Journey to the Past

“Old band news,” I heard. I looked up, seeing Erin standing by my door. I was only just playing guitar in the morning. No biggie. “Like, there was this band called OneRepublic. One of their songs literally… it’s amazing…”

“Oh?” I asked, smiling.

“Marchin’ on,” she said. “I’ll make you coffee since you’re quite busy and so and so.” My best friend skipped off and I giggled. I set my guitar aside and grabbed my iPod, looking for the band OneRepublic. They were more or less a group, not a band. They weren’t hard rock like I liked but they weren’t too bad. I listened to Marchin On…


For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when loves what you hate,
Somehow,
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn't be there,
I've made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
We'll keep moving on.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things were not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We're not what we've seen,

For this dance we'll move with each other.
There ain't no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

We'll have the days we break,
And we'll have the scars to prove it,
We'll have the bonds that we save,
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,
For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain't got no other,
We go when we go,
We're marching on.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

I found myself crying. I sniffled. This song was beautiful. It made me feel like I could do anything… and it made me feel suddenly a bit more confident… I sighed shakily at the meaning… the words literally spoke what I felt so much right now… I love it so much.

New song obsession for sure.

Erin had come back in with a lovely cup of coffee. She sat by my bed and yawned, laying on it. I laughed, seeing as how she had just gotten up. I ignored it, continuing my guitar playing. She hummed at the tune of Black Veil Bride’s Never Give In. I had taken the liberty of learning all of my dad’s old songs along with a song called Fallen Angels and Set The World On Fire. I was unaware of other releases so I got mega pumped when he told me about them.

Vinnie walked in, his hair a fucking mess. I laughed softly at the sight of him, biting my lip soon after so I wouldn’t be looked at as rude. His blue-grey eyes narrowed at me and he walked over, softly thumping the back of my head. I scrunched my nose up at him and he laughed, sitting on the bed, too, on Erin’s feet.

I figured Erin and Vinnie were getting rather close now.

“GET YOUR BUTT OFF OF ME YOU…” Erin sat up and looked angrily at him in a joking manner. “BOY WHO SMELLS LIKE… BOY FUNK!” I laughed through my lips, almost spitting but loudly. What the fuck was boy funk? Funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life, that’s for sure.

“Boy funk?! You have to have skill to smell the way I do.” Vinnie said, puffing his chest up at us.

“Boy funk smell is icky,” Erin laughed.

“I haven’t taken a shower yet! Give me a break.” Vinnie complained childishly. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. He threw it back towards me but ended up hitting Erin square in the face. She smiled wickedly at him, the pillow in her hand and she stood up, ready to hit him.

“Either you get a pillow for a pillow fight or you surrender.” She said. “I’m declaring war,”

“I’m not hitting a gir—AHH!” He yelled as she hit him with the pillow continuously. Soon enough, Vinnie fell off the bed and was on the ground. The three of us were laughing so much. It was so good to have times like this since quite recently things have been quiet, scary, nerve racking, overwhelming and maybe even a little depressing… not to mention that half the things that have happened are impossible to believe… I still dream about Alex, Haley, Logan and Mom… oh, mom is so beautiful… I wish I could see her again… and Alex… I’ve never missed a small kid so much that it hurt, like a part of me was missing. Haley… it was difficult talking to Scout about random things running through my head—I mean, sure, it was fine and we could but it wasn’t as close and true as it was with Haley, my aunt.

Logan. I figured Logan was my dead uncle I had never met even when I was younger and everyone was alive. I do think mom told me about him… how one day he was walking and was just suddenly stabbed out of nowhere… such a sad thing! Completely morbid, too. Apparently it was never known who stabbed him. How upsetting. He was a riot to be around. Such a fun kid.

I really missed them, you know.

Scout came in, staring at the floor with a confused face. She’s so pretty! “Um…” She said softly, a small smile on her lips. “Why?”

“Because he smells like boy funk!” Erin and I both yelled. She laughed.

“Well then maybe he should shower?” She said.

“I—UGH!” Vinnie yelled, angrily and messily stood up, taking the pillow from Erin. “IT’S A DRAW!”

“Oh my god!” She laughed. “I totally had you beat!”

“NUH UH!” He yelled, slamming the pillow to the floor and walking out. We laughed for a bit after he was out of earshot.

“Ha, oh, geez. By the way,” Scout looked at me. “You’re old man wants to talk to you about something mega important,”

“Old man!” Erin and I said simultaneously, laughing. I put my guitar down and walked off down the hall and down the stairs, searching for my dad who was in the living room, sitting and flipping through channels. I wonder if he works.

“Old man,” I said. Dad looked up at me, a portion of my eyes staring back at me. He shut them and sighed.

“Now I feel like I’m a senior citizen.” He grumbled. I giggled, sitting next to him. “Nothing to watch… seriously, it’s upsetting…”

“Well, there’s on demand…” I suggested. He looked at me, confused. “Dad, there’s a button on the remote that says ‘On Demand’…”

“N-No, no!” He retorted. “I know about on demand! We had it when I was your age, too. It’s old like me.”

