Weak, But Not Defeated

“John, I’m going to have to punch you if you don’t stop chewing with your mouth open.”

John opened his mouth wide, letting Maddie see every bit of the pizza he was eating. She pretended to gag and he laughed. “What time is it? The Godfather marathon begins at 10 o’clock.”

Maddie looked at her cell phone, taking in a long breath. “It’s 9:32,” she said quietly.

The two stayed quiet the entire minute, just thinking of the eeriness of the time. One year ago at this exact time Carly died. When the clock finally changed Maddie looked at John, “Where were you when you found out?”

“Um,” John scratched the back of his head, “I was at Jared’s house, we were writing. Kenny and Carly were supposed to come over, but…”

Maddie nodded her head, “I was fast asleep when you called me.”

“Yeah, I remember,” he laughed, “I called you eight times before you answered.”

“Do you think Emma will be okay as she gets older?” Maddie asked.

John smiled, “Of course she will. We’re Aunt Maddie and Uncle John, she’s totally set.”

Maddie laughed, “True that.”

“Madds, when you were in England did you have a boyfriend?” John asked after a few minutes of silence.

“I did, his name was James,” Maddie said, smiling to herself, picturing the boy. He had light blond hair and bright blue eyes with a flawless accent, “He was so good looking.”

“Why’d you break up?” John asked.

“Because he lives in a different country,” Maddie said, “He is a good guy though; he really helped me out after Carly died.”

“I remember you telling me about him. Do you still talk?” he asked.

“We’re pen pals!” Maddie smiled.

John laughed momentarily before becoming serious, “You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

Maddie drew invisible shapes on the couch, avoiding John’s eyes, “I lost my virginity to Kennedy, and you know that.”

“I just wanted to hear if you’d say it,” John told her.

“Can we not talk about it?” Maddie asked politely.

“Are you not over it?” he pressed.

“That’s none of your business.”

“We’re best friends, Madeline,” John reminded her.

Maddie sighed, “Honestly, John, it’s probably the thing pushed back to the farthest part of my mind.”

“You think it’ll just go away if it stays there long enough?”

She shrugged, “I’ll let you know.”

John sighed, placing a pillow in Maddie’s lap and resting his head on it. Her phone rang from next to her. She rolled her eyes, rubbing a hand over her face. John picked up her phone and read the Caller I.D., seeing it was Garrett that had been calling her nonstop for the last hour.

“Should I answer it?” John asked.

Maddie snatched the phone from him, “Definitely not. Should I?” she asked.

John pursed his lips. He sat up, “Keep it short. I’m going to go take a quick shower.”

Maddie nodded her head as John walked away. She hesitantly found Garrett’s name in her phonebook, pressing the call button.

“Hi,” he answered calmly.

“Hey,” Maddie said shortly. The line was quiet for half of a minute before Maddie spoke again, “Did you call?”

“Do you want to come over? I really want to talk to you,” he said.

“I don’t think so, Garrett. I’m kind of busy,” she replied.

“What are you doing?” he asked, not pressing, just curious.

Maddie decided she wouldn’t lie. She didn’t feel guilty spending time with John. “I’m with John. We’re having a best friend night.”

“Oh, so you’re best friends again, for tonight anyways?” Garrett asked sharply.

“It’s not like I’m kissing him, Garrett,” she replied.

Garrett ignored her comment, “Well when will you be able to talk?”

“I don’t know, maybe tomorrow,” she said, pretending to be indifferent.

“Great, I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said before hanging up.

Maddie lay down on John’s couch, stretching out her arms. She didn’t feel guilty that she was treating Garrett badly, one reason was the obvious, he had cheated on her. The second reason was that she was only putting off the inevitable; she would take Garrett back, she had known it the second he told her the truth.

Maddie’s eyelids began to droop as she realized just how exhausted she was. It was an emotionally draining day, and she was ready for it to be over.

She awoke to John lightly shaking her shoulder. Maddie wiped the sleep from her eyes, observing that he was wearing sweat pants and no shirt.

