Sexy? Why yes I am.

This morning when I got up to get ready for school; I couldn’t stop feeling bad for what I did to Nate. I left Nate in a wide open field, my favorite place to go of all places. I didn’t think I’d end up doing that to someone. I was his only transportation back, and instead of just driving him home, I left him standing there on that field far from home. I hope he didn’t spend the night there alone. I hope he called someone, I really do. Then again, sometimes you can’t get signal in that area.

It’s not like I had an intention of leaving him there after he told me about his past. It’s just, when he told me what he did to Ava, I couldn’t help but to think of my past. If he wasn’t moving, he would’ve simply just left her, but since she was having his kid, he had a chance to get back at her. I completely understand why he would do something like that. It’s just, he knows she’s messed up, why leave your child with someone like that? I guess that’s a question even I could answer a little. My own Father left my Mother when she got pregnant with me; he left her because she was a mess while they were dating. Not as bad as Ava was to Nate, but still bad.

I just wished he would’ve taken me with him instead of leaving me with her. He didn’t come back till I was fifteen. That was when my Mother decided she’d get her act together. They ended up getting married again, but that’s beside the point I’m making about Nate. He probably thinks I’m mad at him for everything. I’m not even really mad at him, I was just upset. I thought about my Dad leaving me with a fucked up woman. I used to look out the window every night when I was young, cursing my Father for leaving me to be taken care of by such a woman. I know how his kid would feel when it grew up. I’d understand completely.

I brushed my styled blonde hair and put mascara on my long eye lashes. I replaced my silver snake bites with black ones, and I changed my Helix to black and then I finished up with my makeup. I woke up rather early to get ready…

I got in my car, and drove to school. When I got out I went straight to where Nate’s locker was and leaned against it.

Right when I looked up I saw Nate’s blue eyes lock with my silver gray ones.

I looked down and then looked up again once he was right in front of me.

“Did you get my text?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

“Yes.” I said.

“Good…” he said and looked down.

I put my hand on his cheek, his eyes flickered up and looked into mine once more.

“I’m sorry for leaving you like that.” I said and then glanced down once before looking up, my mouth formed the word I was going to say, but before I could even say it, I was pushed tightly against his body and his lips were on mine; it was a deep kiss, which soon turned rather passionate. I wrapped my arms around his neck, biting his lip.

I love him, I really do. He’s incredible. He might have a fucked up past, but we all do. He might not be perfect, but who he is as a man, still just steals my heart. I never expected to fall for a guy who played girls in the past.

“Does this mean you aren’t mad at me anymore?” asked Nate smirking at me as he kissed down my jaw line.

I giggled and said, “I was never mad at you baby.”

He blinked confused, “Then why were you that upset?” he asked.

“Remember what I told you about my Father?” I said.

His eyes lowered slightly, feeling bad, no words came out of his mouth, and he simply pulled me into a tight hug.

I’ve told Nate a lot about my past, I don’t know if that’s exactly a good thing, but it’ll all be okay.

When Nate was hugging me, I opened my eyes to see a girl grinning at me as she was walking by. She had black hair with pink streaks in it. She was close enough to where I could tell her eyes were light green; she also had silver snake bites on. She had a look in her eyes like she already knew who I was. She turned her head around to look straight, ignoring my existence right after that. She gave off that confident bitchy aura.

“The bell is going to ring soon, babe.” I said.

He smiled and caressed my lips and then, kissed my lips, “Little miss innocent doesn’t want to be late to class?” he said smirking.

“Little miss innocent?” I repeated.

“You heard me.” He said, with that smirk still pasted on his damn gorgeous face.

“Yeah, I’m totally innocent, that’s why we never have sex.” I said in the most sarcastic tone I could do.

We have a lot of sex, I’ve probably had more sex with Nate then I have with any other guy, but heck, I’m not complaining. He’s incredible at it, it’s actually good he always wants to have sex with me; I don’t have to do a lot of the work that way.

Nate walked me to my class, it wasn’t till the bell actually rang that I walked in. I didn’t think we were kissing for that long at all, but I guess when I’m kissing Nate, I lose track of time, actually, whenever I’m with Nate I lose track of time. I’m rather surprised Nate never gets in trouble for being so late to his classes…

I walked in class and sat down at my seat. I was starting to think about what gender Nate’s child could be. I mean, I know he has no idea and stuff, but I can’t help but to think about it. What type of a Father would Nate be? If Nate had stayed with Ava, he would’ve known, but then again I would have never met him. I guess things really did work out, even though I really am curious about what gender the child is that he had with Ava, and what it would have been like.

