Just to Live

When Tabitha returned to the mansion with Matthew, everyone except the other maids and her mother showered her with love, worry, and affection. Her runaway story was becoming increasingly annoying—even to her. She knew her mother held a lot of resentment for her. She didn’t pride herself for always running away from her problems when she couldn’t solve or stomach them. Hiding was something natural to her. Along with the expertise of making quick, yet temporary escapes, she was a pro with keeping secrets. She refused to tell Maria and Erika where she stayed for shelter and warmth while she was away. They didn’t need to know she found her father. Erika wouldn’t have remembered him and Maria would have burst into wailing tears.

The day she came back was Sunday. How convenient for Matthew. He decided he would take her out on their first date; her first date in general. Truthfully, Tabitha wanted to talk to her mom. While in the Mitsubishi Lancer, he gave her a pair of shades to wear.

“Why?” she questioned, using them anyways.

He chuckled. “Hello, I’m one of the owners of a pretty popular record company. There’s paparazzi.”

“What do sunglasses have to do with this?”

“It kind of adds on to the mysterious tone. I like it.”

She stared at him as he sped out of the mansion gates. “You’re weird.”

“So I’ve been told.” He grinned. “Okay, first date. Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. I’ve spent the last few years of my life surviving. You pick.”

Tabitha’s sarcastic quips and sour attitude weren’t enough to bring Matthew down. He finally had the chance to take the girl he’d had feelings for since what seemed like forever on a date. He would show her how a true gentleman treated a lady and he would drench her in gifts if he had to. He understood that Tabitha didn’t care for material possessions and that money wouldn’t make her like him more, but the idea of small gifts for her to enjoy made him too eager to let her invade a mall.

“I would say the beach, but that’s so typical,” he said to himself.

Tabitha counted her fingers. “So is the mall, movies, going out to eat-”

“I get the point,” he cut in, a little perturbed. “It’s not easy picking out a place to go. Hold on and I’ll think of something.”

While driving leisurely on the highway, they sat in the car listening to the music spewing from the radio. One of Taylor Swift’s many popular songs played, making Tabitha sing along. “…You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

“Am I yours?” he asked, smiling with his dimples visible.

“I don’t know,” she replied quietly.

He didn’t have to be a psychic to know he made her feel uncomfortable. “Well, I figured something we could do.”

They pulled into a plaza, parking in front of a spa resort. Tabitha gasped. “You’re joking right?”

He didn’t say anything as they walked into the spa. After the receptionist announced the masseuses needed a few minutes to prepare, she gave them robes to wear later on. Matthew put the robes in a chair in the lobby. He put his hands on Tabitha’s shoulder and squeezed, only adding a little bit of pressure. She tensed up on contact.

“See? You need a massage. Relax,” he whispered.

Two middle-aged masseuses appeared, directing Matthew and Tabitha into two different rooms to change. Tabitha laid face down on the comfortable bed, waiting for her de-stressing treatment. She waited a few minutes and then heard the door open.

“Hey, she took a break. I’ll finish you up.”

‘What the hell! I just got here!’ Tabitha chastised. She wasn’t comfortable with a man touching her.

“Don’t worry, I’m gay,” said the masseur.

“Okay…” she muttered, trying to figure how that would make the situation better.

The man let a pea-sized drop of sweet almond oil onto his palms before he rubbed them together. Once his palms had a fair amount of oil between the two, he dove for Tabitha’s shoulders first.

“Your shoulders are so knotted,” he noted. “Been in stress lately?”

“Yeah,” she said, relaxing under the man’s soft yet firm kneading.

He scoffed. “Tell me about it. I’m having problems with my boyfriend. Seems like you’re having problems too.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” she mumbled.

“Really? It looked like it sorta. Then again, I could be wrong. You did look like you didn’t want to be anywhere near him. What’s the history with you two?”

Maybe it was the feature that the masseur wasn’t attracted to women, but Tabitha felt like she could go to him for relationship advice.

“He’s my boss,” she dared to say.

“Oh, the forbidden relationship type of thing? That’s so exciting!” he squealed, patting her left shoulder blade in a you-get-brownie-points-for-that way.

“It’s kind of a pain in the ass. I like him and he likes me too but I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, what are you afraid of?” he asked, moving down to her back.

“I’m gonna sound generic okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m scared.”

“I would slap you if I could. How the hell is that generic?”

“Because I’m afraid to get hurt.”

“Go on.”

So maybe the whole best gay friend thing might work for her.

“For the past few years, I mean like, I’ve had to take care of my mom and little sister. That was the routine and I was used to it. Then he got in the way and he shows me he’ll take care of me. How crazy is that? I learned to take care of myself and then he pops up and tells me he can take care of me. I’m just scared.”

“Look at me.” She turned her head to stare into his electric blue eyes. “Sweetie, you need to embrace the fact that you have someone who adores you enough to want to make your life better.”

She wanted to ask where he was all her life, but thought that would’ve been inappropriate. Instead, she decided to show a little vulnerability. “What if I told you I don’t know what to do? I don’t want to mess up and ruin everything.”

The constant kneading swam down to her calves.

“Everyone makes mistakes. Does he know you’re inexperienced with relationships?”

“Probably not. We argue a lot though.”

“That’s not good. Does talking work?”

“Not at all. I really don’t know what to do.”

“How much does he like you?”

“I’m not sure, but he got me this necklace I’m wearing.”

“Lemme see.” He turned the chain so he could see the pendant. “Holy shit. That’s a blue diamond. They’re rare and expensive as hell! Are you fucking crazy?!”

“Maybe? I don’t know?”

“You really are. After this massage thing is over, you better kiss the hell outta that man.”