Let Me In

Brian grabbed his bag from the back of the car, before locking the door and strolling up the path to Beth’s front door. He fished the key Beth had given him out of his pocket, knowing that in spite of Beth probably having already collecting her mail that morning, the door would be locked. It was a measure they had decided she needed to take after Colby had decided on his first arranged visit with Nate that he could just walk right in without knocking as though he owned the place. Brian smirked to himself as he remembered the way Colby had visibly paled when he had seen Brian sitting on the couch.

Closing and locking the door behind him, a grin formed on Brian’s lips at the sound of someone running towards him. Turning round, he braced himself for the greeting he knew he was about to receive.

“Morning buddy,” he chuckled as Nate practically slammed into him, wrapping his small thin arms around the man who seemed to have become his new best friend.

Brian knelt down, allowing Nate to embrace him properly.

“I wouldn’t stay too close for long dude, I smell from work,” he informed Nate, laughing as the young boy pulled away, his nose scrunched up as he realized Brian wasn’t lying.

“You looking forward to your day at the beach and meeting Zara and Lucas?” Brian asked, still at eye level with Nate.

Beth had arranged to take Nate out for the day with Zara and her nephew, hoping that her son could start to form some more new bonds with people that it would seem were going to be a part of their lives from now on.

“Y..yes,” Nate replied, smiling.

“You’ll have fun, Lucas is cool, although not as cool as you little dude,” Brian stated sincerely, ruffling Nate’s hair before standing up. “Where’s your mom?”

Nate pointed to the hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathroom. Brian quirked an eyebrow at him before looking at the empty space.

“Nope, can’t see her,” he mused, encouraging Nate to actually speak.

“Bedroom,” Nate finally murmured.

“Thought so,” Brian replied with another grin. “I’m just gonna go say hi, I’ll see you in a few minutes okay?”

Nate nodded, wandering back into the lounge whilst Brian headed in the opposite direction. Stopping in the doorway to Beth’s room, he watched for a minute whilst she leaned over the bed as she made it, admiring the view of her in a pair of denim cut offs that left little to the imagination.

“They’re gonna make those things illegal one day,” he stated quietly.

Beth straightened up quickly, turning to look at him, her cheeks taking on a pink hue.

“I knew they were too short,” she muttered.

“Not from where I’m standing,” Brian admitted, stepping inside the room.

“I thought you were going home after work, catch a couple of hours sleep before meeting the guys for breakfast.”

“I was,” Brian yawned, “ but we ended up getting off shift late as we were out on a call. I got home, and Jimmy called, saying that he would get me from here when he brings Zara and Lucas over. So I just grabbed what I needed for the next few days, and thought I’d get a shower here if that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Beth smiled as Brian took her in his arms, ignoring the smell that greeted her nose from his uniform. “But you don’t have to keep staying, I told you that. You look exhausted,” she pointed out, sounding a little guilty.

All week Brian had been finishing his shift, going straight to Beth’s, sleeping until just before she got back from collecting Nate from school, and making sure he was there whenever Colby showed up. She knew it had to be taking it’s toll on him, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

“Has Colby jumped on a plane back to Texas?” Brian questioned.

“No, but you…”

“Then you’re stuck with me until he does. Besides, I have the next four days off, I can catch up on sleep then,” he assured her, before kissing her briefly.

“Oh, and this was in my mailbox when I checked it,” Brian added, digging into his pocket and taking out a somewhat scrunched up envelope. “Take a look.”

Beth opened the envelope that was simply addressed Brian and took out the letter it contained. Her brown eyes scanned the neatly written list of items that Beth knew were in Brian’s home. Her eyes widened a little when she saw who had signed it.

“Do any of these things belong to Clayre?” she asked. “Because we packed an awful lot of stuff that night, and you were fairly certain we had everything.”

“No,” Brian scoffed. “Chances are she’s heard I’m with you. This is what she does, disappears completely then as soon as she hears I may have met someone, suddenly starts making her presence known.”

Brian took her in his arms once more and gazed down at her, a serene smile on his lips.

“Of course, if she thinks I’m gonna go crawling back this time, she’s in for a shock, because she’s not the one I…..”

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes fixed firmly on Beth’s as though he was searching for something.

“She’s not the one I want to be with,” he finished quietly as Beth laid her head against his chest.

“Must be the week for exes to show up huh? Maybe they’re in cahoots,” Beth joked lightly.

“I doubt Clayre even fucking knows what cahoots means baby,” Brian chuckled.

“Bri, I really think you need to get out of that shirt,” Beth suggested, stepping away from him.

“I know, I know,” he sighed, making to remove the offending article as there was a sharp rapping on the front door.