“Maddie, you fell asleep,” he said, sitting next to her.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“It’s midnight,” he replied.

“Why’d you let me sleep so long!? I ruined best friend day!” she pouted.

“I didn’t know what to do with you! You were doing that weird heavy breathing thing so I knew you were completely out. I even cleaned, I was so bored.”

“Well we already missed half of the first Godfather. What do we do now?” she asked.

“The second one begins in a half hour, if you wanted to stay,” he shrugged.

Maddie thought for a moment, “You have some clothes I could borrow?”

John smiled as he reached behind the side of the couch, picking up a small stack of neatly folded clothes he had already picked out for her.
Maddie entered her empty house at two p.m. the next day. Her parents were out of town again, probably trying to avoid yesterday’s anniversary.

She took a shower, washing the scent of John’s apartment off of her skin. They had stayed up until dawn talking, just like old times when they actually were best friends.

When she had dried her hair and put on only some mascara, her phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Hey! Do you want to come over for some lunch? I need to talk to you,” he said.

“Well, sure. I’m on my way.”

Maddie walked into his nearby house without knocking. She entered his kitchen, being greeted by Kennedy Brock’s warming smile.

“Hey,” she greeted as he placed her plate in front of her. She saw the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and smiled, “Yummy.”

“Maddie, I need to say something,” he said cautiously. She stayed silent and he continued, “I need to apologize for ever doubting yours and Garrett’s relationship.”

Maddie wiped her face with a napkin, “You talked to him, didn’t you?”

“By him do you mean Garrett or John?” he asked, barely giving her time to speak, “Well actually I spoke to both of them.”

Maddie laughed, “What is this about, Kenny?”

“Well, let me explain. First, Garrett called me. He was really upset so I went over to his house. He told me what happened and how you wouldn’t take his calls. He also said you were at John’s,” Kennedy raised his eyebrows.

“Best friend night,” she shrugged.

He smiled, “I’ll get to that in a second. So then I went to John’s this afternoon. He had this annoying smile on his face the entire time I was there, it was extremely irritating.”

“Maybe he was just happy to see his band mate,” Maddie teased.

“I would consider that if the girl he loves didn’t just spend the night at his place,” Kennedy said.

Maddie looked at the marble counter top, “John doesn’t love me.”

He rolled his eyes, “I don’t even want to get into that. Anyways, John told me that you’re going to stay with Garrett.”

“Are you going to yell at me for that, too?”

“No, quite the opposite, actually, I want to tell you how much I fully support it,” Kennedy said.

“Really?” Maddie met his eyes.

“Well, yeah, Madds, you’ve been so happy with Garrett. Like, back to who you were before I completely ruined your life for that time period,” he said sadly.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” she said, “You didn’t ruin my life.”

He smiled, “Thanks for that, but I know you’re lying. Anyways, like I said, when you’re with Garrett, things are perfect. Aside from a few screaming matches with John, you can’t tell me your life hasn’t been great.”

Maddie blushed as she grinned, “I suppose you’re right.”

“I know,” he said, walking to the other side of the counter. He took Maddie’s hand and pulled her to the nursery, “That’s why I knew it was the perfect time for this,” he said as they entered.

Maddie saw John standing over Emma’s crib. He smiled when he turned to face his friends.

“John, Maddie, I have a question for you,” he said.

John laughed, “You’re so tense, Kenny. Spit it out.”

He took a deep breath, “Do you two want to be Emma’s godparents? I know it might not be a big deal to you, but it’d be really important to us.”

John and Maddie glanced at each other, no hint of emotion on their faces, increasing Kennedy’s anxiety. As they turned their eyes back to Kennedy they simultaneously ran to him, pulling him into a tight group hug.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then?” Kennedy laughed.

“Absolutely!” John and Maddie said in unison.

“Good!” he said as he pushed them away, “Now, Maddie, you need to go talk to Garrett. He’s blowing up all of our phones with his weepy messages.”

Maddie looked at John, not being able to read his emotions that were usually etched plainly on his features. She took a breath and smiled, “Wish me luck.”