“Oh my gosh,” I laughed. “So what did you want to talk about?”

He let out a deep breath and settled on The Pink Panther cartoon from way back when. I couldn’t help smiling at his choice of TV watching. I looked at him and he yawned. “Oh man… okay. So… Scout’s been out and about and such… um… she’s found a man.”

“Aww!” I said.

“No, no,” He said quickly. “Not like that, uh… it’s a guy we didn’t think we’d hear from again, really… I’m guessing you remember him now? Possibly not since… you only saw him on that night… so maybe not… maybe mom told you about him… Nathaniel?” My eyebrows furrowed at the mention of that name. A sickening felling formed in the pit of my stomach, a disgusting, acid-like taste filled my mouth.

I remember I did nightmare about some guy a while back… I almost never do now… but before I came here and on the first day I did come here I had morbid, lucid dreams of him and blood and such things that have happened in the past that now I remember of. I feel like this guy was the Nathaniel Dad was talking about.

“I dunno, remind me?” I asked.

“Black hair, blue eyes, um… well… he basically…” His jaw clenched and his hands balled up into fists. “He killed a lot of our friends and family,”

“When?” I asked darkly.

“Um, you know… around when you disappeared and there was blood everywhere on the snow and—” my hands shot up to my ears and I shut my eyes and brought my legs up to my chest.

Yeah, that was him.

“I saw him,” I said softly, opening my eyes. “Like, recently kind of… like…” I bit my lip. “We were walking down a street and he like stares at me the whole time and it was the scariest moment ever.”

“He knows who you are, then. He’s smart like that,”

“What’s this got to do with anything, then?” I asked.

“This is actually bad,” I looked at Dad square on since I wasn’t really understanding much of this. “You’re theoretically supposed to be dead. He thinks he killed everyone but me and Scout.” My eyes widened at his words. “If he knows that you’re alive… then that’s why he’s here in California again… fuck that’s gunna happen. You’re not leaving the house alone. Ever.”

“Am I in danger?” I asked. He nodded.

“See, you look like mom,” Dad began. Aww. “And you do share some of my features also, of course, which created your own original self in case you were unaware although I’m very sure that you are,” I smirked. “And he… before I came into the picture, he had some sort of obsession with your mom. It was ok at first but he ended up doing bad things to her. I came in the picture, protected her as much as I could, got him upset. The story’s actually kind of long… I’ll tell it to you some other time?” I nodded. I was so excited to hear my mom and dad’s story now. Dad crookedly smiled. “Good…”

“Pumped,”

“But now Scout and I are worried about your safety. He’ll literally stop at nothing to get at you. We know how he… functions… and if he needs other people to assist him, he’ll get it, and he’s not afraid to kill someone since he’s done a remarkable job at doing so already.” His eyes turned sorrowful, misty and he shook his head. I shivered at the thought of that night. I’ve never been more scared in my life but at that time… the scars are still there in me and in Dad… and I could even tell Scout and Vinnie had scars, too. All emotional.

You can’t recover from something like that.

“Why would he want me?” I asked.

“He’s sick, that’s why.”

“Well,” I said, trying to fit things together. “What would he do to me if he got at me?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Dad growled. “Because it won’t happen.” I nodded. “On another note… Scout and I were at the park… and there was this kid,”

“Oh my gosh!” I shook my head at this.

“Yeah he’s… he definitely has some characteristics of me and whoever the mom is,” Oh how horrible dad must have been back then! “I know, I was pig. Never again. Such a dark time in my life…” At this time, Erin came downstairs with my coffee that I had left upstairs.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it from her.

“No problem!” She sat down next to me and ate an apple. I started to sip my coffee.

“Father, please continue,” I said in an English accent, making both of them laugh.

“So… this kid and I talked. I went up to him, talked and everything. And,” He crookedly smiled again. I sipped coffee again. “He’s coming over for dinner tonight with his mom.” I did a spit take. Whatthefuck?

“Are you nuts?!”

“Very,”

“Who is this?” Erin asked.

“The kid at the park… one of dad’s many offspring and one of my many half-brothers. I’m guessing I have half-sisters, too… Holy crap, dude, seriously?!” I looked back at dad. “He’s like… I dunno, a bit of an… egotistical jerk from what I could tell.”

“Oh, definitely,” Dad agreed. “But after I got passed that asshole part of him, I dug deeper and he’s a nice kid, I could tell.”

“Oh my god, dad…” I sighed, putting my cup on the floor.

Why’s Jared Biersack coming to dinner tonight? Obviously the world is crazy! What are we going to do? “HEY! I’M YOUR SISTER!” “HEY! I’M YOUR BROTHER!” “COOL!”

No. More like awkward as fuck. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to enjoy his company at all… plus meeting a girl Dad’s fucked with once who isn’t mom? I don’t like this at all, seriously I might throw something at both of them.

Dad’s MY dad. No one else’s. Mom’s my Dad’s wife, no one else’s.
That’s all.

Precaution
Noun. A measure taken in advance to avert possible evil or to secure good results.