my wonderful girlfriend?”

Maddie smiled sweetly, “Secrets are fun too.”

“How long do I have to keep this secret?”

Maddie shrugged, “Until John and I are okay again.”

“So never?” he said.

Maddie sighed, “Soon. I promise.”

Garrett’s frown broke and he smiled at her, “You know, John probably won’t be at this party.”

Maddie laughed as she pointed to the couple walking in front of the car; John and Courtney. “He’s dating one of my classmates. Where she is, he is,” Maddie rolled her eyes.

Garrett leaned over and kissed Maddie’s cheek, “Shall we?”

“We shall,” she smiled as she climbed out of his car.

The two caught up with John and Courtney, much to Maddie’s protest. Before they entered the house John pulled her aside.

“Can I talk to you?” he whispered while he held her arm.

She nervously looked at Garrett. He faked a reassuring smile and she turned back to John, “What? You’re not scared of me beating you up? Because you know, according to your girlfriend all 115 pounds of me is really threatening.”

John unexpectedly smiled, “I wanted to apologize. I’m not going to come in between you and Courtney anymore.”

“Awesome, so now you’ll just willingly let her take you away from your friends. Good to know,” Maddie shook her head.

“I won’t let her come in between us, either,” John said quietly.

Maddie’s heart started beating faster and she condemned it for it’s all too mundane reflex, “She’s already there, John.”

“I’m trying to be your friend here, Madds. If you’re willing to drop all this ‘I love you’ stuff, it can work.”

Maddie suppressed her laugh, along with the urge to scream right in his face that she was dating Garrett, “Oh, don’t worry John, I’m done.”

He smiled, and it was so fake that it almost made Maddie sad. “Good. Let’s have fun tonight then, yeah?”

Maddie turned to enter Matt’s house, “I know I will.”

The entire night Maddie and Garrett spent in Matt’s living room. About fifty kids showed up, making the small house crowded. The couple shared a chair made for one person. Maddie had her legs draped over Garrett as they made fun of their intoxicated class mates.

“Courtney is a really sloppy drunk,” Garrett commented as they watched John try to keep her standing.

Maddie laughed, “You’re not so elegant yourself.”

“Ouch, that’s hurts, Madeline,” Garrett pouted.

She put an arm around his shoulder, “Aw, don’t be sad.”

“There is one thing that could cheer me up,” Garrett smiled as he rested his hand on the small of her back.

“I wonder what that is,” Maddie laughed, “Too bad you’ll never know.”

“You’re such a perve! I was talking a simple kiss,” Garrett said.

Maddie’s cheek flushed, “Oh.”

Garrett laughed as he slowly caressed the bare skin between the waist line of her pants and the hem of her shirt. Maddie got shivers and involuntarily squirmed away as she giggled.

“Not here,” she said quietly as she looked around to make sure no one was watching. She stood up and held out her hand. Garrett smiled as he held her hand and led her to an empty bedroom.

They both sat on the bed and looked at each other, “I’m nervous again,” Garrett admitted.

“Me too,” Maddie said as she played with the fabric on the comforter.

“This isn’t exactly how romantic I’d hoped… this would be,” Garrett said.

Maddie looked up at him and shrugged, “We can wait, if you want to…”

Garrett shook his head, “I don’t want to.”

Maddie smiled, “Neither do I.”

Garrett smiled sweetly and slowly leaned closer to Maddie. He swore he could hear the butterflies batting around in his stomach, and prayed Maddie couldn’t hear them, too.

When Garrett was only a few inches from her lips she closed the distance, realizing his nervousness. His lips were soft and so unfamiliar. He kissed her passionately but not rough. It was the sweetest kiss Maddie had ever had, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Before the kiss could go anything past sweet there was a knock at the door. The two separated so fast you wouldn’t even have known they were kissing. Garrett was on his feet; scratching his head as Kennedy opened the door slowly and poked his head in.

“Oh, hey, guys,” he said, “Am I interrupting?”

“Oh, we were just talking,” Maddie said casually.

“Sorry, I’ll leave you guys alone.” Kennedy smiled weakly.

“Thanks, Kenny,” Garrett said, pushing against the door to shut it.

Kennedy looked at Maddie strangely before he disappeared behind the closed door. Garrett and Maddie stared at each other once more before erupting into laughter.

“Our first night together and we almost get caught,” Maddie laughed.

Garrett sat next to her on the bed again, “Do you want to risk it some more?” he grinned.

Maddie laughed as she attached her lips to Garrett’s once more, and she couldn’t deny that as she kissed Garrett, he was the only person on her mind.