I was brought out of my deep thought on it with my teacher saying, “Class, we have a new student.”

I looked up to see that girl I saw walking by grinning at me as I hugged Nate. Her light green eyes met my silver gray ones. She’s definitely an attractive girl, that’s for sure.

“Class, this is – “Nadia, I’m Nadia.” She said cutting off the teacher. She had that confident look on her face; she didn’t seem uncomfortable, or shy at all.

“Well, yes, this is Nadia. Nadia, why don’t you tell the class a little about yourself before you sit next to James.”

“Nah, there’s nothing special really. I moved here because it seemed like it’d be nice to have some change in my life. Who the hell is James, anyways?” she asked.

The teacher blinked a few times, “Please don’t cuss in my class.” She said.

Nadia rolled her eyes.

“Who’s James?” She repeated completely ignoring the teacher.

He raised his hand; James unfortunately was the kid behind me that she was now going to sit next to. I don’t know why but I already didn’t like her.

When she walked pass me, a grin slid to her face, and then went away once she sat down behind me.

During the course of the class, I felt like she was staring into my neck. Perhaps I’m just paranoid, or hugely intimidated by her, I don’t know. It’s unlike for me to be intimidated by some girl, I don’t know, I just get a bad vibe with this girl around.
When lunch time came around, I remembered I forgot a book in my first class, so I walked back. She was sitting in her seat with my book in her hand and a smile on her face.

“Forget something?” she said with a teasing look in her eyes.

I walked over to her to grab the book, but then she said, “Tell me your name first.” With a smile pasted on her face.

“Vonia.” I said. She handed me the book.

“Thank you.” I said, getting ready to turn.

“Do you know a guy named Nate?” She asked before I could turn fully to leave. I turned back around and looked at her, “Yes, he’s my boyfriend.” I said.

“Shit. You were WAY to fucking easy to find.” She said laughing.

I didn’t say anything, I just stood there confused.

“You’re the girl Nate says he’s in love with, I call bullshit. I bet you’re playing him like violin since you’ve seen him do it to others, huh? That’s probably why. I bet you feel bad for all those pathetic women, and figured you’d do what Nate does to other girls.” She said.

“Who the fuck are you?” I said slamming my book down on the table.

“I’m the fuck buddy bitch.” She said standing up.

She got right up in my face, but then she stopped and went back to sit down. It looked like she was ready to start a fight with me but then realized she wanted to speak to me about something.

“You forgot to put that line in past tense, dear.” I said adding the dear at the end to let her know she isn’t having her way with me.

“I didn’t stay back to fight with you.” said Nadia.

“Why did you stay back?” I asked.

“I just want you to let you know what you’re getting into with Nate.” said Nadia.

“What I’m getting into?” I said.

“Yeah, what you’re getting into. I know you like Nate a lot, but you really don’t know the type of guy he is.” said Nadia.

“I do know him.” I said.

“Correction, you think you know him. Do you know anything about his past?” said Nadia.

“I do.” I said.

“I bet he didn’t tell you much. Of course he wouldn’t tell you much anyways, he never does like to talk about the bad shit he’s done.” said Nadia.

“He’s told me about his past actually, and what he said is none of your damn business.” I said.

Nadia rolled her eyes and set her feet on the desk, “I don’t care to know what Nate said. Did he tell you about Ava?” asked Nadia.

“I do know about her.” I said.

Nadia blinked surprised, “Did he tell you about the little child he left behind just to get revenge on bitch that fucked him over, and caused him to change for life?” asked Nadia.

I nodded, “I told you, he told me about his past. Nate not telling me about shit isn’t a concern at all.” I said.

She sat there quietly for a minute. It was as if reality was finally starting to hit her. It was as if reality was finally making its way into the crevices she had been trying to seal up all this time.

“He knew I was coming, that’s why he told you all this. You know that right? So he told you about Ava, and the thing he did. Did he give you the details? Like how he was almost sixteen when she got pregnant? That means it is three years old, and it’s not like I want to call the child a, “it” I just don’t know what else to call a kid who’s sex I’m unaware of. Did he also tell you about how much of a player he is? Did he ever tell you how much he parties?” said Nadia questioning me.

“It seems like what he told me matters after all, doesn’t it?” I said.

Nadia simply rolled her eyes.

“I know he used to be a player, and I’m aware that he parties. He’s not a player anymore though Nadia, he’s done.” I said. I didn’t know the details about the age he was when Ava got pregnant, or the fact that the child is three right now. I think that’s my fault though, I never did ask about that part.

She giggled.

I blinked in confusion.

