Danger Line

Matt’s Point of View

When I woke up, I almost thought last night was a dream until I had Kari in my arms. Her back was against my chest and I felt something in my chest swell up. I had her in my arms again. My arms were no longer empty. I never thought I would feel what I was feeling at the moment, complete happiness. I didn’t want it to be short-lived. I wanted her to remain in my arms for all of eternity. I didn’t want her to leave my side again.

I couldn’t fucking think of letting her go again.

I suddenly remembered something. When my hands caressed her back, I had felt bumps. I wanted to see. I knew she wouldn’t let me if I woke her up, so I slowly pulled back enough to see her back. My eyes widened in shock. Scars.

Scars from what seemed like lashes covered her back in random places. Many emotions went through me, but I mostly felt anger. I was angry at the men who did this to my wife. I wanted their blood on my hands. I wanted their lives gone.

No wonder she panicked when I wanted to turn on the lights. She must think I wouldn’t love her anymore if I saw the scars.

I had to let her know I loved her no matter what.

“Kari,” I spoke softly in her ear, “it’s time to wake up, babe.”

Karina’s Point of View

I stirred at the sound of Matt’s voice. I felt a smile on my lips and my body sang with rest. I had the most wonderful dream, and my body was rested. My mind too. I felt Matt’s hand caress down my side and then he wrapped his arm around my waist.

I felt his lips on my neck. I moaned when he reached my weak spot. It was also a wake up call. I shot open my eyes and moved away from Matt. I stared at our naked bodies. I knew I let him stay with me, but we had clothes. Why were we naked?

“Wh-what happened?” I asked as I grabbed the bed sheet to cover my body. Did he see my scars? God, no, please!

Matt looked at me with a frown. “What do you mean ‘what happened’?” he asked.

My flushed face stared at him in shock. “I mean why are we naked?! Did… we…?”

“Make love,” he answered.

My mouth fell open. “We what?”

Matt’s frown deepened. “Don’t fucking play with me, Kari.”

“I’m not playing with you. I don’t remember!” I said through gritted teeth.

“Are you saying you don’t remember us making love last night?”

I started to breathe fast. “I don’t,” I whimpered.

“How is that even possible?” he shook his head. “I’m pretty sure you were there as I drove inside of you and made you come.”

My already flushed face just got redder.

Two light knocks stopped me from responding to what Matt said.

“Mommy? Daddy?” It was Damien. “Am I going to school?”

My eyes flashed to the time. We had half an hour before Damien’s school started.

“Shit,” Matt cursed and got out of bed. I pulled the bed sheet with me and went to the dresser to get some clothes.

I got a pair of jeans and a shirt along with underwear. I changed quickly. I looked over to Matt and saw him walk over to the door. He opened it and picked up Damien.

“I’ll take him to school,” he said and without another word he closed the door.

What did I do? How was me not remembering us making love my fault? Okay, maybe somewhat, but I had no idea how it happened. I tried my hardest to remember what happened last night, but I just remembered falling asleep in his arms with clothes on, and then I woke up happy, content naked next to my husband.

When I walked out of the bedroom and down to the first floor Matt was tying Damien’s shoes.

“Mommy!” Damien exclaimed.

Matt finished tying his shoes and Damien ran to me. I picked him up and pecked his cheek.

“Are you coming with us?” he asked with a small pout.

I looked over to a very displeased Matt, and turned back to my son. “Not this morning, but I’ll pick you up, I promise.”

“Okay,” Damien said with a wide smile.

I pecked his lips two times.

“I love you,” I told him.

“Love you too, mommy,” he wrapped his little arms around my neck. I placed him back on his feet and helped him with his small backpack.

The three of us went outside and I put Damien in the car seat. I closed the door and turned to Matt who was across the car.

“I’ll be back after I drop him off,” he said.

I nodded my head. “Okay.”

I went back inside and tried to make sense of things.

I was a nurse, but what I was thinking was a bit extreme. I heard about it, but some doctors thought it wasn’t true. Now I knew it was true.

I went to Matt’s office to use the computer.

I started my research and frowned at the results.

“Oh God!” I covered my face. I didn’t think it was possible.

It was Sexsnomia or sleep sex.

