Journey to the Past

“Ok,” I said quietly, containing myself. Vinnie stared at me. “So… hey… um…” I shrugged. “I was at the park with this kid,” I poked Vinnie. “And… I hear a name. ‘Biersack!’ being called. I thought it was me… since my last name is technically Biersack, right?” Dad nodded. Scout bit her lip. “And I didn’t know who was calling and then they called again and some guy came along instead. So I talked to him… and he told me his name is Jace Biersack and he doesn’t know his dad… and, dad, Biersack isn’t a common name, now, is it?” I said. Dad’s eyes grew large at my words and Scout rolled her eyes and looked at him expectantly.

“Um…” Dad began, but I cut him off.

“Then he acted weird with me—”

“The term is ‘hit on’,” Vinnie whispered in my ear.

“WHAT?!” Dad yelled.

“Indeed,” We both said.

“Ok, basically, your dad in his glory band days was a manwhore.” Scout said.

“Who woulda thought?” Dad asked.

“And he slept with one girl every stop they made on tour for a lot of tours.”

“Uncle Andy, do you have an STD?” Vinnie asked. I looked at him, confused and blinked a few times. “Nevermind,”

“Slept?” I asked. “Like, what’s so bad about sleeping?” I asked.

“Oh, dear, she’s grown up in an orphanage. Sure, she’ll be intelligent as fuck but she doesn’t know much slang, does she?” Dad asked. “I had…”

“Intercourse,” Vinnie spoke. I jumped at the word.

“Daddy! That’s terrible!” I said.

“Isn’t it just?” He agreed.

“So?” I asked.

“So it turns out that either the condom broke or they lied and said ‘I’m on the birth control pill’ when they really weren’t or it was just one of those nights where I didn’t care… thus, baby Andys came out.” I coughed at his words and stared at dad. He looked down from my gaze and I tried to register what he’d just said.

I basically have half brothers and sisters throughout this whole fucking country, and I don’t know who they are… and I just found one who had ‘hit on me’. What the fuck.

“I’m going to bed.” I said softly.

“It’s only afternoon, sweety, are you sure?” Scout said. I nodded tightly and walked off through the house and al the way upstairs. Erin smiled and said, ‘Oh hey,” and I ignored it. I walked into my room, shutting the door and locking it before running to my bed and getting into the covers. I had a mentally hour long fight as to whether I should sleep or not… mostly because I was frightened of the fact that I may very well have nightmares… and I eventually did.

It was just a morbid, unlucid dream. Now that my memories had returned, I suppose it was a bit more clear, yet still, it frightened me. The guy that killed my mom is always there…

I yawned, getting up and unlocking the door. I was surprised when seconds later, there was a knock. I turned to look at it and said, “Come in!” and Dad came in. I hugged him, silently telling him I wasn’t angry and stuff… I don’t think it’s good that dad and I don’t talk enough… maybe we should start. “Dad?” I spoke softly. He nodded and looked at me. I sighed. “We don’t talk much. I think that should change.”

Dad crookedly smiled at me, pulling me into a warm and familiar hug. I returned it and felt him kiss my head. “Absolutely. I’d like to know more of my own daughter.”

“I’d like to know more of my own father,” I said, giggling. He softly laughed and an idea suddenly struck me. I looked at him with a smile, maybe a sly one, and he mirrored my gaze with a suspicious look. “What’s your favorite song that your band has done?” I asked. He took in a sharp breath and looked up in thought. “Definitely… I can’t choose… Knives and Pens, We Stitch These Wounds, Sweet Blasphemy, Heaven’s Calling, Perfect Weapon… so much. I honestly like them all.”

“Ok!” I said and ran from him. “VINNIE!” I yelled in the hall, and his head poked out from his room. He smiled. “Come!” I said, motioning for him to follow, and I went into Erin’s room.

“I have an extraordinary idea!” I spoke when I entered. Erin looked up from her book. “Vinnie, please tell me you play an instrument.”

“I can play a little bit of drums,” he said. “Why?”

“I can play guitar and bass, and Erin, you play guitar, right?” I asked. She nodded. “We should play for dad.” I said, smiling. Erin and Vinnie grinned. “Like, one of his band’s songs.”

“Well, we’d have to practice in secret. It’s an awesome idea, Andrea.” Vinnie said. I scrunched up my nose at him while I smiled.

“So, I’m playing guitar?” Erin asked.

“Indeed,” I said.

“Sounds cool!”

“Isn’t it just?” I asked.

Oh, dad and I are so related.

“I can’t wait to do this. I’m gunna start now.” Vinnie said.

“I guess I will too.”

In a week or so, we had figured out how to play the song and we ended up going to the garage to play it through once. It sounded fine, but it needed to get better, so we worked on that with no end. I feel like Dad’s trying hard, sure, and I care. This will be a great surprise for him. Once we kept practicing this song for another week more, we were getting it down perfectly.

And then it was the day… we decided to play it today for him.

After dinner, Vinnie and Erin ran off out of the house and into the garage. I smiled and helped Scout wash dishes and such, and when that was done, I was grateful that Dad came into the kitchen with us and yawned.

“I know how to wake you up, dad!” I said. “Go to the garage in five minutes.” Dad looked at me weirdly and I smiled again, looking at Scout. “You should come, too!” She looked at Andy and shrugged, nodding in agreement to this surprising idea of mine. “GOOD!” I ran off out of the house and into the garage with Erin and Vinnie. I grabbed my bass, which was plugged in (thank God for my friends) and I tuned it quickly and screamed into the microphone. I danced a little on the spot, hearing Vinnie bashing quickly on the drums.