“You think men change just like that?” she asked.

“I know they don’t, but Nate really has changed, maybe not majorly, but his habits are definitely changed.” I said.

“Old habits come back you know. If you know all this, you shouldn’t be with him. Any intelligent girl would know the right thing to do is walk away. Yet you’re staying with him because why? Let me guess, you’re in love with him, aren’t you? Let me ask you this, do you know Nate never wants to get married, and he definitely doesn’t want kids. Did you ever find out that information about him?” asked Nadia leaning forward now, and placing her feet back onto the ground.

I folded my arms and looked straight back into her eyes, “That’s none of your business.”

She grinned at me, as if saying, “I got you bitch.”

“Did you ever stop to ask yourself, if Nate would leave you if you got pregnant? Nate isn’t the Daddy type; chances of him leaving you are sky high sweetie. I know him better then you do, way better. You know how I managed to stick in his life for so long? I became his fuck buddy, because I was smart enough to realize he wasn’t going to keep a simple little girlfriend around.” said Nadia.

“You know, what I don’t understand, is if you were just a stupid little fuck buddy, why are you trying so hard to get me to break up with him?” I asked.

“I think you’re a little too good to be dating Nate. I might’ve been just his fuck buddy, but look how far that has really gotten me, a lot farther than any other girl. I’m a better choice for Nate, because we are very much alike.” said Nadia.

I laughed, “I see how it is now. You’ve been in love with Nate ever since the day you met him. You somehow found out the type of guy he is, and you wanted to stay in his life, so you became his fuck buddy. Now that he’s fallen for someone, you actually want to have him for yourself. No, you yearn for him to love you the way you love him, the way he loves me, you yearn for that to be you.” I said.

Nadia stood up and looked at me right in my eyes.

“You are the stupidest girl I’ve ever met since I got here. You are far more stupid then all the other girls who fell for Nate, and knew he didn’t love them back. I might be a bitch, and I might say crap to change your mind, but you know what? The least you can do is let reality fucking hit you. Nate has a lot of skeletons in his closet, by skeletons, I mean girls. Old habits don’t die Vonia, they come back, and they never fully die. Nate’s old habits will never die, because I won’t ever leave.” said Nadia; he light green eyes had determination in them, which slowly filled with hatred.

I took a deep breath and then I let it out in a sigh and began to speak, “Ever heard of practicing what you preach? If I’m such a stupid girl, you are too; you love the exact same man. The exact same, ‘horrible’ man you’ve said all this shit about. You don’t have that little in common with me when it comes to this. How about instead of interfering with Nate’s decide for change, and move the fuck on with your life? You don’t need Nate; I’m guessing you only want him because he’s something you can’t have anymore. There are a lot of people in the world that make stupid decisions, and in this case, what you think is stupid, I find worthy to fight for, and it seems like you do too.” I said.

“You’ll definitely regret this.” said Nadia.

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“Why? Well because you’ve declared war on me. I never loose, NEVER. I know him better than you do way better.” said Nadia.

“You’re the girl who knows a little more about him then I do, and I’m the one who has his heart. I can’t wait to see who wins.” I said sarcastically.

She grinned, “I’m hardly worried.” She said, speaking with such confidence in her voice.

“I’d like to know what’s getting you so confident about this.” I said.

Nadia came up real close to my face, to the point where our snake bites were almost touching.

When she spoke I could feel her breathe against my lips, “You will break. Between handling me, and handling him, you will break, and I won’t help you, I’ll just keep ripping you to pieces until you finally scream that you can’t take it. Even then I won’t stop; you’ll be regretting it all so much, that leaving Nate will feel like the best decision you have ever made in your entire fucking life. I’ll make your life a living hell. It won’t be difficult to do either, it’ll be so easy. When I want someone Vonia, I’ll do anything to get it. Remember that.” said Nadia and then she glared into my eyes one last time before shoving me out of the way and walking out of the class.

I didn’t say anything back fast enough, or rather, I didn’t need to. I hadn’t noticed it till now, but I had bumps all over my arms. It’s like I could feel the hate in her eyes crawling up on my body, coming right at my neck to choke me.

She’s deadly, but I can be rather deadly myself. I’m not giving up Nate. It’s taken me this long to fall for someone, I’m not going to give that up when I know he feels the same way for me.

Whatever Nadia has in store for me, I think I’m just about ready to take, and to fire back.

I walked out of the class holding the book firmly in my hand as I walked straight to the spot where Nate and I sit to eat lunch.

He’s mine.

He asked me out.

Not her.

I love him.

I will fight.

….how bad could this possibly end up anyways….?