Let Me In

Running the razor carefully along his throat to the underside of his chin, Brian had to admit to himself that he felt the most relaxed he had for a couple of weeks. Colby had finally boarded a plane back to Texas that morning, and little over an hour, he and Beth were heading out for an evening with their friends without the worry that Colby would attempt to show up at her parents’ house unannounced, causing a scene.

Putting aside how he had been feeling these past two weeks, more than anything Brian wanted for the worry and concern that had been plaguing Beth to disappear. Over the last seven days, she had appeared shrouded in a cloud of distraction, her face etched with a look that told Brian she was troubled and her mind was occupied with something she didn’t seem too eager to discuss.

Brian had hoped that as the week progressed, whatever fears that were lurking within would begin to dissipate, yet they seemed to linger and strengthen with time. Ordinarily, Brian would have confronted Beth, but given the circumstances which they had found themselves in, he had opted to let it slide. For now.

The sound of the front door opening then closing brought a smile to Brian’s handsome face. Placing the razor on the edge of the sink, he swiftly rinsed off the excess shaving foam, awaiting Beth’s gentle tones to enquire as to his whereabouts. Frowning slightly when he didn’t hear anything, Brian adjusted the towel that clung to his hips before venturing out into the hallway.

“Beth?” he called out in question.

Not getting any response, he continued on his way, sighing when he finally saw her standing in the kitchen, her back facing him. Strolling up behind her, Brian slid his arms around her waist, not failing to notice the way Beth flinched.

“Hey, it’s just me,” he soothed, his mind racing as to just what the hell it was that was eating away at her.
Brian placed a gentle kiss on Beth’s temple before resting his head against hers, the desire to be close to her, to silently let her know that whatever was wrong he was by her side so strong.

“Nate settle okay?” he asked quietly, getting no more than a nod in reply.

Letting another sigh escape him, Brian allowed his arms to fall to his side as he took a step back from Beth.

“I’m gonna go get dressed, bathroom’s all yours,” he murmured before walking away.

A few minutes later, as Brian pulled his shirt on, he noticed the figure standing in the doorway to the bedroom. Unsure of just what to say, he ignored Beth at first, choosing instead to fuss with his hair in front of the dresser mirror. After a while, he noted from her reflection that she hadn’t moved.

“Baby, we’re meeting everyone in just under an hour,” he stated, hoping that he came across as encouraging rather than exasperated.

“I know it’s a little short notice, but I don’t really feel like going out,” Beth finally answered, her voice quiet and shaky.

Brian couldn’t prevent the smirk that formed, thinking right then that maybe he was going to like the way this conversation could be heading.

“I’m down with that,” he replied enthusiastically, walking over to her, settling his hands on her hips. “I think maybe a night in alone is what we need,” he added softly, his lips finding hers.

“What the…” he whispered as Beth tore herself away from him, confusion no doubt written all over his face.

“No, you still go, you haven’t spent time with the guys for ages, what with being here for Nate and I. Plus, I just really want some me time…if that’s okay.”

Turning away from her, Brian grabbed the black Nikes that sat by the edge of the bed, pulling them on.

“Okay, if that’s what you want. Maybe it’ll give you some time to think, get straight whatever’s going on in that head of yours Beth, because this past week you’ve been so fucking closed up it’s unreal.”

Taking his keys and wallet from the nightstand, Brian glanced over at her, then took hold of the bag he’d been using to bring his clothes back and forth the last two weeks.

“Remember the night we sat on your couch, the night you finally told me all about Nate? Well I do, and I seem to remember we agreed no more secrets,” Brian pointed out. “There’s something going on here Beth, and I hate that right now you’re keeping whatever it is from me. But, you want time on your own, fine, have it. I’ll be staying at mine tonight, maybe that will give you enough space.”

Without giving her the chance to explain, Brian pushed passed Beth and headed for the door, not even giving her a second glance.

***************

Matt stood watching as Brian downed his second beer within minutes of finishing his first, before quickly ordering up another. He looked over at Jimmy for some kind of explanation, only to get nothing more than a shrug of confusion in response. Matt had quickly figured out that whatever the problem was, Beth was at the centre of it, given that Brian had arrived at Johnny’s Bar and Grill alone. The air that Brian had given off from the minute he’d stormed in through the door has thus far prevented any of the group from even daring to ask just where Beth even was. However, Matt knew that eventually one of them was going to have to throw that question in Brian’s direction, and somehow he had a feeling it was going to be him.

Seeing Brian order up a couple of shots of absinthe, Matt knew it was time to step in.

“Dude, maybe wanna let everyone join in this little party for one, get us all one of those bad boys?” he suggested.

