Just to Live

By the third day, everyone knew Tabitha left…once again. The only thing different this time was that she departed entirely alone. The next morning at the start of November, Maria didn’t find Tabitha in the kitchen where she usually was during breakfast. It was weird it took such an arduous effort to find one person, but it wasn’t rare. Everyone knew Tabitha usually liked time to herself. In spite of Tabitha always sneaking off to a quiet spot for herself, when a good amount of people asked around to see where she was to discover she seemed to have disappeared, the hushed conversations of her whereabouts began again.

It was also mystifying that on a regular weekday, no one showed up to watch the women go attend to their chores. They waited in a confused crowd until finally Brian told them all to take a day off.

Whether it was someone cooking or people passing by to get to other places in the mansion, the kitchen always had company. Eleanor wasn’t there by her spot in front of the oven to bake delicious treats for everyone. The only person in the kitchen was Matthew and a beer bottle that he took continuous sips from while talking to it as though it was his therapist.

Instantly, Matthew cursed like no tomorrow when Brian finally found him. “I can’t believe she fucking said that to me! Like, shit! What the hell!”

Brian sighed. “I know, calm down.”

“B-but she left again…Brian, she’s not coming back,” he whispered. He shuddered softly, leaving behind small traces of tears.

“Hey, I think she will,” Brian tried reassuringly.

“Don’t bullshit me. You know she won’t either. It’s just…It looked really good when I played it in my head.”

“Doesn’t it always? So how exactly did it go?”

Matthew gave him the puppy dog eyes, pleading so he wouldn’t have to tell the story. He didn’t succeed.

“Fine. Well you know how I went back to the mansion for that masquerade right? I had to wear a mask so she didn’t know who I was. I danced with her for about two songs and then I kissed her. She really looked happy for once. Then last night I took her outside, we talked a little, and I kissed her again. She found out it was me and she freaked out and ran away.”

“You have the worst luck with Tabby I swear.”

He grimaced. “Thanks.”

Erika clumped into the kitchen, equivalently sullen as the atmosphere in the room. Brian frowned and offered to hug her to try to get a smile to appear on her face. It didn’t work at all.

“She left didn’t she?”

A talent of Brian’s wasn’t lying, but he had to practice it for Erika’s sake.

“No sweetie. She’s running errands for me,” he explained.

She scoffed and raised her eyebrow. Matthew saw this and noted that Tabitha raised her eyebrow in the exact same way. He whined loudly and sang inaudible song lyrics. That earned him a glare from Brian that went unnoticed.

“For three days though? Why did she go? Was it something I said?” Her face crumpled and she started to cry.

Brian sighed and hugged Erika closer to him so that he head rested on his shoulder. “It isn’t your fault,” he told her. “Tabby’s on a small vacation right now. She’ll come back okay? I promise.” Erika nodded her head and sighed, wiping away the tears tracked on her cheeks. “Good. Now run along and bother Zacky. You haven’t talked to him in awhile.”

Everything was too chaotic and stressful. Brian had to commend everyone to keep them slightly satisfied. It was too much, excessively much.

“Dear God; the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away,” Matthew sang with his voice cracking.

Brian snapped. “Would you stop it? You didn’t lose her.”

“We all need that person who can be true to you…‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired and I’m missing you again.”

“Alright, well look. Drinking isn’t going to bring her back. Give me the beer.”

Matthew gripped the beer bottle tightly. “No.”

“Matt, would you want Tabby to see you like this?”

“N-no…”

“So stop drinking and get her back.”

He was so brokenhearted that he didn’t even think to go find her so he could beg for forgiveness. All the binge drinking wasn’t helping him find her any faster. It was time to turn things around.