Time to Change

The easiest way to say it is that Eli actually wasn't looking forward to the concert that night. Dinner on Friday with all of the guys (and Lauren) was awkward, to say the least. Eli wasn't exactly a pro at hiding her emotions (unlike Alex) so they all knew something was wrong. Of course, no one said anything, because that would've made it even more awkward.

When it was time for sound check, the guys left the room and Lauren looked over at Eli, hands on her hips.

“What happened with you and Alex?” she asked.

Eli looked up, her eyes wide. “Nothing?”

“Why do you say it like it's a question? Do you not remember? Did he lace your drink at lunch with roofies?” Lauren asked.

Eli laughed lightly. “No, there were no roofies,” she told her. “I promise.”

“Then what happened?”

Eli sighed. “Lauren...”

“No, we're not idiots,” Lauren told her. “We can tell when you two aren't getting along. You and Alex haven't said two words to each other if you could avoid it. And you've avoided it. You avoided it all during dinner last night, you didn't even hug him goodbye, and you two are usually inseparable.”

“It's complicated,” Eli said.

“Then un-complicate it and tell me what's wrong.”

Eli shook her head before walking over to the couch and sitting down. “You know, since high school, I've only dated three guys. Two that Alex drove away when he was visiting—and maybe he should've, they weren't nice people—and now James.”

“Okay,” Lauren said, nodding slowly, and sitting down next to her best friend.

“I've never tried to break up him and Lisa, no matter how much I hate her and she hates me. I've always wanted him to be happy. But the minute I find someone, he drives them away,” Eli said. “And with the first two, I didn't mind. But I really feel like James is a good person, you know?”

“Well, you obviously have some reason to believe that,” she told her.

“Alex hates him.”

Lauren nodded. “Are you afraid that Alex is right? He was right about the first two.”

“I don't know. I just... I don't know,” Eli said. “Alex and I have always been close. And I don't want to lose that. But these past few weeks have been so odd. Getting that phone call from Lisa and then Alex yesterday...”

“What did he do yesterday?”

Eli shook her head. “Forget I said anything. I just want to...forget all about it.”

“Forget about what?”

Eli shrugged.

Lauren sighed. “Eli, you never tell me anything anymore. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt me.”

“Lauren...”

“No, I understand. You and Alex have been close for years. But sometimes I wonder if you still trust me when I have to pull all this information from you. It's like you don't want to tell me and I'm making you and I don't want to make you. I want you to want to tell me,” Lauren explained.

“I do want to tell you, Lauren, it's just...awkward.”

“Why?”

“Because you tour with Alex. You see him every day.”

“I would never tell him.”

“I know you wouldn't, trust me,” Eli said. “I don't want it to sound like that.”

Lauren looked down at her hands. “I just want you to be happy, Eli.”

“Alex kissed me yesterday,” she blurted out.

Lauren's jaw dropped.

“Okay, pick that up,” Eli said, reaching out for Lauren's jaw and closing her mouth.

“He kissed you?!”

“Yes.”

“Did you kiss him back?”

Eli sighed, looking down. “Yes.”

“That's good!”

Eli looked up at her, confused. “How is that good? I have a boyfriend!”

“You're in love with Alex.”

“No. No, I never said that. I told you that he's a wonderful person.”

“You think he's sexy.”

Eli blushed. “Well, maybe.”

“You love him.”

She sighed again. “I don't know.”

“So. Break up with James and come on tour with us,” Lauren suggested.

“I can't do that.”

Lauren nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“I really like James. And Alex is with Lisa—“

“They broke up,” Lauren interrupted.

Eli paused. “They did?”

“Yeah. Last week. He went off on her when he found out she called and blamed you for their relationship troubles,” Lauren said, shaking her head. “I've never seen him so mad. He was screaming at her and said he was done with all her bull shit.”

“He never told me,” Eli said quietly. “But even so—I don't want to be some sort of rebound just because I'm here.”

“You'd never be Alex's rebound, Eli,” Lauren told her.

Eli shrugged. “I just don't know what to do. I just feel like...” she sighed. “I feel like Alex and I would never work out if we were to...date. You know?”

Lauren shook her head. “No, I don't know. You guys are, like, perfect for each other.”