How could it be? I never had trouble with it before. Wait, as a child I used to sleepwalk, but I grew out of it, according to my parents.

“Well shit,” I said.

“What?” Matt spoke from the doorway.

He stood there with his arms crossed across his chest.

“I-I was just looking up something that I believe explains what happened… last night,” I answered.

He walked inside and sat down in the chairs in front of the desk.

“What is the explanation that you don’t remember last night?” he asked like he was mad at me.

I wanted to snap at him, but it wasn’t his fault. It was mine.

“It’s called sleep sex,” I said softly. “It was caused by my sleep deprivation.”

Matt licked his lips. He knew I wouldn’t be suggesting this unless I felt it was true. I was a nurse, a professional. I just didn’t believe everything I was told or learned.

“I used to sleepwalk when I was a child,” I muttered.

“I know,” he said. “One night you ended up at my home. We were ten, remember?”

That was right. God, it was so terrifying. My parents had been so worried.

“It was the last time it happened,” I ran a hand through my messy hair. “I hope you don’t think I’m making this up, Matt.”

“You’re not a liar, Kari,” he looked straight into my eyes. “It just hurt my ego a bit. And I’m wondering…” he trailed off and looked away.

“Wondering what?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me,” I insisted.

He sighed and didn’t look at me as he answered. “If it is caused by sleep deprivation, then I doubt you got much sleep… when you were captured with Eli…” he stopped to collect himself.

I blinked and put the puzzle pieces together.

“You’re wondering if it happened with Eli,” I finished.

Matt pressed his lips together to confirm he was indeed thinking that.

I cleared my throat and looked down.

“I have no way of answering that, but I’m sure Eli would have told me if I was molesting him during my sleep!” I snapped and got up and started to walk away.

“Don’t get mad at me,” Matt followed me out of the office and into the kitchen.

“I thought we were past this. You like Eli, and the rest of the guys do too.”

“I’m sorry if all of this is just a bit confusing for me! I thought last night we had connected. I thought we were finally moving on!”

“Sex doesn’t mean we’re moving on!” I shouted back at him.

“I thought you were letting me back in, and you know what I mean when I said that,” he said. “I thought--”

“Well it’s not like that!” I whimpered. “I’m fucking scared, Matt! I’m scared when I’m awake, and when I’m asleep. I can’t do anything!”

“Let me in, let me help you. I saw the scars, Kari,” he said softly.

I didn’t look at him.

“I still love you,” he crossed the space between us and stood in front of me. “I love you even more.”

“I didn’t want you to see them,” I felt the hot tears spill down my face. “Or my horrendous body.”

“It is not horrendous, Kari,” he said.

“It is!” I shouted and took two steps away from him. “It’s disgusting. Every time I look in the mirror I don’t see the same Kari! I see a broken woman! A woman who can’t stand to look at herself. She hates what she sees every morning in the mirror. I look at my ribcage and I cringe. I’m just bones! And you used to love me for my luscious body.”

“When have I ever fucking said I only loved you for your body?!” he shouted. “Goddamn it, Kari! You know I love you because of you! I fell in love with you before you grew into your body! I love you because of who you are. You could have no legs and I would still love you!”

His words were kind, but he didn’t understand. No one would understand.

Only Eli understood what I was going through. Matt would never understand the pain. He could only imagine, and that would still not be enough.

Matt walked over to me and he kissed me. I kissed back only after a moment of hesitance. Our make out was disrupted by his cell phone.

“Answer,” I said through the kiss.

He stepped back and answered. I heard Larry’s voice.

“We need to lay down vocals, Matt,” Larry said.

“I’ll be there in a bit. I had something to attend,” Matt answered.

Matt promised to be there as soon as possible and then hung up. He turned to me.

“Do you want to come with me?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I need to be alone for a while.”

Matt gave me a suspicious look.

“I’m not suicidal, Matt,” I growled. “Just go to the studio, I’ll be fine. I’m going to call my mom later to help me pick up Damien from school.”

“Okay,” Matt said and kissed me one more time before leaving.

I was alone for about half an hour before I went to the phone. I had Eli’s number with me and I called him. He was going to pick me up to go out for coffee.