When You Look Me In The Eyes

I drove two minutes into the small town. I parked my car in one of the few spaces and got out. Basically the town looks like a giant rectangle. There is a big park in the middle shaped like a rectangle and on three sides of it are some stores. That’s it. That’s the entire town. Behind the stores are all the houses. I walked over to a store called Lah De Dah’s. Its this really cute store that has everything from antiques, to art supplies, to jewelry, and candy. And anything hand made. I walked around the store for about a half hour. It’s not a big store. Just about as big as a normal house. But every room has stuff. And every room leads into another room or a closet. It’s easy to get lost. Once I was done I went to another antique store right next to it. I stayed in there for awhile and then left.

Once I got back in my car I drove to the bridge that went over the river. It only took about seven seconds to drive over it. I parked my car along side and started to walk down the stairs of the bridge. When I got to the bottom I saw tons of people in the river and some outside. I sat down along side and stuck just my feet in. The water was nice and cool. I heard laughter, and talking. But I tuned it all out. I laid back on the dirt and shut my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke and noticed that the sun was setting and most people had already left. I got up and brushed myself off. I climbed the stairs back to my car and got my purse out. I checked my phone and noticed I had ten missed calls, fourteen texts, and 5 voicemails. 2 calls from Joe, 2 calls from Nick, 2 calls from Kevin, 2 calls from Lilly, 1 call from Sarah, and 1 call from Ricky. All the voicemails said the same thing ‘Where are you, are you ok, call me’. The same with the texts. I ignored everything and turned my phone off then threw it in the car. I locked my car back up and started walking to get some food because my stomach was growling at me.

As I was walking to a little snow cone stand I saw a woman that was obviously pregnant. I stopped in my tracks and my breath got caught in my throat. I watched her give her two daughters a cone as she held one hand to her stomach. This made me mad for some reason. This lady was going to have another healthy child. She already had two, maybe even more. It wasn’t fair. Why should my sister had to of had a miscarriage but this lady got to have her children and is going to get to have another one. I felt my face flame up with anger.

Tears welded up in my eyes but I pushed them back. I ran straight to my car and drove away. I was going a little to fast but I didn’t care. I drove to camp and parked the car in front of the camp site like always. As I got out I slammed the door and walked to my tent. I stepped inside and saw Lilly lying on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” She asked me as soon as she saw me.
“I’m fine.” I muttered.
“Hun I can tell you’re no where near fine. What’s going on?” She asked.
“Nothing I just need to get something.” I said as I stared to go through my suit case. I thew things on the floor but it didn’t matter. I just needed something to make me numb again. At last I found them when they got ripped out of my hand.
“Hey!” I shouted.
“This is what you’re looking for?! You’ve already taken two today!” She shouted back.
“So what?! Just give them to me!” I screamed.
“No! You’ve had enough. I’m keeping them.” She said sternly as she got out of the tent. I followed her out.
“You know what?! Screw you!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.
“I’m just trying to help you.” She said.
“I don’t need you’re help.” I said and turned around and ran into someone. I didn’t even look at them I just tried to move past them. But they blocked me.
“Move.” I said with venom in my voice still not looking up.
“No.” I heard Joe say.
“Move now.” I said again.
“No what’s going? Why are you guys fighting?” he asked.
“Joe. Just leave her alone. She’s really mad right now.” Lilly warned him.
“Yeah because I’m so scared of her.” Joe laughed. I looked up for the first time and stared him dead straight in the eye. I could feel my eyes full of hate.
“Get the fuck out of my way.” I said in a low voice.
“Joe let her go.” Lilly said quickly.
“No.” He said simply. I said nothing I just kicked him in the balls and ran away. I heard my name being called but I didn’t listen I just kept running.