“No, we're not,” Eli denied.

“Do you want to be with him?”

“I don't know,” she answered automatically. “I really don't know.”

+

The high that Alex normally felt after he got done playing a show wasn't as strong as normal. The rest of the guys were joking and laughing, each complimenting one another on a great, sold out show. Not Alex. He was standing at the side of the room, running a towel through his hair, keeping to himself. He changed shirts, tossing the sweat-soaked one to the side, and looked at Eli.

Eli could tell she was being stared at and looked up, meeting Alex's eyes. She wanted to look away, but didn't. Alex nodded towards the door before walking out, hoping she would follow. And she did, of course she did. He walked until the hallway ended and he exited the back door, holding it open for Eli. He shut the door silently, looking in every direction to make sure no fans were hiding behind the building.

“I'm surprised you followed me,” Alex said quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Eli shrugged. “Why didn't you tell me you and Lisa broke up?”

Alex didn't say anything for a minute, gathering his words. “I didn't want that topic to consume the weekend.”

“It wouldn't have.”

“I just... I didn't want to think about it, talk about it. I just wanted it to be over,” Alex said. “I've been putting up with her shit for four years and I'm just done.”

“I'm sorry you guys broke up.”

“Don't be.”

“I'm sure she blamed me for it.”

Alex smiled softly. “A little. But I defended you this time, like I should've from the start. I'm sorry it was a little late.”

Eli shrugged. “It's the thought that counts.”

Alex sucked in a deep breath. “I'm...sorry I kissed you.”

Eli bit her lip. She didn't know if she wanted an apology in the first place. She'd be lying if she said she didn't...enjoy the kiss; but she'd be lying if she said she was just going to go running into his arms. “It's...okay.”

“Is it?” he asked, taking a step closer to her.

“I just...don't know what you expect right now, Alex,” Eli said.

“I want you to come on tour with us. Leave this town behind, leave college behind, and come with us. Come with me,” Alex said. “I miss you every day, Eli. I want you to come with us.”

“I can't do that Alex,” she told him quietly.

Alex sighed, closing the gap between them. He rested his forehead against hers, just enjoying being so close to her. “I know.”

“I wish I could drop everything, I do. I'd go with you guys in a heartbeat,” Eli said.

“I know you would,” Alex said, reaching for her hands. He didn't speak after that, he simply laced their fingers together.

Eli looked up at him, her heart pounding in her chest. Her palms were only slightly sweaty, she didn't want anything to give her away but her body was betraying her. She couldn't help how he made her body react whenever he was around; it was something that hadn't changed since high school, and she doubted it ever would. “Alex...”

“Ssh,” Alex whispered, his free hand sliding up the side of her neck, thumb brushing over her pulse point.

Eli sucked in a deep breath, her eyes fluttering shut. And when Alex leaned down, she met him halfway. She didn't mistake the sound that left him for anything other than a moan. He backed her against the wall and she needed the support as her knees were about to betray her as well. He slipped a leg between hers, his knee helped support her.

Eli's hand slipped to his back, gripping his shirt tighter to hold onto him. Words wouldn't have been able to describe how she felt whenever Alex was around. Her nails dug into his back as his lips moved from her mouth down to her neck; her breaths coming out in shallow gasps. He nipped her neck and she was brought back to reality.

“Alex. Alex,” she said, moving her hand to his chest and pushing him away slightly.

“What?” Alex asked, his voice low.

Eli sighed, looking down, still touching his chest. “I have a boyfriend.”

Alex growled low in his throat. “Break up with him.”

“I can't do that.”

“But you can cheat on him?”

Eli scoffed, pushing him away and stepping away from the wall. “It's not like that. That. That shouldn't have happened, Alex. And you know it.”

“No, I don't. I wanted it to happen, Eli,” Alex said.

“Alex, I can't...” she sighed. “I'm sorry. I can't do that to him.”

Alex bit his lip, holding in all of the words he wanted to say. He bit back confessions, words of pleading, begging her not to go. Instead, he said the only thing he could say. “Okay. If that's what you want.”

Eli felt tears prick at her eyes and she ignored them. “I'm sorry, Alex.”

“Don't be,” he said, shrugging. “Don't be.”