“That’ll be Jimmy,” he muttered, kissing Beth once more before going to let their friends in.

Brian unlocked the door, opening to reveal Jimmy, Zara and Lucas all standing there.

“I’ve always loved a man in uniform,” Jimmy informed him without as much as a hello. “Hope you’re keeping that on for our little breakfast date,” he added, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Or maybe not,” Jimmy continued sniffing the air. “Jesus, Brian….you’re ripe!”

“Hey! Some of us actually have jobs that cause us to work up a sweat okay?” Brian protested. “And I don’t mean getting a little hot under the collar as we watch our woman make friends with a pole five nights a week!”

“Watch it Haner!” Zara warned, walking past the pair, her nephew’s hand firmly in hers.

Beth shook her head with a laugh, before greeting Zara and Lucas warmly.

“Ready to meet Nate?” she asked.

“I think I’m more excite than Lucas is doll,” Zara admitted with a wink. “Lead the way!”

***************

Checking that she was completely dry, Beth quickly put her shorts and black v neck shirt back on over the top of her bikini. She sat back down on the blanket next to Zara, who was watching where Nate and Lucas played in the sand. They had not long finished splashing about in the water, and now seemed to be winding down from the excitement of the day.

Beth had been amazed at how Lucas had interacted with her son. He was two years older than Nate, and Beth had been a little concerned that maybe Lucas wouldn’t quite know how to react if Nate went into his own little world, oblivious to everyone and everything around him. Beth mentioned this as they sat soaking up the sun. She hadn’t been able to contain her surprise, and relief, when Zara had confessed that Lucas’ mother, her sister Dana, worked with children with Autism and Asperger’s all of his life. He had grown up around those kids, which is why Zara had known that introducing him to Nate was never going to be an issue.

“I gotta say though, I’ve seen a lot of the kids Dana’s worked with, and Nate really doesn’t come across as severe as some of them,” Zara stated. “He’s at Pyramid Center in Orange right? Has no one there ever commented on that?”

“Actually Meredith there and I were discussing that this week. When Nate was first diagnosed, the doctors weren’t entirely sure what level he really was. As he got older, his outbursts, refusal to mingle…just everything about him pointed towards it being quite high. He was the same when we first moved here, but over the months, he’s changed so much. He’s a different kid, except when Colby’s around, ” Beth informed her.

“So what you’re saying is that Colby’s rejection and refusal to nurture him caused him to act out, but now you’re living here, and surrounded by people who want nothing but the best for and from him, his true level is starting to become more apparent,” Zara commented. “How’s he been this week with Colby being around?”

“He reacted badly when he first showed up, but apart from being very withdrawn the entire time Colby is in the same room as him, he’s been quite calm. I think….no, correct that, I know it’s because both Brian and I have been there. He knows we both want what’s best for him, and that we would never leave him alone with Colby.”

“Nate adores Brian, that’s plain to see, and vice versa. I watched Brian with him this morning, he’s fantastic with him.”

“He really is,” Beth agreed. “He’s been amazing all week, and given so much more than I ever expected or asked of him.”

Zara laughed and looked at Beth.

“That’s because that crazy fool loves you.”

“What?” Beth questioned, not entirely certain she had heard Zara correctly.

“I know he’s gonna kill me when he finds out I’ve opened my mouth, but that boy is in love with you Beth, it’s so freaking obvious!” Zara exclaimed.

“But we’ve only been together a few weeks, that’s impossible,” Beth murmured, not even sure what to think or make of Zara’s words right then.

“Maybe so, but you were spending time together as friends before then, and I think that’s when the seed was sown. Beth, I’ve known Brian a lot of years, and he’s never been this way with Clayre or any of the girls he may have dated briefly during his breaks from that spoilt brat. Even the guys see it. Even after you told him you couldn’t be together, he never gave up Beth, it just made him more determined, and I believe maybe even he wasn’t sure why. But now, I think being with you, it’s made it all fall into place.”

Taking a bottle of water from her bag, Beth took a long drink from it as she silently went over everything Zara had said. A flashback to that morning when Brian had shown her the letter from Clayre, and how he had hesitated before assuring her that Clayre wasn’t the one he wanted to be with, it had seemed as though he was going to say something else, but for some reason changed his mind. Her mind in a whirl, Beth replaced the cap on the bottle and continued to look out at the ocean in front of them. She knew she had feelings for Brian, and she was very aware they were like nothing she had felt before with Colby, but as of yet, she hadn’t put a label on it. She couldn’t, because she had been mistaken in the past about her feelings, and she wasn’t prepared to get burned again just yet