When You Look Me In The Eyes

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The next day I woke up and I wanted a cigarette. No, I needed a cigarette. If only I hadn’t smoked them all. I walked to my closet in my pajamas and got some sandals on. Then I walked down the street to the liquor market that I knew so well. When I walked in I went straight to the check out. Luckily I know the guy who owns the place so he will sell me cigarettes and anything else I may happen to need.

Ronny told me my total was $4.45 just as someone walked in. I didn’t check to see who it was I just handed Ronny my money and in exchange he gave me my cigarettes. I turned around with my cigarettes in hand and saw Nick. This looked really bad. Not only was I holding a pack of cigarettes but this proved that Ronny was selling to a minor. He could get in serious trouble. I quickly hid them in my back pocket as Nick saw me. He waved and I waved back then I got the hell out of there.
On the way home I smoked only one cigarette. When I finally got home Lilly was already dressed. She took one look at me and knew that I smoked the entire pack last night. How did she know you may ask? Well I never go in the morning to buy them unless I’m out. And being on how I had almost a full pack before dinner last night, she knew I smoked them all. Now don’t get me wrong this didn’t happen all the time. Only when I’m really stressed or dehydrated. Last night just happened to be both.

“Again?” She asked. I gave her an apologetic smile.
“Smoking kills.” She said.
“Look who’s talking.” I joked. Once I was ready Lilly and I left in my car. Yes my car. It was birthday present from my sister and brother. Once they figured out how I drove they wanted to take it back. But it was too late.

We drove to the mall and began shopping. We both went to Pac Sun and spent a good hour in there. We bought about four hundred dollars worth of clothes all together. Then we went to other stores and bought even more stuff. Soon we sat down at The Cheese Cake Factory and ate lunch. I told her all about my nightmare and Nick. She was horrified by my nightmare. Eventually we went home and unloaded our stuff. Then we decided to go over to Nick’s house.

Luckily he was the one that answered the door. He let us in and he gave us a tour of his house. It was huge. After we were done looking we went into the basement to hang out. Then we met his brothers Kevin, Joe, and Frankie. They all seemed pretty nice. Once we started playing video games Kevin and Frankie left.

“So if you two aren’t sisters then where are you’re parents?” Joe asked me. I knew this question was going to come up again. I just had to make up some lie. I didn’t want strangers knowing anything about my parents.

“Well um my mom died three years ago. And um my dad… just isn’t in the picture.” I managed. It wasn’t totally a lie. Yes my mom was dead, murdered to be specific. And yes my dad wasn’t exactly in the picture, but that’s because it is kind of hard to be apart of a family when you’re in jail.

“Oh I’m sorry.” He immediately said.
“It’s ok.” I said.
“So what does you’re mom do for a living?” Nick asked Lilly.
“Uh…she’s a waitress.” Lilly said. I guess she didn’t want them to know about her either. Sure her mother was somewhat of a waitress. If you counted waiting to men at a strip bar.
“She must get pretty big tips then to afford that house.” Nick laughed. Oh he had no idea.

We went home around nine after Joe protesting for us not to. But we had to because we both desperately needed a cigarette. After we were done we went to bed. Through out the next two weeks we got to know our neighbors better. They constantly wanted to hang out. I would think they that they would have tons of friends. After all I had just found out that there in a band. But once I heard they played pop music I didn’t care.

Joe ended up being protective of me so quickly it was ridiculous. I’ve only known the guy for two weeks and he’s already warding off cute boys. I think he has himself convinced I’m his little sister. And Nick. Oh boy. He is so hot. The way he looks at me just makes me wants to spill my guts but I know I can’t. Whenever I trust someone I get stabbed in the back. I can’t let my guard down. I can’t even be in a relationship. Having someone to call a friend is pushing it, but to have a boyfriend. Well that’s just crossing the line.