This would be so good.

And finally, Dad and Scout came in the garage, looking at us with smiles. Dad took two random chairs that were stacked with others and set them in front of our set.

“What’s all this?” He asked. “Wow…” His blue eyes shined with a proud smile along with his real one and my heart swelled with excitement.

And so we played Sweet Blasphemy. Rather quickly, I found myself becoming lost in the music and forgetting that my Dad and Scout were in the room—it was only music. I heard Erin sing the background vocals. I played my bass like my life depended on it and sang like I didn’t have a limit on my voice’s volume. I bobbed my head and shook it, my hair kind of flying around at times as I did so. I scarcely danced but jumped up and down and looked behind me at Erin and Vinnie, smiling at them as this all happened. I loved this… it was… like an unknown flame suddenly exploded within me… the feeling of creating or performing music to an audience was a phenomenal experience for me… I never felt so… right in a position such as this…

I love performing…

I ended up editing the last part of the song vocally, holding the note for the word “see” when singing the last “when darkness is all you see” and I felt the vibration of it in my throat as I faded the sound softly, the music and myself taking a small dramatic pause, and continuing quickly. “This is our sweet blasphemy,” I let the last of the word flow a bit longer and we finished with the music, and Erin and I jumped while kicking the air while Vinnie did a crazy drum solo, bashing the last of the symbols and standing up.

I looked at Erin and Vinnie with a wide grin I couldn’t ever hold back in a million years from now, and we looked at our small audience of two adults.

Scout was smiling, nodding in approval, and Dad’s eyes glistened in astonishment and tears. I smiled even wider and his smile mirrored mine. “Ah, fuck,” He muttered, laughing softly as he wiped the few tears that slid down his cheeks. “I… I’m speechless at the moment… i…” He smiled, bit his lip and shook his head at us with proudness in his eyes.

“MAKE A BAND!” Scout yelled. We laughed but looked at each other. Maybe this could work out, to be honest.

“That was perfect,” Dad said, nodding. He bit his lip again and clapped.

“Thanks,” Erin and Vinnie said.

Dad was silent a bit until he spoke again and said, “Um, can I speak to Andrea, guys? Just… in private.” I think he was in shock of what we had just done. Erin and Vinnie ran off and Scout walked along after them, shutting the garage door after her. Dad’s eyes bored into mine. My eyes. His eyes. Mine.

“You definitely have our talent,” He said, breaking the silence. “I… can’t even express how much… you just made me feel… more in ten years, Andrea.” I smiled softly. “Perfection, your voice, your playing, their playing, her backup… the whole thing was simply perfect… and… all I could just see was… you guys playing it out there.”

“Well it was quite impressive, wasn’t it, Dad?” I spoke.

He softly laughed. “This is when your mom’s side comes in…” I smiled softly again and my eyes drooped a little before meeting his again. “Just a bit sassy. Sassy enough to talk from the right side of her mouth like the sassy bitch she was. Quite like you just did.” I laughed. “Confident, sarcastic, kind, lovable and musical. Very much like you.”

“Thank you,” I said, putting my bass down and walking over to the now empty chair next to him. “She was great, mom was… I do remember her from before everything disappeared… I have all my memories back, you know… um… yeah… she really loves you, dad… I remember that so well… and how Alex would always be in trouble with mom… and…” I laughed softly. “then he’d say something like ‘Oh dad said it was chill’ and she’d go over to you, scold you, and you’d just stand there, like, mesmerized or something.”

Dad blinked at me, looking rather impressed by what I just said. “You remember all that now?” I nodded. “You were born to perform, I believe it.”

I raised an eyebrow, which then furrowed with the other in confusion as I thought. “You really think so?” I asked.

“I know so. You’re Andy Six’s daughter. Of course you were born to be a performer. Acting, sure. I can see you acting.”

“’Cuz sassy bitches act errday,” I said, making him laugh.

“Singing and playing music and making music? That’s your calling. I remember you used to play piano—”

“Me too!” I squealed in happiness. Memories were amazing!

“Think about being in a band with Vinnie and Erin. That’d be something worth listening to instead of all the crap that’s been going on here lately. Dubstep. Who’s bright idea was it to bring club music into every day music? And then it’s popular and running everywhere. You guys could bring the rock and roll back.”

I nodded and looked down at my fiddling hands. “Just like your band did, huh?” I looked back at him and he ruffled my hair and pulled me into a hug, kissing my cheek and sighing.

“So,” he said, letting go of me. “This Biersack kid at the park?”

“You whore,” I muttered.

“Hey,” he warned. “I was very young and very foolish. I’m quite old now.”

I scoffed. “’Coulda fooled me.” I folded my arms over my chest and he sighed.

“GET TO BED!” He yelled. “I need to talk to you about something tomorrow. I’ve been worrying about it.” I tilted my head at his words in curiosity. He shook his head. “Go to bed. Thank you so much for the performance… it made me so happy… you don’t even know… but get to bed. I need to tell you something that may exhaust you later, so get as much rest as you can. I’m very proud of you, hun.” I smiled at his words and stood up, running from the garage, into the house and up into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and ran into my room and plopping onto my bed.

Dad and I are getting closer… just like a father and daughter should be…

I wonder what news he has to tell me… I hope it’s not bad…

Destiny
Noun. 1. Something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lots of fortune. 2. The predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistable course of events. 3. The future destined for a person or thing; fate; fortune; lot