“Fine,” Brian huffed. “Make it a group round,” he told the bar tender, indicating to the table where everyone was sitting, as well as Matt and Jimmy who were stood either side of him. “Plus another couple for me,” he added.

“Woah there Haner, just what the fuck has gotten into you tonight?” Matt quizzed, hating to see his friend clearly hurting and trying to obliterate whatever was on his mind with booze.

“Just got shit on my mind Matthew,” Brian answered, knocking back one of the shots.

“Really now?” Jimmy stated coolly, earning himself a glare from the man he saw as a brother trying to drown his sorrows.

“Brian, talk to us, because this isn’t healthy,” Matt urged, wanting to get to the bottom of this, and fast.

Placing both hands on the edge of the bar, Brian stared down at the floor and began to speak. Jimmy and Matt remained silent as they listened to their friend offload just what was on his mind. Neither of them offered an opinion until they were completely sure he was finished, wanting to know the full story before even trying to reach some kind of solution as to just what may be going on with Beth.

Once Brian appeared to be done, Matt cleared his throat.

“Are you sure this isn’t all because Beth’s gotten used to having you around, and maybe tonight is her way of trying to get to grips with not having you there all the time?” he asked.

Brian shook his head.

“No, this has been going on for a week now Matt. If it had only been a couple of days, then maybe I’d say yes, but no, it’s something deeper than that, I’m sure of it.”

“You haven’t mentioned that your lease is up on the house next month and scared her into thinking you want to take up permanent residence in her bed have you?” Jimmy questioned.

Once again, Brian’s response was negative. Matt crossed his arms over his broad chest, mulling over all other possibilities.

“You say a week…just when did she start becoming distant exactly?”

“Last Saturday, why?”

Matt looked over at Jimmy, who nodded, then disappeared over to the table where the rest of the group were still gathered.

“Just trying to figure something out is all,” Matt replied, hoping that maybe someone else might be able to shed a little light on the subject.

As silence fell between the two men, Brian returned his attention back to the alcohol sitting on the bar in front of him. Picking up the bottle of beer, he took a long slow drink from it, wanting to ease the tension he could feel building up within him.

“Brian honey, Jimmy says something’s going on with you and Beth? Everything okay?”

Brian glanced over at Zara, rolling his eyes.

“Fine and fucking dandy,” he answered dryly.

“She’s been a little off since last weekend apparently,” Matt interjected. “Just wondered if maybe she’d said anything to you whilst you were at the beach.”

“Doubt it,” Brian scoffed.

“Brian, shut the fuck up a minute, we’re trying to help,” Jimmy hissed.

Zara stood looking thoughtful, as if trying to recall the conversations she and Beth had had, only to shake her head.

“I can’t think of anything. We spoke about Nate, and how well he’s doing, and how amazing you are with him, then that of course led us onto….oh shit.”

Three pairs of eyes all turned their attention on her, waiting for an explanation as to why she had suddenly trailed off.

“I think I know what it is,” Zara admitted sheepishly.

“What?” Brian demanded, needing to know so maybe he could put an end to how he was feeling.

“Beth was saying how you’d given so much more than she had asked for….and I told her that was because you love her.”

“You fucking said what?” Brian cried in disbelief.

“Hey! Do not shout at my woman!” Jimmy protested.

“Jimmy, don’t. He’s every right to be angry, I should never had said anything. I knew that when Beth went quiet after I carried on yapping my mouth off about how obvious it was that you’re in love with her.”
“I don’t fucking believe this,” Brian murmured, running a hand through his brown hair. “No wonder she’s been pulling away.”

“So you’re saying you’re not in love with her?” Jimmy questioned. “Because we’d beg to differ on that one Brian.”

“I’m not denying what I feel, I’ve known it for a while now. I nearly said something last week, but knew it was too soon, I really don’t think she’s on the same page as me,” Brian confessed.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Zara tried to reassure him.

Brian shook his head.

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d seen the way she’s been this week. I need some air.”

Making his way outside, Brian leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths as he let it all sink in just what had brought about the sudden change in Beth. He had never expected to fall for her so quickly, but she had been the breath of fresh air that he had needed and knocked him for six, making him feel emotions he’d never thought possible. That however, did nothing to stop him from feeling like a complete douche for walking out on her the way he had earlier that evening. Yet he knew he needed to give Beth a little more time and space to think.

Reaching into his pocket and taking out his cell phone, Brian felt he had to do something, just to let Beth know that he now understood. Scrolling down to start a text he began typing away, pausing briefly before hitting the send button.

“Take all the time you need, just know that I will never be sorry for falling in love with you. B xxx”